What do you think of my writing?

Ok, so I'm 13 years old and I am writing my very first book. I've posted the Prolouge of this book before but I decided to redo it and put it in first-person. So here is part of the new version of the Prolouge tell me what you think(Construtive criticism is welcome, but don't be mean or anything)!

BTW, don't feel like you have to read the entire thing. I know it's a bit long.

Thanks! :)

PROLOUGE

KING BRYRAN

I had been pacing back and forth outside the delivery room for seemingly endless hours. So I decided to sit in the small wooden chair against the stone wall and with my head in my hands, temporarily allowing myself to wallow in my anxieties of impending fatherhood.

“Aaaaaghh!” My head immediately lifts up at the sound of my wife, Amethila, screaming. I wasn’t an expert on childbirth or anything, but I was pretty sure something was going wrong. I strode to the wooden door, the only thing separating me from my precious wife. I was tempted to break the door down, and it would have been easy too. A simple spell would have worked. Like most simple spells it would take some energy from me, but not a lot. But, being king, I knew I could never break the tradition in the Kingdom of Calith, of the father seeing the baby after birth. I would have to wait for the midwife get me when the time came.

So, I started to pace again, each minute feeling like and hour.

“Waaaah!” I nearly passed out when I heard the sound of a baby crying. I actually fell down on my knees, crawled to the door and pressed my ear against the wood, desperate to hear my baby again. I heard it again, several times actually. I heard a lot of noise coming from the room. It was hard to hear over the baby’s crying, but I could tell the midwife and other Healers were anxious about something.

Finally, the noise died down and all I hear is soft whimpering from the infant and I finally stand up just in time for the door to swing open, almost hitting my face. Suddenly, I’m face to face with the midwife, Rose. Her wrinkly face is red and her graying hair clings messily to her sweaty head. She’s been the palace midwife and primary Healer since I was little, so she’s practically family. She shuts the door behind her before she speaks and this surprises me. Shouldn’t I be going in there to see my baby? She puts her hand on my shoulder, she leads me down the hall, away from the delivery room, making me nervous. She gives me a deep look and starts speaking in a heavy voice, “Congratulations, Your Majesty! You have twin girls and they are perfectly healthy.”

Twins?! Half of me was filled with immeasurable joy and the other was filled with worry. I peered at her uncertainly; she’d told me the news with sadness while she should have been happy. “May I go see them?”

She shakes her head, her face suddenly pale, “I must tell you something,” she begins in a hoase whisper. “She’s dying. The queen is dying. She couldn’t handle delivering two babies. She lost a lot of blood and her body is weak.” She turns to the nearby window and looks at the starry sky with tears in her eyes. “It would be a miracle if she makes it through the night. It is unlikely she will make it through the next few hours.” She turns to me expectantly, waiting for my reaction.

I take step back and run straight to the door, uttering magic words as the door flies open for me, barely feeling the slight energy drain. I run in and, without thinking, grab the nearest Healer by the neck and press him against the cold stone wall. Her coming death is making my crazy and I can’t control myself anymore. It feels like I’m no longer connected to my body. My brain stopped working and I act on impulse.

“Why can’t you save her?” I growled into the apparently frightened Healer’s face, ignoring the frantic pleas from the other Healers. I’m hope they’re afraid, because for the next several hours I’m going to be afraid. I picture myself standing over her, carefully watching each breath. Hoping it isn’t her last.

“We tried everything,” he squeaks, his skinny hands trying to pry mine away from him windpipe. Hah! Good luck with that! “But even simple spells exhausts us.”

That’s when I remember. The second I knew Amethila was pregnant I had cast a spell on her that prevented anyone who tried to use magic on her to be greatly weakened. Like most dramatic spells, it had taken a toll on my health, but I couldn’t leave her and my unborn babies vulnerable to any kind of dark magic. In my frustration I squeeze his neck tighter. “I don’t care if you die! Just as long as-”

Suddenly, I hear a firm voice telling me to stop, standing out from the other voices telling me the same thing. This voice is angelic, yet tired and it is a voice I would know anywhere. Amethila! The sound of her voice makes me realize why I’m here and I resurface from the strange trance, my hand immediately releasing the healer, who was starting to turn colors.

I hurry to the giant wooden bed where she lays,