Should I contribute to a gift with the rest of my co-workers if I don't know the couple getting married?

Question

One of the receptionists who works in our office has a son who is getting married this weekend. I have never met him or the woman he is getting married to. They sent an invitation to the office and "someone" decided that we should all contribute $20 to purchase a gift card to one of the stores where the couple is registered. I will not be attending the wedding and have never sent a gift to people getting married if I didn't know the Bride or the Groom. The person taking up the collection stated that if we were to purchase a gift separately, we would probably spend at least $20. However, like I said, I don't know the couple and have no plans to attend the wedding. Can I tactfully decline to contribute? And what should I say when they come to try to collect again?
My feelings would be different if one of the couple were a co-worker or I at least knew one of them.  What would you do?

itsme! · Accepted Answer

Respectfully decline and don't feel badly about it. Office collections  are bad enough, but a child of a staff member?  And then being told how much to 'donate'?  That's where I would draw my line!    Just tell them you don't have room in your budget to fit in any extra bills this month.

Anonymous · Answer

I once worked in an office with 40 plus females and every single day there was begging for money for birthdays anniversaries, showers, going away parties, weddings, trips you name it and I ended up refusing any and all "contributions" because, IMO, it is a terrible nerve it puts people on the spot and NO ONE should contribute unless they WANT to and can afford it, otherwise smile and say I am unable to contribute PERIOD do NOT make excuses or apologies they have a terrible nerve to do that.

mj · Answer

If you think you could loose your job or alienate a good friend, then do it. Otherwise I agree with you totally that your shouldn't do it. If they come around again, say you have decided not to do this. I don't know who came up with this idea but I feel it is wrong and inappropriate.

Auntie Answers · Answer

Smile and say:  "I'm gonna send my own card" or "I'm taking care of that myself" and send the receptionist a card from the dollar store containing good wishes and nothing esle (empty).

ldp · Answer

Yes, you can tactfully decline to participate in such an activity

cutseypututaypie8 · Answer

yes

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Should I contribute to a gift with the rest of my co-workers if I don't know the couple getting married?

6 Answers