am I a mean person? Help!?

G If you are empathic, it is not coming across to others.

My experience with the same problem has not gone away. It has gotten a lot better since I learned to bridge the gap between individual and collective. There is a term in Japanese called Myoho that sums up the inseparability of individual and collective. It also means the physical and the spiritual and the known and unknown and the tangible and intangible. English doesn't have one term that sums up so many indivisible aspects of life. Myoho is a concept spectrum. For effect, you need the whole deal explained in MEME.

Make Efforts More Effective

Generalist -April, 24, 2009

You can believe what others tell you and you can learn through your own study and observation. The two are not opposite, but different uses of consciousness. Learning is a better use of consciousness than believing and a clear, well informed, mind makes your efforts more effective.

It is great to accumulate knowledge, and greater to find beneficial uses for it, yet, the vastness of the universe, and our ignorance of it, preclude knowing everything. It is also not necessary to know everything.

To function much better than usual and optimize life, start by observing what you can see and systematizing it. Then remove all the repetition and all the advice and everything you were ever told is true. Keep only what is verifiable. What you wind up with is that things change. Causes produce effects and life is both tangible and intangible. The fact is that if you choose to guide your life by those simple observations, you will be way ahead of almost everyone. If you want to package those concepts into a system, use the following observations. It is necessary to:

Focus intention – NAM-. Understand the basic relevant realities like the inseparability of tangible and intangible-MYOHO. MYOHO is also the union of the physical and universal that everyone is seeking in religion and inventing different names for.

Realize that causes produce effects-RENGE. Understand that change never stops- KYO. This is motion and continuity-like a river. No one is stuck.

Reciting the formula that includes all of these basic realities in a short form produces results. Why? It works because the human mind is heavily biased toward language. It’s in Japanese because the topic can’t be expressed as succinctly in another language, and its originator lived in 13th century Japan.

This process clears the mind for greater comprehension. It is not magic, it is cognitive exercise. It doesn’t replace focused effort toward your goals. It makes those efforts more effective.

Put your palms together and recite the formula for a great life (Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.) It works better when you find a support group at SGI. This summation of life's realities is the basic truth which anyone can use to enhance life. The dichotomies and contradictions disappear as fast as you allow them to.

What have I gained since I started to use this formula?

Unknown artistic ability discovered. That ability led to success.

Rebuilding of an unhappy, isolated, paranoid, chain saw personality to being a middle class nice guy with all the friends I want.

Money is much better.

Professional ability is much better.

Met and married the woman of my dreams 16 happy years ago.

Comprehensions added.

The comprehension required to help hundreds of people change their lives to happy success. Success as they individually defined it

Source(s):

1) Nichiren Daishonin, by way of Daisaku Ikeda

2 )http://www.sgi.org/ –for a variety of reasons, some of the terminology used in some writings of SGI sound religious, but the intention of the founder was that people uncover their inherent enlightenment without requiring any outside agency.

I think those are good characteristics! You should say what you feel and be ballsy. And taking crap is no fun at all. You have to stand up to that! :) If your friends said this about you, they would probably also tell you if they thought you were mean. I can't really say if you are or not because I don't know you, but even if they thought that, that would just be who you are. Your friends obviously still like you, because of who you are. Don't change! :) You can still be a kind and empathetic while being a little harsh sometimes.

Maybe you get away with it b/c you have tact while expressing yourself that way. I was known for those same attributes you listed while at my job and was always called on for very sensitive personnel matters b/c I was told I could do all the above that you mention with tact.

I didn't even work in personnel. I was in data collection/statistical analysis. But I'd get called out from my work bays to speak with a woman who had bad PERSONAL hygiene; a lady who always smelled like cat poop & had those stains on her clothes; a man who ate his nose pickings; a woman sitting on plush company furniture who had started her menstrual cycle unawares.

This was not my job training, but everyone knew that I could discuss any subject and still leave a person feeling whole.

Unfortunately, I lost patience with tact as I aged. After a lot of years, stupidity can really eat your last nerve. But I saw this fault in me & I've been trying to get the tact back.

I think that wanting to be an empathetic person shows your ability for it. Speaking the truth does not mean you don't understand what it can be like to be on the receiving end of that truth. Use truthful words with compassion. That seemed to be the key that worked for me.

Nah, you're not being mean. I'm like that too and my friends often call me cold. I personally think i would be doing a great disservice by not telling the person exactly how i see it.

There was a moment where i felt crap because of how i interact with people but after you think about it, does it make a difference? If you really were a ***** would they hang out with you?

Talk to your friends and ask them personally, If you want to come out nice then lie.

It sounds like you're not mean since you care enough to ask this question. A mean person doesn't care how they come off. You may be perceived as mean if you have an aggressive or confrontational style. These attributes could mean you're honest, confidant, and have a high level of self respect. It could go either way. I suggest talking about this with your friends.

Here's the better meaning for B*TCH Being In Total Control of Herself now if someone thinks or calls you one just say Thank You yes I am in control Stay who you're I'd rather have you tell me honestly what you think then what I want to hear. It's easy to be a sheep but not a leader Be proud

No, you are not mean. You are human. Be who you are, and don't try to change yourself. People who cannot accept you for you don't matter in the course of a lifetime. Only the ones who care for you do.

you sound like a bit of a bytch but that's not a hard thing to change. i've never heard someone describe someone as 'blunt' without also thinking they were a bytch or ******

I don't see what is wrong with that. You shouldn't change to appease others.

Embracing being a ***** like I embrace being an asshole.

Only accept positve energy from others and yourself