I'm not sure what to do? Marriage question?

I think you are lucky to realize that you want out so early in a bad match. When the sex goes the marriage goes. Your subconscious is getting rid of him for you by making you un-attracted to him. You probably got married for the wrong reasons and he sounds like a loser. Esp if you are doing more of the bread winning than him. Remember men in America (if you are in the US) make more money than women statistically and the world over. Few women are happy in a relationship where they make more than the husband. Sorry to be so mercenary but it is true. Thank your lucky stars that you got out of the marriage before you wasted anymore of your life and make sure you choose wisely next time. Life is too short to be unhappily picking up after a lazy nare-do-well. If you must stay with him tell him that you get turned on by him cleaning the house and working on his career. Tell him if he doesn't want to clean house he better get a job that can pay for you to have a great cleaning service.

I'm reading this and trying to figure out why you got married in the first place. Was it to replace something or someone in your life? If you sound this mean on this post, I can't imagine how you actually are at home. Do yourself a favor. Stop being selfish and really consider getting a divorce. I normally don't say this but a divorce after one year is better than a divorce after 10 years and two kids. This sounds like you don't want the marriage to work and again wondering what this man did to you for you to make him so miserable.

Also it sounds like you are a very unhappy person. If you are not happy believe me you will never ever be happy in a relationship with someone else

Give him a copy of your answer question.It speaks volumes. Maybe once he sees in writing just how unhappy you are he'll tighten up and get his act together, and a better job. There's nothing embarrassing about getting divorced after a year. You tried and life is to short to be miserable.You only get this one!

From what your saying why would you care about your hubby's feelings or his being crushed it's his problem now. Whose happiness matters to you most.Your either a part of the problem or a part of the solution. Best Wishes& Good Luck.

I have been married for 6 years and let me tell you we have plenty of ups and downs. There were points in our marriage where I had said I was losing my attractions for him because he was more like a child then a husband. He is getting better about helping out around the house and also about our budget that we have to stick too. Sometimes I do have to remind him but it is better. I also stopped being physically intimate with him at points in our relationship and all that happened is that we got further away from each other. Being intimate with each other is very important in a marriage.

I know you dated a long time before you got married, but it sounds like you didn't really know him.

I don't understand how you could date someone for so long and not know what their like?

You made a promise to your husband and to yourself. It doesn't sound like you're going to break it right now, but it sort of seems like you're looking for someone to tell you to.

I think you should try marriage counseling. I have never in my life seen a marriage fail that both partners weren't to blame.

Please try to make your promises work. There will always be bad times in a marriage, but the idea is to make the good times out weigh the bad.

Actually, I know many people who got married and found the first 2 years the hardest. I don't think they understood the amount of change they each would have to make for the other and the compromises they would have to make.

Try counseling, but don't go with the view to fix him. Go with the view to fix yourself.

Well, you should talk to him and tell him about things you don't like in your marriage. Talk to him in nice and clear words, no drama, no bad emotions, but also be firm and stand your ground.

I can understand about money - and if he earns substantially less than you, you do have a right to expect him to work on his life and make it eventually get somewhere, mac jobs are for students, not for grown-ups and not for life.

Also, one should live within his means. If he doesn't earn much, he can't give himself right to spend much.

Also, he should take care to do things in ways that take less money. For example, getting a VoIP setup - a VoIP adapter (which you connect to a normal phone) or a VoIP phone, and an account, would enable him to talk as much as he wants for very little money. (And with some providers, you can even use it with a cell phone, when you want to talk long distance or international through your cell phone, instead do a local dial and the rest goes through the internet)

My point wasn't specifically VoIP but that it's everyone's duty to find ways how money and/or resources he/she uses can be used more rationally.

I admire that you are willing stick it out, how long is that going to be? Also for the wrong reasons. Perhaps, maybe you need to talk to a doctor. Sounds like you could have an adjustment disorder. Living with someone is hard to get use to. After that then if you are truly unhappy, get a divorce.

Wow. I would hate to be your husband. Sometimes marriage just takes a lot of time to adjust to. I mean, it is a huge life change and any change gets some getting used to. Maybe you should talk to him about the money, and if you already have, do it again. Maybe you could try to go on dates to try and bring the romance back.

My marriage was a little rocky in the first year too, I guess it's just new stresses and not everyone is prepared to handle it together like they should. We went thru a terrible seperation, and yet ended up back together in about 6 months. He moved back in and we worked it out - been together very happily now for 7 years. My advise to you is to seek counseling before you call it quits. I know it can feel like there's no hope for it - but trust me - it's absolutely worth it to try, and it sounds like you'll really need professional help to figure out if you guys can hack it. good luck. <3

My first marriage lasted only a year. It took awhile to find Ms Right but it has been 20 years now. Don't let what some one else likes or dislikes stop you from being happy. They will get over it.