How did you cope when you lost your parent?

I am 46. I took care of my Mom since I was 16, as well as my Dad for a couple of years before he died. I was 31 when he died and my Mom passed in 2001. My mom was hardest because we were very close, our family at the time consisted of her, myself and my daughter. We were a very tight knit unit, and even though she was very ill for so long, she was my backbone and courage to get through all of what we went through. When she passed on, it left an extremely large void in my daily routine, in my heart and my daughters life. I found that allowing yourself time to grieve was the one thing that helped the process. I made copies of pictures for other family members, I watched old home movies and allowed myself permission to miss her.

In the meantime, you might want to begin writing in a journal all those stories and memories she might have passed on to you over the years. As we get older, the details become foggy and in years to come you will want to remember them as she told them to you. You might want to write her notes "just to say hi" and keep your connection with her open. You can also take up a course or class of some sort so you have something to balance your thoughts. I found myself getting extremely empty headed after she passed. If I didn't focus on only one thing I become tired and/or confused. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, take the time to yourself to be silent with your thoughts so they can sort themselves out - and keep talking to family and friends, even if they get tired of hearing it. Also remember - everyone grieves in their own time, some need more time than others, but keep yourself busied with something positive and allow time for memories. It is usually harder to move forward if you are someone who tries to block out the hurt and not allow yourself to feel the pain.

My condolences and respect.

My sister and i lost our mom almost 3 years ago. It seems long but it really isn't at all. It will always be hard to deal with. The best thing to do is make sure you have a family member or a close friend to talk to and go to when you are down and you just need someone to listen to you. Sometimes it is hard for friends to understand unless they have been through the same thing. So make sure you don't push your family away and you keep them close because they are the most important thing to get through this hard time. Make sure you don't stop doing things that make you happy if that is dancing, singing, sports, etc. they are important to help you relieve stress and free your mind. In my family we stayed close but we didn't notice when my dad started to become overly stressed and depressed with everything that was going on. Watch for signs of depression in your family and in yourself and make sure if they worsen to talk to them and help before it leads to a worse problem (drugs, drink, partying, etc.) anything that could seem like an addiction problem or to take them away from reality. I'm very sorry for your lose and i hope we have helped some what.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Dealing with loss and grieving the loss of a parent is very difficult to do alone. Can you look into some local support groups to attend? Or can you seek some religious advice and support right now to cope better with all of your feelings. Do you have any other support: good friends and other family members that you can share your feelings with?

If you feel you need to talk about your feelings, you can call the Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000. We talk to kids and parents about various issues. We have counselors available 24/7. Take care, Counselor KJ

I lost my father a year ago Aug. 20. You just take one day at a time and do the best you can. The only thing that makes it better is time. One day you'll realize you can remember things your mom said, or did, and remember them fondly. Her death will somehow subtly transform over time into memories, the good ones will be the ones you remember the most.

I tried grief counseling, and it seemed they just wanted me to wallow around in it as long as possible. What worked better was talking to family and friends. Mostly the family who remembered my Dad as a young man. I know this may not work for you. God bless you. Hang in there. I promise you it does get better. After 10 days, you're in the worst part right now.

My mother died in February very suddenly. I know EXACTLY how you feel hun. I am only 18, but my mother was 57 when she died.

It hurts horribly, but for me it comes and goes. Usually I get upset late at night and when I am by myself.

I try to remind myself that I beleive she is in a better place and is no longer suffering (she had many health problems and had a very sad life). I also try to keep in mind that she loves me very much and that she will always be with me.

It's true things do get better with time, but it is a long hard road and it is very important you have family and friends to rely on.

I've lost a really really really really good friend like she was my best friend ever! The only way i coped with the pain inside is that i set up an emai address and get one of my friends to pretend they are my friend that took her own life. Or i just think that they went to Russia to have a holiday and will be back when i'm going to join her.