Can someone tell me a biblical story that is not complete nonsense?

I got one.. It`s about this guy that traveled across the desert and the ocean opened for him -OH CRAP! THIS ONE IS NONSENSE TOO!!!-

Well what about the one in which water turned to wine was that Merlin?

Sorry, can't think of any :(

OK.

Well, there's the one near the beginning about the guy made from dirt, then god puts him to sleep, then takes one of his ribs...oh, wait, you said *not* complete nonsense. Forget that one.

Let's see, there's the one about how all the people of the world spoke the same language and were building a tower that could reach to heaven out of mud bricks...nope, never mind, scratch that one.

Oh, I know, how about the one about the jesus-god guy who wants a fig, comes across a tree that, despite it not being fig-bearing season, has no figs and so curses it and kills it...oh, shoot, that one doesn't work either.

Ah, well..no, I guess I can't. Sorry.

They are somewhat entertaining, though.

Peace.

New Testament Gospels and the parables taught by Jesus.

"love one another as I have loved you" - that is not nonsense.

The Old Testament is not all "nonsense" it's just that not all parts are meant to be taken literally (like Noah).

The book of Ruth was pretty cool, as were the stories of Judith and Esther. These were mostly historical events.

Four Boys in Babylon

KING Neb·u·chad·nez′zar takes all the best educated Israelites away to Babylon. Afterward the king chooses from among them the most handsome and smartest young men. Four of these are the boys you see here. One is Daniel, and the other three the Babylonians call Sha′drach, Me′shach and A·bed′ne·go.

Neb·u·chad·nez′zar plans to train the young men to serve in his palace. After three years of training he will choose only the smartest ones to help him to solve problems. The king wants the boys to be strong and healthy while they are being trained. So he gives orders that his servants should give all of them the same rich food and wine that he and his family receive.

Young Daniel says to Neb·u·chad·nez′zar’s chief servant Ash′pe·naz.. Daniel is telling him that he does not want to eat the rich things from the king’s table. But Ash′pe·naz is worried. ‘The king has decided what you are to eat and drink,’ he says. ‘And if you don’t look as healthy as the other young men, he may kill me.’

So Daniel goes to the guardian that Ash′pe·naz has put in charge of him and his three friends. ‘Please put us to the test for 10 days,’ he says. ‘Give us some vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then compare us with the other young men who are eating the king’s food, and see who looks better.’

The guardian agrees to do this. And when the 10 days are up, Daniel and his three friends look healthier than all the other young men. So the guardian lets them continue to eat vegetables instead of what the king provides.

At the end of three years all the young men are taken to Neb·u·chad·nez′zar. After talking to them all, the king finds Daniel and his three friends to be the smartest ones. So he keeps them to help him in the palace. And whenever the king asks Daniel, Sha′drach, Me′shach and A·bed′ne·go questions or gives them hard problems, they know 10 times as much as any of his priests or wise men.

The End. And I mean the back of the book, not Revelation.

Boat and animals? Hhm! Where have I read an older story than Noah, perhaps it was the Epic of Gilgamesh.

I don't think the bibles stories are based off of facts I think they are stories told to teach lessons... and that whole believe or burn thing came from a hypocrite... you can't say that and consider yourself a loving christian... love your god, your self, and your NEIGHBOR with your whole heart, mind, and soul... Ignorant fool... Believe it or not its just a book.

GENEALOGY OF THE LORD AND SAVIOR [ Christ Jesus ]:

Adam son #1, Noah son #10, Abraham son #20, Isaac #21,

Jacob #23, Judah #24, Pharez #25, Hezron #26, Ram 27,

Amminadab #28, Nashon #29, Salmon #30, Boaz #31, Obed

# 32, Jesse #33, king David #34, Ruth 4:18-22; 1Chr.3:

4,9-17; Rev.22:16;

Yr/Sons-ages-life-kings term--BCE Kings Name, Scriptures.

