How do I help my husband/veteran while helping myself.?

GodsGeneral's is rite there you are not alone in this, Good luck, God Bless. Oh and thats 2 points for me

Hi. I didn't see the other questions, but I'm sorry you're going through this.

Don't take this the wrong way, because I admire vets as much as the next person, but you might be getting a bit too caught up in the whole "vet" angle and not focusing on you and your kids, which is what matters here.

For example, you didn't mention seeing an attorney, and this is the most important thing right now. Find one who will work with you on payments, but you need to do this. You have a case about the money he took, but it won't return on its own. Even if the account was in his name you still have rights to a big part of it, since you're maintaining the kids.

His friends and family don't count any more, other than for your kids, but if they can't understand this, there's not much you can do. And as for your family, I really don't get that! There has to be someone on your side in all this. Seek out people who support you and simply avoid those who don't. But get with an attorney.

I have a spinal cord injury and nerve damage and some parts of my body feel as if they are on fire at times and you know what have always worked full time. My grandfather had sever arthritis where it actually disfigured him and he worked full time for 60 years.

So seriously there is no reason what so ever that you can't work full time.

If you love him beg him to take you back if he won't will then I guess your screwed. I am not taking his side I know the military and I do know how a spouse gets screwed over it happenes everyday.

There needs to be more to protect the members family not just the member but until that day comes there is nothing really you can do.

You can apply for housing and leave the house and go after child support as well as other benifits and if you think your to messed up to work apply for SSI.

i don't know what else to tell ya other then if your husband was a threat to him self and others he would be in jail or a mental ward. That's probably why nobody is taking you seriously.

"I have PTSD from him and all I get is, well, nothing."

Don't EVER make such a claim. PTSD is NOT something you can say you "have". It's a diagnoses, and is just like saying you have type 2 diabetes or Chron's disease without any claim.

As for your mention of Canada.... First off, you're not in Canada so get over it. Second, how many veterans, let alone veterans with PTSD do you see that are Canadian?

Bottom line with your situation. You're in between a rock and a hard place. There's not a whole lot you can do besides wait it out. In the beginning you said you were the one that ousted him. Since you're stuck with the bills, I'm guessing you're either a stay at home, or make little income. Those are also things you should have taken into deeper consideration before pressing charges.

You claim that it's the "government's fault", that they don't listen to the pleas of women... Have you ever stopped to think what you did for your country in order to deserve their ear? I don't think you were the one risking life and limb. The military didn't turn its back on you, you were never entitled to benefit from the military in the first place.

Suck it up, move on.

To start with, you do have options of welfare services that are available to all members of the general U.S. public.

It sounds as though you yourself may qualify for disability pension, SS disability and/or SSI. You should apply immediately.

You and the kids should get used to living with less. Get used to the food bank and other charity organizations. File for legal separation so his income that you do not have is not counted against you.

Second, research the divorce and child support laws in your state to find out what you are entitled to from his income and resources to support your children.

Third, I suggest finding other military spouses who have experienced the same thing (I don't know how you would go about finding them, but surely there are some support groups online somewhere for military spouses) and teaming up together to hunt for a lawyer who will sue the U.S. government on your behalf for not providing adequate counseling and PTSD treatment and recovery services for veterans and for their spouses and children.

Fourth, you do not have to give up your marriage if he can calm down and be reasonable and agree to separate living arrangements until his PTSD is managed and recovered enough that he is safe to live with others. Right now, he is not safe to live with others. He should hate this, but he should know it is true and work with his spouse for an arrangement that will allow you to save your marriage over time.

If you cannot afford separate living arrangements, you should both keep in mind that he is better off being homeless and coming to visit you and the kids than it is for him to be in the house everyday and the PTSD symptoms worsening so that he is indeed going to become violent against you, the kids, and/or himself.

With PTSD, he has to find a balance between alone time and time with his loved ones, and he has to know others understand the disorder and do not judge him for it. But he also has to understand the disorder and admit he is not safe in the home with you and the kids. He must avoid stress of all types and he needs a lot of time to himself to pray and go back through the war in his mind and put it behind him.

This is the horrible horrible cost of war for those who survive through one. They will never be the same, but he can be better, he can improve, but it is going to take time and patience.

If you are still married to him you are most definitely entitled to all benefits that he is receiving this is the LAW! Don't worry about what everyone else is saying it's time to take care of you. I don't understand where you think the military routed you. There are grave consequences for soldiers who don't take care of the dependents.Try this site. Good Luck.

my husband have been in the military 20 years and PTSD is a subject in our household all the time. i know of guys who pulled guns towards their wives, got abusive and are in anger management. this is not a subject to be taking lightly so i dont know why people on here are so cruel against you.

you need to protect your life and your children and thats what you are doing.

i understand how terrible it is when your friends/family is turning against you. when my husband chocked me and kicked my butt, my mother asked if i may caused his actions. talking about support....

its very sad to read about your situation and it seems very difficult.

this isnt much help, just felt the need to write....people here dont have a clue.

that is awful! i wish i knew how to help, but i do care.

good luck to you!

go right to social service and explain to them and you will get help he cant be doing this to you.