Asking for a gift back?

I think he's way in the wrong. A gift should be freely-given and you should not have to feel like whether or not it is yours to keep is dependant upon whether the relationship remains intact or not. That was never a gift if it had strings attached.

Obviously, if the ring had been an engagement ring, I would return it, as that is one instance of a gift that does indeed have strings attached. I would also return to him anything that had sentimental value (eg family pieces he may have passed on to you). But other than that, I think the gifts you were given should be yours to keep.

If he wants them returned though, I would consider that if he feels like that about it, I wouldn't even want the stuff. I just wouldn't crave anything I wasn't welcome to have. Right or wrong, I'd pack it all up and send it back. Not because you have to, but because there's no material possession that could be worth having him hold it over you the way he does.

In answer to the etiquette issue, you are in the right, and he is in the wrong.

But to consider the bigger picture, I would hand over the stuff anyway. Your eagerness to hand the 'gifts' back over would undoubtedly deflate him. He's using them to manipulate and hold power over you now. I wouldn't allow it. I wouldn't even deign to argue about it. I would rid myself of the stuff and let him have it. It's a cheap way to relieve yourself of a very heavy burden ... him!

This happened to me as well.

I was so irritated because it was only a necklace and was worth about 40 dollars.(omg thats nothing)

I cannot believe he wanted it back.

It was a birthday gift and he kept bugging me to return the necklace because i was never in love with him.

In my opinion once you GIVE a gift you CANNOT ask for it back

Unless it was a promise ring.or Engagement then i could understand but other than it shows that he isnt a MAN and im glad hes an EX.

They only ones who ask for gifts back are kids.

and hes obviously acting like one. Anyways,'

Since he kept bugging me about the necklace i was so tired of hearing him complain therefore i just gave it back so i wouldnt have to deal with him. And ever since i gave him the necklace i have not heard anything from him.which is exactly what i wanted.

If he will leave you alone then although he SHOULDNT ask for it back you should just return it. it looks extremely greedy on his part. but oh well.

BEST wishes

You are correct. The only time you would be obligated to return a 'gift' is if it was an engagement ring in that case not a real gift but one given under the assumption that the 'contract' would be fulfilled and that would only be returned if it was prior to the marriage happening or in the case of a family heirloom. If any of it was an heirloom, even not an engagement item it should be returned.

I agree that it's tacky, but I would just give the items back to prove that you don't care about the items and are ready to move on. What I would suggest is that if you agree to return the items on the condition that he agrees to never ever contact you again. He sounds like a douche bag, I would just let him have his pathetic gifts back - that way you won't be reminded of him and you can be the bigger person. Hope that helps!

Well at least he's asking instead of suing. Regardless, a gift is a gift and once it exchanges hands it's all yours (and vice versa). What you have now is yours, and what he has now is his. If you want to do a mutual exchange it's up to you, but you're not obligated to do anything.

About etiquette, I wouldn't ever ask for a gift back that I gave to someone.. I don't care what the circumstances are, I personally don't believe in taking back something or feeling regret.

Etiquette requires one should not be so mean to ask for the return and once it had come to that level the same etiquette requires that they should not be returned but thrown at him/her without any delay!

If you have a problem then create the same problem to the other person; So that the problem is recognized and felt at the same level.

Or say Lost it/them to the face.

I agree, I think a gift is a gift. The only possible exception I could think of might be a recent engagement ring, but I'm not even sure about that.

Giftback

When you give a gift to someone, it's bad breeding to ask it back. But if he still insists, and you don't want the situation to turn ugly, give the jerk his gifts.

I'm so sorry for you, but on the positive side, aren't you glad you are rid of this piece of rotten work?

I wouldn't return anything, unless I returned it damaged. If it was yours before y'all broke up, it's yours afterwards, unless it was a conditional gift like an engagement ring.