please tell me what you think? (long history)?

Grandma,

You know that I love you, that goes without saying. Just wanted to make it more clearly for you what I met when I said that I am done. I met I am done trying to fit into your idea of family because I have my own ideas and meanings, I had a heart to heart with you about how I felt left out and how you claimed to understand although I went uninvited two times, I gave you and example when I texted you when you were in Nevada. It was harmless there was no offence to that text. How dare you, how ******* dare you talk to Ron about it or sue, behind my back its so juvenile those actions are trashy and garbage I was out raged to get that voicemail he would not know to say anything or defend you if you had not said anything, I knew you would not own up to your actions further more you never apologized in fact your fueled it by adding I never invite you or go out of my way. If you choose to see what you want to in your failed attempt at manipulation then go ahead. I feel you lie and brain wash yourself into believing it always playing the victim in everything, always the center of attention. Fine grandma, play the victim tell every one how bad I am I will never have to deal with your hurtful action again. If that makes me the bad guy then hey, I am used to it from you.

You guys cancel me out and add brain I bet you seen more brain then you seen me. You had dinner with him I said fine, and then you go to the snow? 2 in a row??? You were not going to tell me till I saw the pictures 4 months later. You forget about that? Because you made an excuse on why it was not with me. That I looked forward to those things!!! He is my replacement in your twisted fantasy, or your thoughts on who is “good”. No matter what I do for you or my dedication on making our family work I am the bad guy. Take note, I said I would clear time for you any day I work form 7-4 Mondays - Fridays but some how its always when I am working. I am left out of everything with you. “You do so much for every one” that’s all you hear form every one, don’t forget so much is done for you. Just because you do so much for every one when you are a bad person or being a bad person its still inexcusable. Good deeds do not account for bad ones.

Your reasoning was if you put me off the problem would go away you said that. But, BUT the problem is not solved. I have reasons when I have problems. I tell you those reasons, I do a wonderful job of explaining why I feel the way I do you pretend to understand or care. You just don’t listen because it’s not about you. The games you play, never showing me respect, always taking credit for everything. Done. I am tired of explaining, tired of telling tired of wishing you would invite me. After begging for so long then you dangle a carrot in front of me knowing I am desperate by that time for you’re your affection. I am not a taker, I am not a liar, and I don’t play games.

You need to think about the things you do to me and the things you left me out of the way you handle my feelings, the way you treat my problems. The way you handle me if you ever think we have a chance of having a bond or me speaking to you ever again because I will not take any more for you or any one. I am not going over all the details on how you hurt me. Remember I forgive but I don’t forget, you never learn from any of the damage you do to me and then repeat the problem, I didn’t forget. You blame other for the problems I have with you.

I am sick and tired of the stress that generates off of just trying to fit in and be there for some one who obviously doesn’t want me, but you don’t want to look like the bad guy so you throw me a bone once a blue moon then tell every one to make you look better because you care about what others think of you more then you actually caring, life is not a stage but you act all the time. Tell who ever you want grandma to get your sympathy to make people feel bad about how I am hurting your feelings how its not fair to you. Because you’re the only one that ever gets hurt right?

I am not trying to control your life I am done with your life. Tell Ron that.

Tara.