Need help with problem kids?

I think you are teaching the right stuff to your kids. Your kids will appreciate this when they get old. Don't give up. Sometimes you don't see the results soon, but realize that they are kids and they do stuff because they can get away with disobedience. However, your words will echo at the back of their mind when they grow up and, at that time, they will realize how good a mother you were.

I was a PITA (pain in the @$$) when I was younger. If they don't apprecieate anything then take their things away. cell phone, tv... If they do their chores then they get an allowance. If you have to tell them, then they don't get the allowance. Keep on them!!! Don't give up!!! this is a critical part in their lives and they need a mom not a friend right now. I wouldn't let her move out, she needs you. As far as them making fun of people, have them volunteer at a soup kitchen, or retirement home, or even with disabled people. So they get to know them as people not just people they can laugh at.

How about an OPINION on a daughter who is just getting over it.

I used to be the same way. I never said anything to show my appreciation for stuff from my parents, I never got along with them. My parents still have to remind me to do my chores. My mom used to have to remind me of everything! She still has to sometimes. And we fought like mad! And still do... sometimes.

She will eventually be thankful and respectful. What influenced me the most actaully was my friends. They were always being thankful and respectful to everyone. I wanted to be like them and that's when I started. So recently I've been putting in special effort to do more. But my mom didn't do that much about it.

So I would try seeing if her friends are thankful and respectful. If she has some that are and some that aren't then try and encourage her to go hang around the friends that are. Like allowing them to go over to the thankful friends houses, and hang out with them more.

Remember, that's just an opinion but its what effected me.

Honestly as the mother of four son's I have never experienced any of these behaviors. Never would I tolerate them speaking badly about anyone. Never would I tolerate them being rude to their elders "ever". I have always told them to respect their elders, if you embarrass me you will be embarrassed by me. If an elder has or does something to you that makes you feel disrespected then you come and tell me. I will handle it. Teachers and any adults that have ever come into contact with my children always compliment on how manner-able, polite and wonderful they are to have around. No they are not perfect but they were taught by me from a very young age, manners, respect and discipline. Teachers have always been aware if my children ever get out of line, call me or tell my children you will call me. That usually is enough to stop the fooling around. They have respect for me and do not want me to come to the school or anywhere in any adults presence due to them being disrespectful. I would not hesitate to light their butts on fire in front of anyone and everyone. So honestly I would say these are behaviors that have been going on; they did not learn these yesterday. You need to put your foot down, mean what you say. Take things away from them until they learn what responsibility and respect mean. Bottom line, who is the parent here? You must make them accountable for their behaviors and rudeness and let them know it will not be tolerated. I would never consider sending them to live with anyone; they are my children "good or bad". As a mother it is your responsibility to deal with the monsters you have created.

It sounds like your kids don't have the ability to have empathy for others feelings. I am a mom and I know I don't have all the right answers!!! I do feel that is one area, though, that my kids do pretty well in. I try to point out how other people "must feel" in as many situations as I can. Also, I would encourage your family to tell your kids how they feel when yours don't thank them for things. I would also encourage them to stop giving your kids things if they are not properly thanked.

As far as chores, it's a constant battle!

In all of this, I feel consequences are essential. No performance on their part means no rewards! With their callous comments, I think it is good to ask them to think of something that would make them feel hurt. Once they do that, remind them that this is how they are making others feel.

I hope this helps. You sound like a great mom for trying to get your kids to be good people to others and to you!

I'm not a mom at all, but I can tell they're learning this from someone. Not you, necessarily, but from other family members, friends, even TV shows! Try to find these sources and then limit them. Good luck!

your kids are the way they are because YOU ALLOW them to be.

if they are rude on the street you say, "don't do that" but YOU actually do nothing about it.

if they can not be polite and say please and thank you, it's your fault you don't MAKE THEM BE POLITE. YOU ARE ALLOWING THEM TO BE RUDE, DISRESPECTFUL AND INCONSIDERATE.

and rather than raising your children to be pleasant, respectful children you are willing to ship them off to a relative to do it for you!!! DISGUSTING!!!

you got pregnant, you chose to have children but you refuse to parent them!!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!