Help, Don't know what to do?

Question

I married five years ago and had been separated from my husband for 19 months. During this time I dated someone else with whom I got very attached to. We had sexual intercourse and the whole thing, and I think I am in love with him.

Two weeks ago I decided I was going to go back with my husband and try to work things out because we have a 17 month old baby and because we married through church and because my whole family is pushing me to do it. 

But now I can't stop thinking about the other guy, I miss him so much and don't enjoy having sex with my husband anymore. I wish and am daydreaming about the sex with the other guy. Can anyone advice me on what to do?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My god you sound so much like me!!!!!! Read mine!!
Put yourself first and think about your future and how you want it to be can you see yourself with your husband in 10 yrs time? does he make you laugh? make you feel good? pay you compliments? do you enjoy his company?
All of the above DO matter.......is it really whats best for your daughter getting back with him if her mummy is miserable??  Dont waste your life,go and be happy, a happy mother equals a happy child, good luck xx
And by the way sex is extreamly important in any relationship!!

Lee B · Answer

You already know the answer, get a divorce, THEN, go back to your other lover.  If you do not enjoy sex with your husband, he will be able to tell.  This will lead to other problems, which lead to other problems which usually lead to divorce.  Why not skip the 1 or 2 years of misery and handle the situation now.  It is your life, not your families life or your church's life either.

gwen s · Answer

Sex isn't everything - I once was read about "great sex in the wrong relationships"... Do you love your husband and are you ok with the idea of not spending the rest of your life with him? Is he meant for you and you just need to work through some minor details? I know from my experiences that it seems that we leave one relationship and find that one thing that was missing; whether it be passion, communication,or just compatability. We search out that void but overlook the big-picture.

? · Answer

Tough question. Ask yourself how you feel in 10 years from now if you leave. I would give him (your husband) the benefit of doubt. You can always leave later, but I wouldn't leave because I was in love with someone else. I would only leave if the marriage wasn't working and I was miserable.

jhnny_greene · Answer

Go back to the other guy.  You will never be happy having feelings and thoughts for the other guy.   The baby is not a reason to stay, nor what others say.  IF you love the guy go to him.

Pebbles · Answer

go back to the other guy. you are never going to be happy with your husband if you are thinking about the other one all the time. believe me i know, ive tried it. I had the same situation as you. It didnt work.

Anonymous · Answer

your in love with the other guy - drop the husband - and go with the one you really want

iyamacog · Answer

Oh if one would only THINK before rather than after the fact.  Please seek counseling in attempt to remove the lust from your brain....â¥â¥

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Help, Don't know what to do?

8 Answers