VCL

I work as a nurse in a doctors office. We use an electronic medical record system, so I spend a lot of time on the computer with documentation. I check patients into the exam room, do typical nursing care, and assist with surgical office procedures. I will have my right eye operated on first, then 2 weeks later, the left eye will be done. I'm concerned about how my vision will effect my work in the 2 weeks between the eye surgeries. (one eye with "good" vision and one eye with "bad" vision) I would appreciate comment from others who have had cataract surgery and can tell me from personal experience what to expect. Thank you.

My husband and I are regular customers at a small family-owned pizza and pub. When you visit this particular place, you place your order at the counter and get your own drinks at the fountain, and your own silverware. They give you a number and the staff brings your order to your table when it is ready. We get our own drink refills when we want them. The staff comes back to clear your table when you are finished eating. My question is--do we need to leave a tip for this? We usually leave about 15%, but when we go with friends, they say there is no need for a tip because this is like a fast-food restaurant when we order at the counter and get our own drinks. A lot of the time it is a different person bringing out the food, than the one clearing the table. I've tried to watch to see what other customers do and about half do not leave tips. What would you do?

Joe is my second husband. I had two sons with the first husband who are now adults (ages 25 and 22) I also have 4 grandchildren ages 6,4,2 and 1. Joe and I dated for 5 years before we were married. While we were dating he was hesitant to go to any family activities with me. Since we've been married (almost 3 years) he has gone to a few activities, like Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner. Not too long ago, we attended my grandaughter's school program. However, many times, he decides not to go. I try to be understanding, but I feel like today, he has let me down again.

My gandaughter's 6th birthday party is this evening and he has just called on the way home from work to tell me he won't be going because 1. the house where the party is at is too small, and there will be too many people there. and 2. He does not like bar-b-que.

Her party was originally going to be at the park, but the weather is bad, so it was moved inside. He knew two days ago they were planning to cook out on the grill and did not say a word. I say, he needs to be a little more flexible and spontaneous, and when we are invited to eat at someone's home, we eat what is provided without complaint or just don't eat there at all.

My family thinks that he does not like them because he skips out on a lot of things. He has no family of his own. No children and his mother passed away 2 years ago. When we started dating, I told him that I would share mine with him. It hurts that he never wants to at least go to the birthday parties with me. Any suggestions to help me not feel quite so dissappointed and angry at him for not even making an effort? Or do I just need to back off and continue to do family things without him?

My son is deployed in Africa with the Kansas National Guard. Fortunately, we are able to chat every so often through yahoo. I would like to be able to save and print those conversations for a scrapbook. He e-mails occasionally, but it is nicer to be able to talk with him in real time. Does anyone know of any way those conversations can be printed for me to re-read later? Thanks.

My son and his wife are both 22. They need a car and have found a used one they like for $3300. They wrote a check to the seller who agreed to hold it and keep the car until they receive their income tax refund to pay for it. Their refund was supposed to come tomorrow, but they got an e-mail today saying it was not coming until Tuesday, Jan 25th. (next week)

My son has called me twice now asking if I could lend them the money so they can go ahead and get the car. Two days ago, he said he needed it because the seller had called saying he had someone there with cash that was ready to buy that day. Now today he called again, telling me that their income tax was not coming until a few days later. (But the seller still had the car, the other buyer did not purchase it.)

I am reluctant to lend the money because other people have gotten burned by loaning money to them that did not get paid back. However, the last time he asked to borrow $20, he did pay it back to me as promised. I have given them small amounts of cash ($50-100) without expecting to be paid back. (and never got anything back, but that's okay, he's my son and I have the money to give him) However $3300 is quite a bit larger amount to not get back.

To complicate things, he will be deployed with the National Guard for a year, going to Africa, and leaving January 29. He wants to be sure his wife has a car to drive while he is gone. She totalled out the last one in a drunk driving accident last summer just before he came home from another deployment.

If he was your son, and you had the money, would you lend it to them? Or would you use tough love and have them be patient and wait until the income tax comes in? Thanks for taking the time to read and answer my question.

