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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureReligion & Spirituality · 1 decade ago

On a scale of one to ten, where do your parents rate?

Why?

If you would like, further break it down:

Consistency 1-10

Instilling Work Ethic 1-10

Instilling Self-Confidence 1-10

Expressing love and/or affection 1-10

Interest in you as a human being/Encouraging areas of giftedness or special interest 1-10

Teaching conflict resolution 1-10

Respondents should feel free to suggest other categories for rating parents that I may have missed.

5 is average.

10, you've got no complaints whatsoever.

0, you've plotted on how to kill the bastards, they're just not worth going to prison over. Or else they're already dead.

Bonus question: Rate yourself, if you're a parent. I'll wait about fifteen minutes and post my ratings.

Finally, for the Relgiious/Spiritual aspect of the question, state the religious or philosophical orientation of your parent(s).

Update:

Overall, I'd give my Dad a 5, my mother a 5. They were both Christians. My mother is a little more of a fundamentalist than my dad.

Consistency, my Dad gets a 3. Evangelical Christian who was a chain-smoker and a closet alcoholic. My mom gets a 6. She was consistent all right. Consistently judgmental.

Instilling work ethic, 8. I'm a good worker, and my parents were good workers. I absorbed that from them primarily purely from example. My dad was a workaholic.

Instilling self-confidence? 3. My mom was very critical when she wasn't telling me to go away and play. My dad couldn't really instill confidence, because he didn't have a lot himself. Hence, the alcoholism

Expressing love/affection: my dad gets a 7, my mom gets a 4. I don't have any problem expressing my affection and love for my kids though. I'm clearly above average in that category. They get hugs and kisses and "I love you's" and "I'm proud of you's" everyday, which is more than I got.

Update 2:

Interest as a human being: 3. Neither of them knows what to do with me now that I've rejected Christianity, and I'm not sure what to do with them.

Conflict Resolution: Both my parents have tempers, although my mother's aggression is generally more passive than my father's. Any time there's a family get together, my dad can be counted on to curse loudly about some insignificant thing and make the whole room uncomfortable.

So maybe I'll revise my parents down to a 4. Maybe a hair below average.

Me? It's hard to judge when you're in the middle of raising kids. Hopefully, I'm giving them better than I got, but you can look at my Q&A and find a few of MY imperfections. And my kids see even more...

I liked The Rev. Soleil's response. Wait til they're grown, then decide.

Update 3:

Priscilla: Looks like your parents were pretty good. Good for you!

Yack and Marlboro: I'm glad nurture doesn't account for everything. I personally think that you two are stellar individuals.

Dawn: I'm happy for you!

Watev: It's a mixed bag, isn't it?

Autumn: Your parents sound like great people.

(((Cinn))): Your parents sound like good people. And thank you for that last word. That made me feel good.

Smooth Kitty: Thank you for sharing.

Diane: Thank you. I sort of had a reverse experience. I thought my parents were great when I was a teenager. But only because my whole family was socially backward and I never saw how the kids with great parents related in their families. I was a bit of a loner when I was young. Still am. Only I'm comfortable with it now, and when I was younger I thought there was something wrong with me for being more introverted than extroverted.

21 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Can I do them separately? or do I have to combine them as one.. they are divorced now after 30 something years, life is such a nightmare at times =)

    Consistency 9

    Instilling Work Ethic 7

    Instilling Self-Confidence 8.5

    Expressing love and/or affection 10 (especially for Mom or 10++)

    Interest in you as a human being/Encouraging areas of giftedness or special interest 8

    Teaching conflict resolution 8

    I have been blessed with an awesome family!

    Guess we all get something good out of life sometimes.

    Cinn =)

    P.S. Occult I'm Proud of You!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Consistency - Mom 6, Dad 8, me 7

    Instilling Work Ethic - Mom 2, Dad 7, me 4

    Instilling Self-Confidence - Mom 4, Dad 2, me 8

    Expressing love and/or affection - Mom 9, Dad 7, me 10

    Interest in you as a human being/Encouraging areas of giftedness or special interest - Mom 9, Dad 1, me 9

    Teaching conflict resolution - Mom 3, Dad 2, me 7

    Mom was atheist until I moved away at 17 to go to college, then was quickly assimilated and became a fundie.

    Dad would call himself a Christian if you asked him, but never read the Bible and didn't really give a crap about any of it. I'd call him a de facto agnostic.

    I'm an atheist. Probably an anti-theist if you want to be specific.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Okay, well, my dad doesn't count. He gets all 0s right off the bat (and I've found myself thinking of what I'd like to do to him, but due to the fact that we live on different continents, I can't carry those plans out), but my mom is awesome, though we argue a lot, so here are my ratings for her:

    Consistency: That would be about an eight or nine. Her rules haven't changed since I was a child. It's still: Be nice and the world shall be nice to you, although I think that's complete bull, in my opinion. Everything happens for a reason, and you don't get what you can't handle. Two very valuable lessons.

