Actual Newspaper Headlines?

Cool!

That is soooo funny!!!! LOL!! Here's one for you:

Spotted in a toilet of a London office:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a London Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an London office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE

DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a London secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT

BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in London health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a London conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY

CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Notice in a field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE

BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET

LESSONS

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR THE BELL

DOESN'T WORK)

---------------------------------------------

People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with

their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the

world.

At a Budapest zoo:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO

THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctors office, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco:

THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT AND SEE THE

MANAGER.

In a City restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO

On a string of fairy lights:

FOR INDOOR AND OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

(Damn, I wanted to put them in outer space.)

In a Norwegian bar.

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In an airline ticket office in Copenhagen.

We take your bags and send them in all directions

In an African hotel.

A room with a view of the sea or the backside of the country.

Alright mate

That is the funnest joke i have heard on here all day 10 out of 10

Keep them coming your cool.

I love the last one lol

May you have a happy life.

that was funny.

hahahahahahahahahaha lmao lol hahahahaha rofl star for you

its funny how society it today. a part of me wonders if it was intentional.

OMG, I don't know if you are looking for an answer, but thanks for the laugh....tears and all. I really needed that today!

i think i may love you :'D

im actually almost crying hahahahaha!

NICE! x

lol those were great