I traveled until......a poem to critique?

I lived in Oklahoma once...

Love this poem ma, and although I haven't seen all the wonderful places, or done the adventurous things you were blessed to have seen and done, we share the feeling of having the universe opening up to us after discovering the net and opening up a new world of friends all over the globe.

This poem does NOT suck. It's quite good. Your only error was that you changed "tense" in the middle of the poem. It should hold the same tense throughout. You started out with the "present tense" and this is how it would read with minor revision to hold it to the end. It's actually a great piece, has something poignant to relate and you've done quite well with the imagery you've used. Don't short change this one, it's a keeper. This is a great write!!! I'm so close, I'm almost there fingers reaching through the air just one more inch, just a little bit more; then the star will be mine, for all to adore. My fingertips graze the edge of the fire and let my heart fill with desire; but I feel no heat, no scold of the sun as my fingers curl, one by one. I pull down my fist, but no star is inside; I feel all my dreams wither and die. Reality hurts, it's bitter and rough It'll never happen, I'll never be close enough.

I stood under Dunn's River Falls myself. Jamaica is a beautiful place.

Ditto on the military life like Semper Fi.......although mine were not as exotic.

I was exposed to agent orange in the Panama Canal Zone!

It's a great poem Ma!!!

I really like this, Ma. Nothing's better than finally settling down and realizing what wonder people you've met along the way.

Irony, the Great Revealer.

What a life. I visit them vicariously.

Ah the net, who would have thought we would gather here to meet new friends.

Wonderful poem. Thank you for taking me to places I will never see.

I've been jailed in sixteen states

extradition from one I still await

If a warrant forces me to hide

I'll knock at your door hoping you abide

Ah!

Sometimes meeting people on the 'net

can be "a whole nother" journey...