I am a nurse who works in a General surgery and Breast Clinic. I see patients before and after surgery, including patients who are undergoing treatment for breast cancer. Now, I find myself to be one of them. I am currently taking chemo for my breast cancer and will be losing my hair in the next couple of weeks. I think I am prepared for it. I've bought a wig and have a collection of caps, scarves and hats. At first, I planned on wearing my wig on the days I am working, but I've had a lot of people tell me that wigs can get pretty hot to wear, and with Spring here and Summer coming.... I have been re-thinking that decision. I will never go out in public with a bald head, but am planning on always wearing at least a cap. I am curious about what people really think about going in to see a doctor and have the nurse who checks you in wearing a cap or scarf to cover a bald head? Would you be concerned about having a "sick" nurse take care of you? One of my co-workers said she thought that my breast patients especially would probably really respect me. But on the other hand, if they are there to be told about a new diagnosis of breast cancer, would it make them feel worse to see a nurse and be reminded that they too, will loose their hair going through the chemotherapy?

Thanks for your time and thoughts to answer my question.

My husband and I went out this evening for a quiet dinner. It got ruined by another diner who was two tables away from us.

My mother-in-law passed away last March. The anniversary of her death is this weekend. My husband was an only child and his parents divorced when he was five years old. For all of his life it was just him and his mother. So naturally, he took her passing very hard. I know that the anniversary of her death will be hard for him.

After we ordered our dinner this evening, two couples were seated at a table two booths away from us. Before they even sat down, one of the women told the group that her mother had passed away in January. Then proceeded over the next half hour to give minute by minute details of her mother's last day. Including the hospice nurse's assessment of the situation and word by word of phone calls that were made on that day. After a few minutes of this, my husband excused himself to the restroom, was gone about 10 minutes and came back and indicated that he was ready to go. I was finished, but my husband left half of his dinner on the table.

I wanted very badly to go over and tell the women to shut up. No one in the restaurant wanted to hear all the little details. What would have been appropriate in this situation? Did the woman need to be told about how loudly her voice carried? I feel horrible for my husband who was subjected to having to remember his mother's last days. (She died at home with hospice and my husband taking care of her.)

How would you have handled it?

My husband I I go out to dinner once or twice a month with another couple. He has been friends with the husband for about 30 years. We enjoy their company, but there is a problem. Generally, each couple pays for our own dinner and leaves our own tip. My hubby and I leave between 15-20%, more if the service has been exceptional for our meal. The wife of the other couple leaves their tip and takes care of their bill. However, she always leaves just $1 or $2, regardless of the price for their meal. Last night, their meal was about $25 and she left $1.00.

What surprises me, though, is that her parents owned a restaurant when she was growing up and she worked as a server there.

I am embarrassed by this, because we often return to the same place to eat within a few weeks. My hubby and I leave our tip on our side of the table. A time or two I have added to the tip she leaves after they have walked away from the table. But like my husband says, we should not have to do that. I keep thinking that they will eventually get the hint when my hubby and I leave a more appropriate amount, but so far that hasn't worked. Any suggestions?

My son has a 4 year old daughter. He is no longer in a relationship with her mother. He has tried many times to get back into the relationship, but they only stay together for a few weeks. Well, the last time they were together, she told him she was pregnant again. She treats my son like dirt and when they split up the last time he told her it was for good. He had talked with an attorney about setting up some regular visitation for his daughter and the baby that is coming, but they decided to wait until after the baby is born before they serve the papers on her to go to court. The children's mother does not know papers are coming. My son has spent several months thinking that the second child is his. But the doctors keep adjusting the due date. He questioned the mother, who finally admitted that she isn't sure who the father is and they will have to do testing. She was with another guy just before she and my son got back together the last time. And then when he moved out, the other guy moved back in within 2 weeks. My question is--how do I as the possible grandmother deal with this situation? On one hand, I feel sorry for the girl, although I know she put herself into this situation. I have given her baby clothes for the baby boy due to be born around July 4. It will tear my heart out if I bond with the baby and later find out that it is not my grandchild. Or if I don't make an attempt and then later regret not trying because it turns out to be my grandchild.

