Terrible twos before turning 1? Need help to save sanity!?

If there's something I've learned as a new mommy, over the course of the last year is to cut way down on 'no'... after a while, saying no over and over and over again kind of loses it's efficacy. It's just another word. Although children understand the concept of 'no' from about 9 months onwards, it's still a word that should be used in moderation. Instead of saying 'no', just say "we don't play here," and redirect your son's attention. What my son really enjoyed doing at that age was 'unpacking' things. So, if we had a difficult day I'd get a big bowl or something from the kitchen and filled it up with little items from around the house. An empty yogurt container, some spoons, egg holders, little plastic bowls and cups, some old bulky jewelry I had no attachment to (cheap stuff I use in my dancing) even empty toilet rolls... things we see as everyday and mundane are new and interesting to babies. He'd unpack the container, and it would sometimes keep him entertained for an hour or more.

What you can also do, is get a floor level cupboard in your house/kitchen and fill it with non-breakable things - allow him to unpack that cabinet only. Babies love to explore, and giving him a cabinet he can unpack and explore will certainly keep him entertained. That way, he can satisfy his need to explore and learn, and you have set him some clear boundaries... change the items in the cupboard around every so often.

As for the food. This is normal behavior in any emerging toddler. My son would go days without eating anything of substance (in my opinion). At 15 months, he was still drinking more milk than eating solids. Rest assured, this will change - my son is now 21 months old and eating me out of house and home. He's also now just a tad bigger than other boys his age... so obviously his months of 'fasting' didn't do him any harm.

Again, you should allow your son to explore his food and play with it... this is a normal learning process. Give him 20 minutes with his food - if he's still not eating after 20 minutes, take it away without making a fuss and let him go play. At this age, playing is more interesting than food. I know it's a pain to clean it up, but I'm afraid that's just another part of the process.

Everything else should fall into place from here on out. My son had similar little tantrums from about 11 months onwards. I found that redirecting his attention, giving him more 'freedom' to explore (within my boundaries) and giving him a few more structured play times during the week (to learn how to draw, play with paper, kicking his ball around, etc) resolved most of his tantrum issues.

Your son is still a baby, and learning a lot of new things every day. What your son wants right now is to learn and explore. And while I understand your frustration, remember he's not doing it to wind you up but trying to find his feet as a normal, functioning human being... take it one day at a time, if you have to, restructure your activities on an hourly basis and just go with your son's flow. And remember they do want boundaries, so make sure that he has clear, easy boundaries to follow...

**ETA: As for the clingyness, it's normal at this age. Sit on the floor with him and play for a few minutes. Play a simplified version of 'hide and seek' with him so he'll know that when mommy goes 'away' she'll come back. Try to make it as much fun as possible. I'd hide behind a couch, talking all the time and using my 'play' voice... I'd jump out behind the couch and say "Here's mommy!" - it was a hit with my son... he's now starting to hide from me, which isn't quite so much fun :) Just find something similar your son enjoys more - if need be, start by covering your face with a cloth or blanket of some kind and do the peek-a-boo thing.

Good luck.

First of all. Relax!

Babies go through stages. He sounds like he is just being clingy and not too hungry and exploring. Give him plenty of love, plenty of stuff he CAN get into, and don't stress about the food too much. Remember there are times where your baby realizes that you and him are not one person, that when you leave you are really gone. It makes them very anxious. Play peek-a-boo with him so he learns that you will always come back.

Just calm down, roll with the punches, and things will get much better. He's only 1. Really, how much have you leanred in a year? He's learned so much, and is still learning. Don't force him to be more mature than he really is.

Try offering him foods often, a veriety of foods. Also, if his whining and crying and not eating continues, talk to his doctor. he could have a tummy problem.

Don't punish him. He's too little right now. Just take away anything dangerous and let him play and be a baby!

oh boy! this all sounds to familiar. my boy was alot like that. i think some of it is kids like perhaps ours the ones that learn to get into everything and have a sense of adventure and independence more than other kids at that age that are just sometimes harder to deal with, cause there still very much tiny babies yet there doing the things of a 2 year old or so and it just doesnt match up right so it kinda tends to throw things outta the loop, as for the appetite thing and inconsolable crying sometimes i would bet on teeth, hell they can cry from weeks at a time b4 u even see site of a tooth. good luck and ur baby will be ok and try not to pull to much of hair out, if it provides any ligth at the end of ur tunnel they do at least get a little more manageable. my boy didnt calm down till he was about 3 and a half. hes 4 now, but still is ridiulously independent for his age

Well you know what they say your child is 10 times worse than you were when you were a baby or when they hit there teen years.

All you can really do is put up with it and be a little more strict. When a baby is that young there is not a whole lot you can do, they may no right from wrong but that does not mean they are going to listen like a 6 year old toddler would.

Your baby knows how to work you. if your baby throws a fit your baby knows that there going to get attention.

He is just going thru what I call a phrase mine went thru this and now he is a wonderful 2 yr old. I would however limit your "no" I don't like that word and its extremely negative, move him away and play more with him. I know its frustrating I really do he could be cutting new teeth or coming down with a cold. If he wants to cuddle, cuddle because before too long he wont want cuddles anymore.

I have read and re-read Dr Green Taming Toddlers please read it its fantastic.