how do i make up with him, to the point where we can be friends again?

i`ve had an ex for two years that i really care about near still love . our friendship seems to always have roller coaster rides, we could never be friends more than 2 months even less . we were close , he was my best friend , but i used to push him away to the point we would stop talkin . well recently , he came to the house and rather than doing what he came to do , we started getting initmate , no sex , jus kissing , and touching . this went on for 3 days , but knowing the experiences i dealt with in the past from him , i pulled back because i didn`t wanna feel played . even though i already kinda did . so i accused im alot , and he pledged to me he wasnt , and we`re just friends . i went to many other friends , and some talked to him , and the responses were the same , its jus a sudden attraction , hes not tryin to hurt you , play you or anything , he just wants to be a good guy trying to go to college . but something told me not to listen to that , and i really believe it`s because i was afraid . now , we got in an argument at lunch , and i went home and wrote him a letter explaining everything tellin him not to talk to me , eff him and this that and the third . so we stopped talking , and he deleted me , and hes now acting diferently . it seems like his life is better without me , hes more louder , smiling more , and is gettin in touch with his ex`s i assume . mainly the one i warned him about . we have a class together every other day . and lunch everyday . . . . i`m tired of feeling uncomfortable . someone please be honest , less amusing , and tell me what i should do ? hes graduating in less than a month . im tired of being depressed . i tried to play the happy game , but that leaded me more depressed .