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How can I trust my bf if looks at comic porn?

I've been dating my bf for several years now, and we always get into a major fight when it comes to porn. I absolutely hate it and each time I catch him and we fight, he'd say he'll stop, but a year rolls by and I catch him again. It hurts so much each time, and I feel like the resentment just grows and I find myself questioning whether I can really trust him. At one point, I resigned to the idea that boys will be boys and I shouldn't get worked up about it; I even told him it was okay with me, but things just got worse. He looked at porn practically every chance he got, and ignored my need for intimacy. He would criticize my body and my self-esteem plummeted. My resentment grew even more. I told him how I felt a couple years ago and made it clear that if he doesn't stop, our relationship was over. He took it seriously that time and promised that he'd stop, but just a few months ago I caught him jacking off to some video! I was so pissed, I called it off... but after a week, we got back together again. I'm still not sure if I made a right decision taking him back. Unlike the other fights, he seemed to have changed a lot. We live together and it seems like he's more responsible. It doesn't seem like he's been looking at porn, but then again he's an aspiring artist. He likes manga and comic art, particularly the ones with half-clad women. The images are so sexualized and degrading. It bothers me, but I don't know if I should say something. He says he wants to improve his art, but I don't know if this reason is just a ploy to gratify his need for porn. He gravitates to those images whenever he's online and saves them on his computer. But it seems like instead of working on his art, he's on the internet collecting those images. I haven't seen him draw anything for awhile. Has anyone dealt with a similar issue? Or if you're an artist or guy, can you share your POV?

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Porn isn't the issue here.

    The fact that he insults you and makes you feel crappy are what's wrong. The fact that he denies you intimacy.

    Who cares about the porn - you think getting rid of porn will magically make him a good guy? Good guys watch porn - bad guys watch porn.

    He is dead weight.

    Is this really who you'd thought you'd be with? Really? Is this how you saw a loving relationship? You can do better - stop wasting time.

  • 5 years ago

    2

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  • 1 decade ago

    He has a porn addiction and you have gave him the choice to quit or you will leave him and he still looks at it. I am sure he looks a lot more than you think and suggest it is time to end the relationship since your warning was not take seriously. Also you can not change him only he can and if you break up with him on the condition that if he gets professional help you will consider getting back together in 6 months or so. The reason your threat did not work is that you did not do what you said you were going to do. Just for your information porn addiction is like any other addiction and is not that easy to quit, he can not just stop he needs help.

  • 1 decade ago

    Like you said, boys will be boys.

    I'm pretty sure most guys will watch porn if they can, but not just guys.. girls do it to. So don't be to hard on your boyfriend, its not worth breaking up over.

    I used to watch hentai and i never even thought about it bothering my girlfriend until she saw it on my computer. She was alot like you, completely hated it, found it degrading and after a lengthy talk, i promised i wouldn't look at anymore, and haven't since =)

    Of course, your boyfriend shouldn't be hiding it from you, and he should stop if he tells you he will. Although, he might have a problem, as many people are addicted to porn. As for him criticizing your body... that's not very nice at all. You should give him a good smack =P

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm actually pro porn but what you typed here...

    "looked at porn practically every chance he got, and ignored my need for intimacy. He would criticize my body and my self-esteem plummeted."

    ...makes this guy either an addict or a total loser.

    I don't think you'll ever change him.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I think porn is terrible and brings bad vibes into your home and relationship but this lady I worked with was having the same problem...and she had had so many guys cheat on her, she was happy to have someone with a small fault like that. It is harder I suppose for men to stay faithful and if that is what helps them stay on track...then whatever.

  • ScSpec
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    The problem isn't the porn. The problem is that you can't let go of a guy who is an insensitive jerk who criticizes and insults you, ignores intimacy and lies to you.

  • PD
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    He needs to dump you ASAP. YOU have a problem. You are not comfortable with human sexuality, and living in some sort of fantasy world.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago
  • 1 decade ago

    GUY ADVICE: he's gonna look at porn especially if you wont give him any. just like any other guy. sorry but i hope this helps.

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