Is it normal for my husband to prefer watching porn over having sex with me?

thats not normal unless he is a sex addict, which seems quite possible in this situation. maybe he wants you to be freakier. you should really try talking to him because its not fair to you or him if you dont communicate the problem.

You know ages of you and him on these types of questions are really important. I'm guess with a 7 and a 3 year old your both in the mid 30's? So your in your sexual prime and he's slowing down. I believe its typical for a male in his 30's to go to porn. Once a male has has a decent amount of sex he gets bored and looks to not only other body types of women than your body type but also different sex acts than the norm.

Fact is porn is free and readily available. The more hotter the females he sees the less likely he's gonna want sex from you. Back in the old days most porn was just print and usually the females were of a typical body type. Now if a guy wants to see a 60lb 5'3 anorexic girl or a 500lb fattie he can find it, also all types of videos are available to help a man "see" his dream sexual acts. We men want to do some pretty nasty stuff to women and very few women will even consider it. These days most females of all ages want to be in porn the second they hear about it. This is hard to explain I'll just say most girls dream about being in porn and see getting sexually explicit pictures/videos of them done are a right of passage.

My advice to you is to go thru his collection look at all the pictures and see what kinda sex acts he's into and tell him you want to do those sex acts with him.

Judging by the questions I see on here on a daily basis, I would say that it was normal. It certainly isn't right but preferring porn to sex is common question/topic on here.

From what I gather in talking to male friends of either mine or my husband is that it is much, much easier and less time consuming- not to mention energy saving- to watch porn and masturbate than to have physical sex. It makes total sense to me. I'm not justifying it but I get it. Watch your guy while he watches it and/or beat off and note how many times he physically moves. Usually, the only thing moving is his hand, with an occasional pelvic thrust, but usually nothing more than that. When having sex, except when he's on the bottom, he ALWAYS has to keep his hips in motion whether it be fast or slow.

Porn preference to sex was never a problem in my marriage but we've had other problems that we had to overcome. How about you get on top every time you have sex, throughout the whole act? Maybe it will give you some perspective and come up with solutions to make it enjoyable for all involved. My husband and I have done this for experiment sake so that I could understand what it was like to always have to be the one who does the bulk of the work. It isn't easy and after about two weeks, I began to get some perspective. Sometimes, it's much easier to just sit there and wack it.

I dont think he means to hurt you. Try to watch it with him when yall have the time. Let him know how you feel about it. Tell him that before he sits down and watches porn, to try being with you first. All that should help a "normal, healthy" man cut back on porn watching. I will say, cut back. Dont get mad if you see him watching porn sometimes. It happens. My husband does. Not so much since i did all these things, and also when i find out he did , i laugh in such a way, that embarrasses him about it now. I just tell him to wake me up, and sometimes, I tell him to let me sleep to go watch a porn. LOL! Compromise, and find a balance, thats all. Good luck! Please dont take this the wrong way. Of course I dont know you so i dont know your situation. BUT, I can tell you what caused a lot of problems in my marriage. ME BITCHING!! Now granted, what he did, because I nagged constantly was aweful. Lying, cheating, lying cheating, watching porn, just not wanting to be with me. We decided to not give up and work on it. I asked him to stop doing this and that, and lying and cheating and stop playing video games so much. made a huge list. He asked me to stop bitching and whinning. Thats it. And i did, for the most part. so, now, he doesnt lie, he has no need to, he wont get in trouble. he doesnt cheat, he doesnt need that either, he doesnt watch porn unless its with me. Youd be surprised how a little less bitching can make a world of difference in your relationship. men dont understand half the stuff we complain about, they dont understand, they dont think that way. SO, if you think you might be complaining a little to much, my advice would be to stop any conversations youve been discussing, immediately. No more trying to make him understand how you feel about things, and just start all over from scratch, and see how that helps.

Was it always this way?

He dropped out of the marriage at some point in the past and found his own entertainment; or rather rekindled his single-life-style entertainment.

It took you three years? seven years? to notice that?

It's not normal to prefer porn but don't assume it's sololy his problem.

Maybe he's an addict... maybe it really is better. Sorry.

Are one of you fixed or are you on birth-control?

Sex with condoms is not real sex.

At some point in the past was sex on your terms only? i.e. once a month or so when you were interested in it and you reject him the rest of the time? We notice; we resent it. Persistent rejection is toxic over time. The porn never says 'not tonight', 'not now', 'I have a headache', 'I'm tired', 'maybe tomorrow', etc... It is no longer worth the emotional investment to approach you. It is easier to accept a sexless marriage than constant rejection. This is fundamentally a /trust/ issue and is not easy nor quick to repair.

You need to reconnect with each other and he might have a lot of negative feelings piled up by now, no doubt you do too.

Your first answer said it is totally unnatural but then 60% of the married women on this form have asked the same question so it is about as unnatural as breathing. When guys get married part of their brain shuts down. A Stanford researcher discovered this. Part of what shuts down has to do with sex. Not sex in general just sex with you. You parade a naked female in front of him he will jump at the chance. My suggestion, which this forum doesn't like, is find a good swingers club. You will get what you need, he will re-awaken and your sex life will pick up. Good luck.

If you are unhappy with your marriage your are better getting out of it. It will also be good for your 7 and 3 year old. They probably know and don't like that there mom is unhappy. Also your teaching them a bad lesson in life. You should get out of your marriage and move on, find someone better or just be happy on your own, well with your kids.

You are in a tough situation.

Your husband is an addict. He needs help. You need to confront him with the truth--that you are unhappy, thinking of leaving him, and that his porn addiction is/has ruined your marriage.

No man needs porn. As you have now experienced, porn is absolutely poison for a marriage. The fact that he is "unaware of you" is a great indicator of how messed up your husband is.

Confront him now, lay down the law. It may be painful, but if you want your husband back, you need to fight for him and get him to seek help.

If not, many times porn addiction--like drug addictions--will take you along for a very unpleasant ride that usually ends in very destructive ways.

Confront him and challenge him. If he loves you, he will want to seek out help. If not, well...

NO! You are not being harsh by feeling betrayed. I know exactly how you feel, Ive been through the same thing. It's like being cheated on....with porn. I would simply ask him to stop for a month because he may have a porn addiction. If he can stop, then he would be showing an effort to save your relationship, if he says he'll try and he messes up a few times, I would seek a sexual therapist. If he flat out refuses, make plans to leave, because obviously, he doesn't care about your feelings. You also have to look at it like this....your children are learning about relationships from their parents, do you really want them to always treat their significant other the way he treats you, or vice versa? All I can say honey, if you're unhappy, don't waste any more time with the loser! Be happy, and raise happy children! Good luck!

The line, "My life is the kids and his is playing video games and watching porn." is just about the silliest thing I have ever heard. Here is what I think, you are looking for justification to have your husband get rid of some thing that is his, his porn collection. YOu see no good in anything and are trying to control the situation by using the collection as the root of the problems. Go in the bath room, look in the mirror and ask your self is there anything YOU could do to make the situation better. See, the one person you can not lie to is yourself. Get it?