How do I handle this? My son is on the Asperger's end of the AS?

I think you need to schedule an appointment with the principal and explain to them exactly what you just said. Then they will be able to monitor your son and the bullies. The bullies parents should also come in for the meeting. Do not directly tell the the bullies that your son has AS because that could cause more bullying, but definitely tell the teachers.

It starts with you at home. Your son doesn't respect others' space? You have to teach him how to respect others' space. AS kids don't have the inborn radar for nonverbal cues that someone is getting annoyed with them or they're getting too close, so it's our job as their mothers to teach that to them. Is he in a social skills group? He should be.

Look, I know the other kids are mean, but the school is really not going to give a sh*t about it and will just tell you that "other kids are pulling away" from him because of his "odd behavior" and that's just going to hurt your feelings and make you get defensive, try to "educate" them about ASDs and then you'll be labeled a high-maintenance parent the rest of his elementary years.

Another issue is -- is he in the resource room or another smaller classroom where he can get more 1-on-1 attention. I'm sure he's a smart kid and you feel if he can do the academic work in regular class, that he belongs there.

The thing is, it's not about the work, it's about the sensory input. He notices every cough, every kid getting up to ask a question, every hint of a breeze, every pencil scratching on paper to a hugely magnified degree. It's not that he can't handle the work, it's that he needs a more quiet environment so he does not get overstimulated. That's what may be causing a lot of his acting out with other children.

Please get him an IEP evaluation, even though he's smart and can handle the academic work, so he can get social skills lessons and a smaller classroom to learn in.

All the best to you. You're on a difficult road.

If you don't stand up for him now no one will. Kids with Asperger do not think like most kids.

This is what I would do; does he have a therapist that works with him? If so set up a meeting (late in the year, but consider it, also for next year) with the therapist, the teacher, and the principal. Never go to the school by yourself to fight for him unless you have printed statistics and information. Arm yourself with research and statistics and SHOW the school.

Also, for you boy, try to get him in intensive therapy. I know people with Asperger (adults) who are living on their own and doing quite well. But you have to learn how to teach him and teach others about him. One issue with Asperger people is that the "space" issue and do tend to get rough without realizing it. You can learn to make him more aware but it is tough work and will take a lot of patience.

Find a support group, that will help. Arm yourself. If you have to set up a meeting and take five other experienced Asperger parents with you then do it. Knowledge is the key, learn all you can, and then learn some more. Take people with you and do not back down.

If you need help finding help, feel free to email me.

calm down. take a deep breath. and "...approach the school and get your point across firmly without getting annoyed..." just like you said. there is no need to erupt like a volcano.

remember, it's they that work for you. If the principal and teachers don't take you seriously, tell them you will go over their heads to the school board.

but maybe, that won't be necessary... if you take in reports from the child's g.p., health nurse, social worker, councilor, aspergers therapist, etc. regarding your sons development, it may get your point across that you mean business... You and your son are making an effort to integrate within their system and they are not doing their job to make sure that he has that opportunity by providing a safe and protected environment free from harassment.

... the school may do something then.

*There are some very good answers here already.* this is just one option.

This may sound crazy but my son is the same way and he gets picked on alot. I couldn't get the school to listen to me so finally I called one day very angry and threatened to call everyone including the paper I know I was going overboard but I'm a very protective parent. Well lets just say after I did that the teachers quickly did the right thing and started paying closer attention and realized I was right and they corrected the problem.

Try hiring a Shadow Teacher for a few weeks to observe and report to the teacher. That way she gets an idea of the dynamic and can then take steps to improve the situation. She can also help your son understand how to handle situations he may not completely understand.

Is he in any kind of behavioral treatment, (for his own good) or is there a medication he takes. I think treatment is key for him and the family so he can learn to read social behavior.

I understand wanting to put him in a school to mainstream him but in certain cases I really don' t think it is fair to them. We had a boy on our street that had the same diagnoses, he would break my heart to see him at school the way he was treated I volunteered a lot at school so I saw him a lot. My point is there has got to be a better environment for him. The school can only do so much. They really don't have the background in dealing with kids with disabilities of any kind. They went to school to get a teaching credential only. You want a teacher who has a heart for kids dealing with issues such as your son and who also love to teach. You can't make someone have a heart or the gift to teach and deal with your son's issue, and every year he will get a new teacher and then you are starting all over again. For your son's sake I would research a better envioment for him where he can not only learn but make good friends and learn how to make up for his inability to read social cues.

That being said if he has to stay in the school with the increase of bulling as a whole you may want to look into starting a bulling intervention program at your school. I am actually working on something right now but its in its infancy so it won't help you now. Start at the PTA. It sounds like the school needs more information about your sons condition and maybe even get the district phycologist involved, you will be amazed what is available to you in the public school setting. The phycoligist can help educate each of his teachers and how to deal with issues that come up. Act like you know more than you do and meet with the principal and tell him your being told that there is services available to your son and you want to discuss them with him or her and the district phycoligist.If you go to the public library there is a couple of books there (at least there should be) that talk about and give all the educational RIGHTS codes. Take someone with you who can help you go through them.For instance in the state of California, if you have a child with a sight problem or any sort you can demand a set of there school books in larger print. I still want to encourage you to see if there is something better for him

My son had this happen to him in his first year( prior to Asperger's diagnosis). The bullying he suffered silently,made excuses " I fell over" etc for bruises, without realizing he WAS being bullied because they said " tell anyone and you won't be our friend". It went on for months, how I wish had realised , he became so withdrawn and he didn't verbalise a word of it, because in his head it was kinda what friends did. The teacher la-belled him 'bad/naughty/spoilt only child/ etc etc'. Lucky for me, a couple of the other more 'street wise' kids went home and told their Mum that my son was being blamed for stuff he hadn't done, and that they thought it was not fair. I was straight on the phone that night to the head of our local education authority, told them that injuries were happening to my son and other children, that these were not being reported, mothers told told that their children were hurt, including a potentially serious head injury, it was all being covered up so that the school continued to look good in the stats and attract more pupils. The next morning, the school inspectors were all there and I went in, un announced, told my sons teacher exactly how disgusted I felt and that I was withdrawing my son from school, she was suddenly very keen to have my son referred for his learning difficulties....TOO LATE !

My son moved schools that week, and the change in him was amazing, going from a little (45) junior school to a larger(81) pupil one didn't phase him at all, bizarre for an ASD kid, but hey, he is full of suprises :o)

He is now 11, and a boy that has been here to play twice a couple of years ago, totally ignores my son at school suddenly wants to come and play as my son has a new smart Go Kart, My son has never been invited to play there ...he said this week " L only pretends to not like me at school, but really he is my friend isn't he Mum ?", I had to turn away .

We finally have a meeting next week and are being granted an IEP for him, for social interaction, although they have told me for the last 4 years that he is getting on really well in this area. I don't have an answer as it's our problem too, but I just SO wanted to offer support . We (UK) have the national Autistic Society, who are a mine of information on every single aspect of ASD, and Parent To Parent, an amazing organisation that tries to match you with a parent who has been through a similar experience. between them, they have kept me well advised since our diagnosis and supported us through some tough times.

my heart goes out to you and pray it works out.

Zoe x

Be annoyed, there is nothing wrong with that. Just stay calm and do not yell that is what is important. Your school needs to be more involved with what is going on.

thats pretty sad. but isnt that better than him feeling rejected and stuff?

my friend has asperger's though and he's depressed because he cant get close with his girlfriend....so yeah stop it before he realizes no one likes him. :( (although im sure a lot of kids really DO)