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What can I do about my fiancé's jealousy?

My fiancé doesn't like me having friends that I'm attracted to, but I'm homosocial as well as same-sex attracted, so my group of friends and the group of men I find attractive are bound to overlap a bit. I won't let him control whom I choose as friends. Now that one of these men who falls into both categories (friends and those admired) has been hired by his employer, my fiancé is threatening to quit his job, which is the only job we have. This issue and his mood swings are the only things coming between us, so I don't want to lose him over this, but I can't live with this crap. I've tried talking to him about it and assuring him that I wouldn't leave him for any of these men, especially since all of them are heterosexual, but his jealousy continues. What else can I do?

5 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you're still only engaged and you're so strongly attracted to other people that it's becoming a source of tension, you probably have some issues to work out before you tie the knot. I know a lot of people are really opposed to anything involving the words "therapy" or "counseling", but it probably wouldn't hurt to talk to someone together, in a controlled environment, and work things out with the help of an outside party.

  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe you need to break off the engagement? Not saying you don't want to marry him any longer, but maybe that way he will realize how seriously his actions are affecting you. You need to sit him down and talk with him. Don't have music on or t.v. playing in the background. Let him know this is important to you, sit down with him face to face. You need to let him know how important he is to you without you criticizing him for his actions. Maybe there is something else bothering him that you do not know about? Maybe there is something else you are doing or have done that he hasn't had a chance to communicate with you about. There are sometimes unknown sources for hostility. Does he really not like these specific guys? Has one said or done something to him personally?? If it's all men in general, then until he gets used to you acting the way you do around other people, this will cause a burden in your relationship until the two of you can reach a happy medium. It will take time, hard work, and patience from the both of you to work at this, and it won't happen over night. Hopefully you can understand this yourself as well as help your partner learn this practice too.

  • 1 decade ago

    Jealousy and mood swings are two things to give serious thought to before marrying. These things never improve but increase with marriage. Take it from someone who knows.

    Good luck dear one but think long and hard before committing to marriage.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    That's messed up. You and your fiance need to work it out. dont ask people online.. oh and by the way it's not his fault it's yours your going to marry him so you have tto be loyal and find new friends.

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  • Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Be loyal to your guy, and well, stop being attracted to other men. Just stick to your MAN.

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