Why won't she ask what I'd like for my birthday?

well, her way you learn more about how the other person sees you--but you could just make a list of your fav movies, cd's, clothes, jewelry, plants etc and tell her you love surprises too and this way she can surprise you with something you will love and please would she return the favor because you want to give her something she will love as well!!

The way it "used-to-be" ... was that a person gave another person a gift which they picked out for that person themselves - and the gift was a surprise to the other person. The person who received the gift - accepted the gift graciously - even if they didn't like the gift, and they never told them, they just acted happy about it -- it's not what the gift itself is -- what is important is the thought behind the gift. Lots of people still feel this same way.

Lots of people do not tell other people what to buy them ... unless they are asked.

The only way you can change it -- is to tell her how you want it done -- that you want to tell her what to buy you for your birthday.

the great thing about family is that you shouldn't have to worry about etiquette! it sounds harsh and all, but you will reallly be helping your relationship with your cousin is you just tell her.

i mean, my sister keeps getting me terrible things to, and i tell her sometimes, like "oh yeah...i appreciate the gift, but it's not really my thing..." etc. and i think she got it because she started asking me what i would like. and after all, you and your cousin are family, and you shouldn't be worried about asking her things...are you guys not close?

you should just be able to say like "hey. this gift sucks!" haha. not in those terms, but you know what i mean.

i say things to my mother like "you are a great cook..but please, for the love of god, never make that again!" but she knows i just mean it in a joking, yet SERIOUS way. and she will listen to me. after all, i don't want to put up with stuff i dn't like, and you shouldn't have to either! the person should take the effort to consider what you want, not the other way around.

just tell her, you will both benefit from it, and sure it may be awkward when you first say it, but in the end...you will be happy you did it.

It is unethical to ask others what they want for gifts. It is a question a little forward to some people. Their is nothing you can do about bad gifts. Unfortunatly, everyone has a family member that gives us terrible gifts.