Does anyone else think this situation with my boyfriend and his mom sound like there may be some incest going?

Question

I am an older woman dating a younger man, I’m 45, he’s 29.  I met my boyfriend’s mother several times and although she is pleasant to me, I always got the impression she was jealous of my relationship with her son.  My relationship with him took off fast and we got close very quickly and he was always at my place.  All of a sudden his mom started telling him to stay home more, and he did.  Our relationship started to take a nose dive and I knew it was because of his mother.  

This memorial day we went to a cookout at his aunt’s house and I had not been a social situation with his mother before, what I saw BLEW ME AWAY.   His mother greeted me at the door introduced me to his aunt and then came and sat down next to me. This forced my boyfriend to sit beside his mom, not next to me.  When he sat down she quickly grabbed his arm, put it around her neck so that his hand was resting on her breast, then she began to rub his thigh and they engaged in a private “whisper-like” conversation.  I looked in amazement as his hand rested on her breast and she rubbed his thigh and thought “THAT’S HOW I TOUCH HIM!”  They totally ignored me.  This went on the entire time we were there.  If you walked in the room you would have sworn they were girlfriend and boyfriend.  I do believe his mother did this on purpose . .like it was a competition.  She felt jealous and threatened of me, and I felt so disrespected and her behavior was totally inappropriate.  If this is what they do in public what do they do behind closed doors?

DSL · Accepted Answer

Incest - I doubt it.  Jealousy - definitely!

I've seen a lot of relationships this way, but cause/effect is hard to figure out.  Is he single at 29 because his mom is this way?  Or is his mom this way because he was still single at 29?  Is she a single mom?  That seems to be the case a lot.  Or is he an only child?  Some people just can't let go - is she scared to lose him or is he scared to grow up and live an adult life?  

It doesn't actually matter which one perpetuates this type of relationship - they both seem fine with it and you are unlikely to change the behavior of a 29 year old.  So, your choice is to accept it and his mom the way things are or say goodbye now and let yourself find a man who can behave like an adult.

 I prefer the goodbye choice.  Sorry.

Cindy · Answer

Oh my god.  Did anyone else at the cookout give you the impression that they thought their behavior was totally inappropriate?  Whenever you get a gut feeling about something, it's usually a good idea to go with it.  Even if there is no incest involved here, their behavior is so off the wall it's ridiculous.  Remove yourself from this sick situation as soon as possible.  Better Luck Next Time.

? · Answer

Sounds possible, even likely>you don't say how old the mom is? Not being judgemental about your age differences but maybe he sees you as a mother figure anyway. It goes on, incest that is. I think you need to know for sure before you can handle what to do , how to respond etc. All the best.

kayels · Answer

thats just wrong

u may need to get rid for your own sake!

Anonymous · Answer

THEY F K BEHIND CLOSE DOORS

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Does anyone else think this situation with my boyfriend and his mom sound like there may be some incest going?

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