My questions: How soon can a paternity test be done and how quickly do you get results? (I'm sure she will be wanting to collect child support, so a test will have to be done anyway) I've told my son, not to agree to have his name on the birth certificate or sign any paperwork until the test gets done. The other potential father is a married man.

Another question--If you were in my place, how would you handle the situation?

Thanks in advance for the suggestions and advice.

Do I need to delete stuff from others that show up on my page? Like the daily updates of what they are doing? If so, how do I do that? Or does that stuff eventually get deleted. Also, how do I add pictures to my page? Thanks for your help.

One of the receptionists who works in our office has a son who is getting married this weekend. I have never met him or the woman he is getting married to. They sent an invitation to the office and "someone" decided that we should all contribute $20 to purchase a gift card to one of the stores where the couple is registered. I will not be attending the wedding and have never sent a gift to people getting married if I didn't know the Bride or the Groom. The person taking up the collection stated that if we were to purchase a gift separately, we would probably spend at least $20. However, like I said, I don't know the couple and have no plans to attend the wedding. Can I tactfully decline to contribute? And what should I say when they come to try to collect again?

My feelings would be different if one of the couple were a co-worker or I at least knew one of them. What would you do?

I work in a doctor's office. One of the receptionists has a son who is getting married this weekend. I do not know the son or the woman he is getting married to. Today, one of the other receptionists came around taking up a collection for a gift for the couple getting married. She stated that everyone was giving $20 and it would be used to purchase a gift certificate to one of the stores where the couple is registered. I have never given a wedding gift or attended a wedding if I didn't know either of the couple getting married. My question is; Am I obligated to contribute to the joint office gift for a couple I do not know? (and I am not particularly close to the groom's mother who works in the office) Would you contribute under these circumstances and if not, what can I say to nicely decline when they come around again to try and collect?

Additional info to consider: some of the other girls do know the bride because she worked with them several years ago (before I came to the office)

Also: we employees usually remember each other with a monthly birthday dinner and other ocassions. I got a gift card from my co-workers when I got married last August. However, when my mother-in-law passed away in March, they didn't even acknowledge it with even a card or plant. For that reason, I am having difficulty about whether or not to contribute for a wedding gift when I don't even know either the Bride or Groom.

My husband's mother died in March and we inherited her home. Since there is no mortgage payment, we are planning to move into it. However, there is a lot of work that needs to be done. One of the first things is a retaining wall between his and the neighbors property that is falling down and needs to be re-done. We talked with a contractor who gave us a bid of around $10,000 to take to wall down, excavate part of the back yard, put in gravel to make an off-street parking spot for our second car, build a new retaining wall and put up a privacy fence between the two houses. We are having trouble agreeing on what would be the best way to pay for it (with our economy the way it is today)

Details:

1. We have no personal debt, owe no credit cards, no loan payments, and now have no rent or mortgage payments. Our only bills are the routine monthly utility bills.

2. Our combined take home income is $3400 a month.

3. We have approximately $5000 in savings.

4. His mother left him about $50,000 in an IRA, a money market account, savings bonds and life insurance.

5. We both drive cars that have over 100,000 miles on them and are 9 and 10 years old, and he found out last week that his needs transmission work, so I think it would be better to replace the car instead of paying the estimated $2000 it will take to fix it.

I honestly don't want to touch the money that his mother left him, but would like to leave that for retirement savings.

In this, economy, I think we need to leave the savings account alone.

I know we could afford a home improvement loan payment, but would that be the best thing to do?

Anyone have any good suggestions or advice on what, in our situation, would be the best way to pay for the work that needs to be done?

Thanks for your imput.

We have been married 8 months, both in our 40's. His mother passed away in March at the age of 93. He was an only child and has inherited the house that he grew up in. We are planning to move into it at the end of this month. It needs a lot of remodeling work done. but that's not the major problem. The problem is that his mother saved everything. Every drawer, closet, dresser and cabinet is full to the brim. The house is small anyway, but I can't get my husband to part with anything. At this point, we do not have room to move our house of stuff into that house.