Yr/2989,K.00-d.00-40-1117-1077-BCE Saul Acts 13: 20,21;

Yr/3029,K.30-d.70-40-1077-1037-BCE David 2 Sam.5:4,5;

Yr/3069,K.29-d.69-40-1037-0997-BCE Solomon 1Ki.6:1; 11:42;

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NEXT 391 YEARS TO BABYLON:

Yr/3086,K.41-d.58-17-0998-0980-BCE Rehoboam 1Ki.14:21;

Yr/3089,K.40-d.43-03-0980-0977-BCE Abijam 1Ki.15:2;

Yr/3130,K.19-d.60-41-0977-0936-BCE Asa 1Ki.15:10;

Yr/3153,K.35-d.38-23-0936-0913-BCE Jehosaphat 1Ki.22:42;

Yr/3161,K.32-d.40-08-0913-0905-BCE Jehoram 2Ki.8:17;

Yr/3162,K.22-d.23-01-0905-0904-BCE *Ahaziah 2Ki.8:26;

Yr/3168,Q.00-d.00-06-0904-0898-BCE *Athalia [ his mom],2Ki.11:3;

Yr/3208,K.07-d.47-40-0898-0858-BCE Jehoash 2Ki.12:1;

Yr/3237,K.25-d.54-29-0858-0829-BCE Amaziah 2Ki.14:2;

Yr/3289,K.16-d.68-52-0829-0777-BCE uzziah 2Ki.15:2;

Yr/3305,K.25-d.41-16-0777-0761-BCE Jotham 2Ki.15:33;

Yr/3321,K.20-d.36-16-0761-0745-BCE Ahaz 2Ki.16:2;

Yr/3350,K.25-d.54-29-0745-0716-BCE Hezekiah. 2Ki. 18:2;

Yr/3405,K.12-d.67-55-0716-0661-BCE Manasseh. 2Ki. 21:1;

Yr/3407,K.22-d.39-02-0661-0659-BCE Amon 2Ki.21:19;

Yr/3438,K.08-d.39-31-0659-0628-BCE Josiah Son #48, 2Ki. 22:1;

Yr/3449,K.25-d.36-11-0628-0617-BCE *Jehoiakim 2Ki.23:36;

Yr/3449,K.00---18-00-0617-0617-BCE Jehoiachin Eze.1:2;

Yr/3460,K.21-d.32-11-0617-0606-BCE *Zedekiah 2Ki.24:18;

Judah kings end, year 3460, 2614 years ago, at 2009 CE. Chr.36.20-23;

Jehoiachin Eze.1:2, 2Ki.25:27-39, Jer.52:31-34, 14 generations to

Christ Jesus.

Jehoiachin son #49, lineage of Joseph, husband of Mary, the lineage

David's son Nathan. Matt.1:1-17; N. T. goes back to Genesis and above.

There will be no king until king Jesus at his 2nd coming [ 606 BCE,

John 3:13-16; now at 2009 CE ], that was 2615 years ago [ of the 2670

years given by Daniel, Matt.24:3,7,14,15,21-24,34,36 [ God alone knows

day and hour ], all other time is given to Rev.20:1-6,7-10,12,13; no

Satan 1000 years. Rev.21:1-5. All are alive, 1Cor.15:22-28, all made new.

01. Adam son #1.

02. Seth

03. Enos

04. Cainan

05. Mahalaleel

06. Jared

07. Enoch son #10.

08. Methusaleh

09. Lamech

10. Noah

11. Shem

12. Arphaxad

13. Salah

14. Eber

15. Peleg

16. Rue

17. Serug

18. Nahor

19. Terah

01. Abraham son #20.

02. Isaac

03. Jacob

04. Judah

05. Pharez

06. Hezron

07. Ram

o8. Amminadab

09. Nashon

10. Salmon, Daughter, Naomi and Ruth

11. Boaz

12. Obed

13. Jesse

14. David son #34.

01. Solomon 997 BCE

02. Rehoboam

03. Abijam

04. Asa

05. Jehosaphat

06. Jehoram, Ahaziah, Athaliah and Jehoash

07. Amaziah

08. Uzziah

09. Jotham

10. Ahaz

11. hezekiah

12. Manasseh

13. Amon

14. Josiah, Jehoiakim and Zedekiah 606 BCE

01. Jehoiachin, 14 generations before Christ.

02. Salathiel

03. Zurubabel

04. Abiud

05. Eliakim

06. Azor

o7. Sadoc

08. Achim

09. Eliud

10. Eleazor

11. Matthan

12. Jacob

13. Joseph

14. Jesus, son #62.

If you had read the bible and cross referenced with history, science, archeology and so on you would have found more then you are prepared to dell with....But please don't take my word for it..spend the time researching...it will make many of your questions mute.

the 10 commandments

it did even turn into a movie

When Harry Potter killed the Dark Lord.

Oops...wrong, storybook