Does teaching your spouse a "lesson" ever really work?

Probably pretty pointless. Nobody basically is going to change their ways. Yes we can all assume that "teaching them a lesson" will help but in reality it really consumes more time and effort. If you cant come to a happy medium then just leave the "lessons" alone. Its pointless.

Really that depends on the people involved and the situation.

In some cases, for example a cheating partner or abusive partner - when the other one leaves for a while or gives the belief that they are leaving, it can change the other person - some cases for a little while and other cases forever.

If its a situation of chores, some people (unfortunately) don't mind living that way and it may not change them one bit. Of course, they will notice, but if it doesn't bother them, then does not good.

I think that honest communication is the best way to reach someone. If you don't communicate what is on your mind or bothering you, how do you expect the other person to make an honest effort and bettering themselves or making a realistic change.

Personally, I don't believe in "lessons", due to the fact that if you stop doing something to "teach a lesson" rather than sitting down with them to explain to them the situation, are you really any better than them. In some cases, this can make matters worse, cause in retaliation they may try to "teach you a lesson".

It all boils down to how strong your relationship is and how well you are able to communicate and trust each other. Honesty is the best policy!!

Good luck.

I think lessons only work for the little things like chores or remembering to unroll your shirt sleeves when you put them in the laundry or rinsing your plate so the person doing the dishes doesn't have to pick gunk off with their fingernails... Both of which I have helped my husband learn to remember. But for the big stuff like cheating or being appreciated. ::shakes head:: Pretending to leave for a couple days only makes it easier to walk out for real. And that's not good for the relationship if every little fight seems like it could be the end.

Maybe if you are still children when you marry.

Around 18-20?

I know when my wife left for a couple of weeks the lesson I learned was I did not need her as much as I thought I did. (I wasn't the one that got a lesson.)

You are probably much better off negotiating for change.

My husband of 5 years is always trying to teach me a lesson. As a result, I get more mad at him. I tell him, I am not a child, that you are going to teach me a lesson or punish me. Punishing me makes me more mad and shows how immature he is towards me.

No they just add to the drama and trust me guys hate drama . Your only dumping more fuel to the fire .

NO what you see is what you get