Other women do not seem to like me (Im a woman also, and married) all I want is some other gal pals?

Question

Maybe it's just me..Im a girl and other girls do not like me for some reason?
Okay, I will just put it like this. I am MARRIED :) Me and my husband have other married friends. 2 of his friend's wives cannot seem to stand me. I am actually older than them, and do not know why they are still acting like they are in high school!!

I have one child (terrible two), I work, etc.. so I have lots on my mind usually and stay pretty busy. I have been through ALOT within the past few years (lost both of my best friends one was a murder, the other an overdose) found out I was adopted after 19 years, mom passed away from cancer, both grandparents died, and got married and had a child. So, I really do not have time for childishness!!! I feel like I have been through enough within the past five years and I just want to be happy!!

I feel like the last thing I need is MORE negativity. My husband's wives always give me nasty looks, and one of them acts really jealous when I talk to her husband... (I would never try anything with another man, I am DEEPLY in love with my husband) so I do not see why she would act that way. She doesn't act that way around her other friends and they actually flirt with him, I do not. I do not get people like that!! I don't care if other women talk to my husband, hell, at least I don't look at them like I want to cut their throat!! You should see the looks this girl gives me, they are unreal and she makes them obvious in front of others!! One time, she gave me such a nasty look that her husband actually had to call her out on it in front of all of us... So, I really do not understand that type of behavior.

Okay, there is also another situation like this: I have a friend who always has to make sure her husband is not around when I come around. But, I know for a fact she does not do this with her other female friends, so I wonder why she singles me out. One time, he came over here to see my husband while he was on his way back from the store. His wife called me and sounded disturbed, told me to go outside and make him sit in the car until my husband got home....she also kept me on the phone until my husband got home... So, that was just a little funny to me. I mean, i figured he was going to wait anyways. I wouldn't let another man into my house while my husband was gone anyways! But I just think it is silly how some people react. Especially when they are supposed to be your "friends"

My question is, how should I feel about all of this? It's kinda hurtful. :(

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Females can be really stupid.  What about these first two women?  Are they a wolf pack?  Have they been together as couples for a long time?  Are they considering you an "outsider'?  If this is the case, (or even if it isn't) kill them with kindness and try to totally ignore their husbands. If the husbands initiate conversations with you, blow them off. Most guys don't even notice this stuff, much less care.  Ask the wives questions about their lives, and try to be interested. Act like you really care about their answers even though it may be an act.  They may never be your best friends, but would you really want them to be? Regardless, at the very least, it may make you feel less uncomfortable around them. Unfortunately, most of the wicked witches from high school carry their insecure behaviors around them for life, and if they're lucky, they have daughters who carry on the tradition.  

The other one who told you to put her husband in the car sounds like a real idiot.  Certainly not someone I'd call a friend. Maybe her husband has cheated on her before, or maybe she's just overly possessive. Who cares?  That's just weird behavior, and not your problem. Deal with her when you have to, but I'd say to steer clear whenever possible.

 It sounds like you are pretty stable, so I'm guessing you don't have any history of husband stealing.  I'm also guessing you have something extremely positive going for you, whether it's a great personality, looks or both. Otherwise, these women wouldn't be peeing on the trees to protect their "property".  

Obviously you have to deal with these people since they are your husband's friends and you can't totally shut yourself away from them.  But think of the traits that your two best friends had.  (Sorry to hear about their deaths.  This can't be easy.)  You owe it to yourself to find others like them, even with your busy schedule.  You've been through enough.  Get out there and find some decent, secure women friends so you can tell them these crazy female stories and get a good laugh.  You deserve it!

coldrain · Answer

1) Not everybody gets along, so it's perfect normal for some one not like you because of your "attitude".  Deep down we are all judgmental. 

2) The reason could be what their husbands said about you to their wives. Are you a good looking woman or for whatever reason that something about you the husbands found attractive, perhaps?  

3) These women are not your friends, so stop trying to join their inner circle.  Make your social network is bit broader and I think you will find a true friend.

*Dana* · Answer

It sounds like you have either done something that you do not realize you are doing to these people's husbands or that they have heard something about you, possibly from their husbands (that maybe your husband told them in confidence) that makes them prejudge you.

I personally do not feel comfortable with my husband being alone in a conversation with females, married or not, even though I know we are in a  happy marriage. The exception is that the  female is someone I know VERY VERY well. 

So make your own friends. You don't have to be friends with your husband's friend's wives.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree that does sound hurtful.
You need to find a female buddy, some times that is not as easy as it appears.  Run an ad on Craigslist looking for a workout buddy, or a chatting buddy, anything to open you up to new friendships.
Good luck.

redwidow · Answer

I can't make friends with women either. I have always wondered why they don't like me. I swear they think their husbands/boyfriends are going to want me or something. I don't pick up taken men.I do say hello to everyone I meet.

LivingMyLife · Answer

I wouldn't worry about them just be yourself and if they still don't like you them tell your husband yall need some new nicer friends and it he loves you he wouldn't mind giving them up to see you happy

? · Answer

If they act that way, they are not your friends, just stay away from them, this kind of people usually make stories, you'll find true friends but not them.

Cheesebrady · Answer

you must be doing something wrong. no one on here can tell you what that is.

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Other women do not seem to like me (Im a woman also, and married) all I want is some other gal pals?

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