I think being raped ruined my sex life.?

First of all, I'm not sure if what happened is legally rape (although it might be). More importantly, though, is how you feel about it - and for you, it brought a feeling of pain, of loss, of lack of control, of sadness. None of these things are likely to let you relax and open up, usually helpful to orgasm with a partner.

I'd recommend that you see a therapist, possibly a sex therapist, preferably with your husband (if you can deal with that. Otherwise, start off by yourself, and bring him later on, when you're ready).

In the meantime, you might want to start with you masturbating while he kisses you, or touches your breasts. That way, you can get used to the idea of being aroused by him while having an orgasm. You can move from there, having him do more and more, and see if that helps.

I have some other thoughts, if you want to discuss this...

Being that she is 18, she's a legal adult so it's not statuatory rape. Now if the aunt physically forced her into having sex, then that is rape. Other than that, as an adult, she had the right and freedom to say no and walk away. If she allowed her aunt to coerce her into having sex, then she should see a therapist to figure out why she felt she couldn't say no when she could. Therapy has nothing to do with the law. She can see a counselor without having to report it to the police and that may be the best thing for her. God bless. ADDON: I just read what I wrote and I want to be absolutely clear about something.She is not AT ALL to blame for what happened. As the older woman, the aunt shouldn't have coerced her to do anything. But going to counseling can help her understand why she was coerced in the first place and and help her understand that she has the power to say no, which can be a powerful thing. But I'm not blaming the niece AT ALL.

There are many sources that are free for you to use if you feel you have been sexually assaulted in some way. Reading your story makes me believe that that night truly affected you. Rape is Rape by the way. Don't try to justify what happened. He knew what he was doing. I would recommend you get counseling to get over this or at least have as much as a normal life with a healthy sexual relationship. As far as as the point goes, different things work for different women.

You're really beating yourself up over this - and you're not being fair to yourself. Most first-time sex is just like you described it. The second and third time isn't much better. If you'd stop pressuring the guys to have sex, you could give yourself some breathing room to get ahead of the sex curve. What you need to learn is that girls don't orgasm until they feel safe and protected. What you're doing is too scary for you to relax enough to orgasm. Drinking seems like a good way to relax, but it just makes it worse. The girls that have the most orgasms are the young married Christian girls at church. You'll not find any orgasms until you slow down and find a strong, faithful man who will relax you without getting you drunk. It's a nicer way to live your life. You'll really like the orgasms! BTW: he knows you're lying, but he's still with you.

Maybe u should try seeing sex not only as a pleasureable experience but also as an emotional connection with ur fiancee maybe while ur having sex with him think of him as "omg this is the man that i Love". You know the fact that u had sex with different people for no reason in the past might've distracted u from something else sex is supposed to do for you and that is give u a deeper conneection with the one you love.

Whether you think what happened to you when you were younger was rape or not, it definitely was rape. He knew what he was doing and obviously knew you were uncomfortable. Just because someone took your innocence away doesn't mean you should just let people use you sweetie.

Maybe you should talk to a counselor. i'm not implying that you ae crazy, but i think there is a lot more pain and discomfort than what you notice because you covered it up for so long.

There are women who do not orgasm, it's not uncommon. but i really do think you should see a therapist hun

im 15. i went through my exboyfriend and my cousin raping me! my cousin did this when i was a lil girl for years and my boyriend did it this past year.

not to be gross, but when i have tried to achieve a orgasm through masterbation, ive always been unsuccessful.

i feel like it gets to a certain point, like it will happen, then just goes.

and its something i dont enjoy. i didnt enjoy the few times i consented to my ex. he was the only one that i consented to.

sometimes i go into thinking about how "im not worth anything anymore. im damaged goods. no one will want me" and it really gets me down

i feel like being raped ruined sex for me. if you find any anwers id like to know. that would be nice.

Sounds like you just gave up on self Respect.

Try Figuring yourself out.

i Would Advise Telling that chic's Brother

how you felt in person, even though its been a while.

That might take alot off...

You sound like...

Your not so over it.

i think that you should consider councelling. but many women don't have orgasms just try to experiment with finding ways that you enjoy sex and i am sure that you will. good luck

This question would be best handled by a professional, or your parents. Good luck to you.