    Instilling Work Ethic: My mom is great at instilling work ethic, so she gets a ten on that one. She never lets me settle for anything other than the best, and if I fail, she reminds me it's not the end of the world. She's always been a hardworker, and I get that from her.

    Instilling Self-Confidence: An eight.

    Expressing love and/or affection: My mom's definitely a ten on this one. She's always made sure we knew she loved us, whether it was with words or actions. And when we forget it, she reminds us again.

    Interest in you as a human being/Encouraging areas of giftedness or special interest. About a seven. With me. With the rest of my siblings, especially my second sister, an eight or nine. It doesn't bother me, really. It's just that I like writing, and my mom hates writing and reading, so she gets bored with it very quickly.

    Teaching conflict resolution. Uh...my mom's rather passive-aggressive. Way more passive-aggressive than I'd like her to be. She's a five.

    Had a crappy childhood, but my mom's tried her best to always keep us up, even when she didn't feel it herself. Overall, she's an eight. Not a bad parent, but not perfect either. And I like it that way. She also got recognized by the community as Mom of the Year sometime back, so I wasn't the only one to notice her work.

    It's too bad your parents can't appreciate who you are even though you don't believe in the same thing as them. Maybe if they could look past your non-belief, they'd know what to do with you. :D

  • Watev
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Consistency - 2.

    Instilling Work Ethic - 8. I actually looked forward to going to where my mother worked, and I followed my dad along sometimes when he was a taxi driver. I liked doing house chores even though they didn't want me to do them.

    Instilling Self-Confidence - 1. They got me started, and that's it. I've had to find out why I should keep living on my own. I had no self-confidence growing up.

    Expressing love and/or affection - If what they did was considered "love", then they'd rank a 10. From my POV, it's a 3.

    Encouraging areas of giftedness or special interest - 10. I'll give them credit for this. They told me the importance of education, and got me interested in music and science/mathematics.

    Teaching conflict resolution - 1. My father taught me to hurt others when they hurt me back, and my mother just agreed with my father. Of course, I didn't do this.

    Their religion - both Catholic.

    In conclusion, my parents didn't do much to make me who I am today.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    7 or 8

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Consistency: 7

    Instilling Work Ethic: 10

    Instilling Self-Confidence: 5

    Expressing love and/or affection: Mom- 8 Dad- 5

    Interest in you as a human being/Encouraging areas of giftedness or special interest: 8

    Teaching conflict resolution: 7

    Both parents are Catholic.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    2 or a 3.

  • 1 decade ago

    7-9 in all... All in all they were great parents to have even when I was a teenager and didn't appreciate them and believed they were only 1 step smarter than cabbage as they could speak and cabbage couldn't.... When I got teenagers of my own I called my parents and said "Mom, Dad, remember those years between about my 10th birthday and my 20th birthday? Sorry about those years." My parents laughed hysterically and told me they had apologized to their parents when my siblings and I were teens...

    I would grade myself a 5-6 in all categories.. I'malways looking back and seeing what I could have done better if I could just get a "do over".... My 21 year old daughter gave me a 7-9 on all saying "You're too tough on yourself Mom, I got through childhood with a minimum of neuroses and will only need a few thousand dollars worth of therapy to set it all straight." Is a 21 yr old too old to return for a new less mouthy model? lol

    My parents are christian (My mother is conservative my father is more liberal)...

    I am an atheist...

    My 21 yr old is agnostic (with atheist leanings)

  • 1 decade ago

    Consistency: 8

    Instilling Work Ethic: 7

    Instilling Self Confidence: 3

    Expressive love and/or affection: 9

    Interest in me as a human being: 9

    Teaching conflict resolution: 2

    Growing up, my parents were agnostic/deistic, I think recently my dad may have become a theist though. I'm a Christian.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am going to rate my parents separately, because they hate each other... and one of them should have never had kids.

    Dad:

    Consistency: 7

    Instilling Work Ethic: 8

    Instilling Self-Confidence: 8

    Expressing love and/or affection: 8

    Interest in you as a human being/Encouraging areas of giftedness or special interest: 10

    Teaching conflict resolution: 9

    And, we never really talk about religion. But, I am about 80% sure he is atheist.

    Mom:

    Consistency: 3

    Instilling Work Ethic: big fat 0

    Instilling Self-Confidence: maybe like... 2

    Expressing love and/or affection: 0

    Interest in you as a human being/Encouraging areas of giftedness or special interest: 0

    Teaching conflict resolution: 1

    And she is Catholic... but she never goes to church [or does anything but sleep, for that matter]

    Good question :]

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