I knew it would be difficult for him and I tried to help by going through some of the stuff, but he is afraid that I will throw away something important. She kept stuff, like bill receipts from the day she moved into the house 40 years ago. Of course we have found some treasures, like the hospital bill from when my husband was born, old family photos from the 1800's, mail addressed in 1928. But we have also found a lot of stuff that we have thrown away. (aluminum foil plates from TV dinners, plastic and glass food jars, etc) He has donated her clothing to charity. But the other stuff, he is putting into plastic totes that he is refusing to store in the basement or put into a storage unit. So now, we have totes stacked everywhere in a one-bedroom house. (Still no room to move "our" stuff in.)

I had a moving sale at the place we rent this past weekend to get rid of some of my old furniture and household goods. I planned it several weeks ago and told him that we could put some of her things in for sale if he wanted, but he brought nothing. When we started going through her bedroom, we found 4 rocking chairs under stuff that was piled on them. My husband also has 4 VCR's and several telephones there and won't get rid of even one of anything.

It's very overwelming. The house will be fun to remodel and fix up, if I could convince him to at least move her things to storage. I know we need to go through things carefully, because when we went through one closet, we found almost $1000 in cash that she had stashed away in old purses. But instead of going through things now, he is putting everything in the totes and says he will go through it later "when he has time". In the meantime, the house continues to be very crowded with all the totes, but he is upset with me because I won't move anything of ours in. NO ROOM! I'm thinking of moving anyway and when he sees how crowded everything really is, he will move things into storage. But it would be so much easier to move it now. Plus I will be embarrassed to have the people who are going to help us move, see the house in that condition. I've tried to be patient, because of his mother's passing and to give him some time. I even offered to stay in our rental a couple of more months and help with the clearing out. But he is insistent that we move now, so we won't have to waste any more money on rent.

Any advice?

My husband's mother died in March and we inherited her home. Since there is no mortgage payment, we are planning to move in this month. However, there is a lot of work that needs to be done. One of the first things is a retaining wall between his and the neighbor's property is falling down and needs to be re-done. We talked with a contractor who has given us a bid of around $10,000 to take the wall down, excavate part of the back yard, put in gravel to make an off-street parking spot for our second car, build a new retaining wall and put up a privacy fence between the two houses. I am wondering about the best way to pay for it (with our economy the way it is today).

Details:

1. We have no personal debt, owe no credit cards, no loan payments, no car payments and now no rent or mortgage payments. Our only bills are the routine monthly utility bills.

2. Our combined take-home income is $3400 a month.

3. We have approximately $5000 in savings

4. His mother left him approximately $50,000 in IRA, money market account, savings bonds and life insurance.

5. We both drive cars that have over 100,000 miles on them and are 9 and 10 years old, and he found out last week his needs transmission work, so I think it would be better to replace the car, instead of doing the work.

I honestly don't want to touch the money his mother left him, but would like to leave that for retirement savings.

In this economy, I think we need to leave the savings account alone.

I know we could afford a loan payment, but again, would that be the best thing to do?

Anyone have any good suggestions or advice on what, in our situation would be the best way to pay for the work that needs to be done?

Thanks for your imput.

My mother-in-law passed away this past weekend. I know that we need to send thank you cards to people who sent flowers or made charitable donations in her name.

Do we also need to send a thank you to people who have sent sympathy cards to our home?

My bridal shower was yesterday (Sunday) and the wedding is on Friday of this week. Everyone who was at my shower will be at the wedding. If they decide to give a gift both times, can I write one "thank you" note, or do I need to write two? My shower gifts were all personal for me (like "honeymoon attire") But the wedding gifts will be for both of us. I don't mind writing the extra notes, just wondering if I should. Thank you for your opinions.

I'm just curious. We are getting married next Friday. When we went to get our license, we got a surprise. My fiance's cousin is the Recorder of Deeds at the courthouse where we had to go. When she noticed that we were there in her office to apply for the license, she ended up paying for it ($51) as a wedding gift to us. I thought that was really nice, and made an unusual, but practical gift.