INTER-RACIAL -- How is preferring same-race romance not racist?

I really like this question and it's a good one. One that I have never considered before but here is what I'm thinking. Btw, I like a lot of the answers here, they make sense to me.

Anyway, I think that the reason people who have skin preferences for their own race are not necessarily racists is because they are merely choosing people that they are attracted to. For whatever reason those people are not as a rule attracted to people outside their ethnicity. And as many of us know attraction isn't something that can always be controlled. Now, here's the deal though, what you described could be two different things. The first thing it could be is racism. You are right about that BUT ONLY if the guy is deciding that the reason he does not want to date her is BECAUSE she is black. If that is his sole reason he clearly has some race issues that he needs to examine. Maybe he's not racist per se but his reluctance to date her because of her skin color shows that he has race issues that perhaps he didn't even know he had. Like, maybe he doesn't dislike black people but he's afraid of what white people or black people would say if he dates a black girl (that is just one idea). That is a racist issue that he needs to deal with. So yes that is racism in kind, I guess you could say.

The second thing what you describe could be is JUST a preference thing. Like maybe, that guy does not dislike black people at all but he is just not attracted to black girls. Maybe he even recognizes all the things about her that you stated (her eyes, her body, her sweet personality, etc.) and even finds her attractive (physically/intellectually appealing) BUT he is just not attracted TO her. This is not because she IS black but because she ISN'T the type (physical or otherwise) that he is attracted to. That is NOT racism. Now, if he found that by some crazy occurrence he IS attracted to that black girl but decides he doesn't want to date her because she is black (even though he CLEARLY likes her) THAT would be considered a racist thing.

As a black girl, I honestly do not feel like I have a racial preference for guys and there are a lot of others that don't either, but there are also people who do so I hope this helps clarify about SOME of those people.

My guess is that it is a "comfort" thing. If you were raised in an area where there was one dominant type of race, that may be what you are used to and therefore find attractive. Could be the same as being raised with people with a certain hair color and not really being attracted to people that don't have that hair color. It is all on an individual basis. A lot of people are just close minded also.

I can't speak for other people but I personally don't find people of may other races attractive, period, not because of their skin, but in part because of their cultures, the differences in body shapes, a million different things, I've only met like 2 Mexicans in my life that I thought were attractive and their personalities killed it, I've SEEN (as in on tv) like 3 Asians that were remotely attractive to me, and never have I met someone from the middle east, or of African decent that I though was attractive. I've seen pretty females of all of these races, but I don't swing that way, the males of most other races besides White, and Native American just don't appeal to me. So no, to say that I wouldn't date a black man, or that I wouldn't date an East Indian, isn't me being racist, I've just never found one that I thought was attractive enough for the thought to be considered. If that makes me racist then I guess I'm racist against my own races (white and native American) because I wouldn't date 90% of those that I see either.

There are people who would not go out with someone who possesses a quality that they don't generally find attractive on a girl or a guy - e.g. skin colour, and yes I have known a few men and women like that. I think it could be racist to a slight extent or it could even simply be a prejudice - e.g. perhaps the idea of black women don't fit their perception of the 'ideal' or 'feminine' woman often portrayed by the media and so on. However, more than anything, I think that they either have a strong personal preference for or attraction to a certain type (of skin colour in this instance) or they are just 'picky' and conservative to some extent.

Well first of all their is no such thing as racist. We are all the same race. THE HUMAN RACE! However, back to the point. Many people don't judge people just on the color of their eyes or how sweet they are. They also base their decision on the level of pigment in their skin. Just like on may like blondes but not redheads. The pigment of one's skin is all the difference for some people. Since you are asking a hypothetical question their, I'm sure that you are well aware that for some hypothetical questions their is not real world application. So although one might have a sexy geometric figure, the pigment of one's skin can alter the perceived sexiness of that person. I hope this answers your question.

Its not racist because if you're not attracted to her, then you're simply not attracted to her. Thats not something you can control. Now, if you were to give her a chance for some reason and actually go on a date with her fully expecting to just not hit it off since you were not immediately physically attracted to her, you might find yourself surprised by what else was there. You would see other allures to her (the ones you mentioned) and would eventually come to find her physically attractive. See, all those things you listed (pretty eyes, hot body etc) if you truly were not attracted to her because you prefer lets say white girls, you wouldn't even notice. If you did notice that she had a hot body and beautiful eyes etc etc you would have accepted her date.

I don't know if it is necessarily "racist" seeing as the person isn't claiming to dislike an entire "race" of people (in that example, the black/african-american race) but rather they don't like that one person

however, it isn't right. While everyone is entitled to "like who they like' they could miss out on a LOT of great relationships/memories because of a "preference." It could also be that it isn't her skin per se but rather they are afraid of the reactions/attention such a relationship would garner or the work that goes into makin interracial relationships last

great question:)

(p.s. if that hypothetical thingie in ur question isn't so "hypothetical" i think you should give it a try, unless you anticipate it not working as that would ruin ur friendship but Beauty is Beauty and someone's skin color shouldn't dictate that)

Well, you mentioned her body. What if she had small breasts? I know a few guys who would not date a person because of her breasts. Furthermore, I have heard a guy say that a girl was beautiful, perfect body, etc... but "bad hair".

Personally, I think interracial relationships are beautiful.

I also think however, that not wanting to date outside your race can often go much deeper than skin. Often people want to avoid cultural/religious/family issues that might arise with it.

I would venture to say that racism is a very old-fashioned concept in this day. The few who still are racists are thought to be ignorant - as they are. Now it only takes the rest of the world letting go of the term and coming to an understanding that people in general don't maliciously hate certain colors of skin anymore.

Forget what some have said about you being racialistic: your not. I've am the product of an interracial union and I can tell you from experience that you are looking out for yours AND hers best interest. If you and her were living in a world without certain demands then it wouldn't be a problem... but we don't live in that world, we live in the real. My father is Black and my mother is Vietnamese. I have never met my paternal grandparents though they live just across town. And my maternal grandmother looks down her nose at my dad and only talks if she has too to him. I have had a tough time dealing with the endless questions of who I identify with (RU asian-american or afro-american?) and can ID with Tiger Woods more than anything. Since we live in a predominately Vietnamese part of downtown, I hung out with the Viet kids. I got along with most of them until they met my dad and did things change. I got a lotta grief from the older kids and into quite a few fights. As for GF's, well I wish I had the time to tell ya all the wacked out stories of my romantic hookups with american women.

Sooo, I can understand and sympathize with your situation. The tremendous pressure people go thru when dating outside of their race, but not from society but FROM THEIR OWN FAMILIES MAKES IT UNWORKABLE. What a shame

Think that situation would be racist, but I guess it's just that you can identify with the same racial discrimination as your partner if they are the same race as you. Idk if my answer is valid though, because I'm Japanese and my boyfriend happens to be Japanese as well, but I'm also attracted to whites and latinos. However, I still have a race preference...Idk. I guess it's just what you find attractive, but obviously race shouldn't be a thing that stops you from having a relationship with an amazing person hypothetically.