Is it wrong to take this opportunity?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We are living together and are about to move into a bigger place. We love each other very much and the only real problems we have are typical financial obstacles like any other struggling couple. My best friend goes with her father to Vegas every year and usally take a friend, she has asked that I go with them this year for my birthday. I was hesitant to bring this up to my boyfriend, as I felt guilty for going without him. He does not have paid vacation through work nor does he have the means for this sort of trip. So, not only can he not afford to go but cannot afford to miss work. He also was not invited, I would never expect my friend's dad to pay for my boyfriend to if I was invited. I don't have unlimited funds myself, but I do have paid vacation through work and the plane ticket and room would be paid for. I feel like this is an opportunity for me, as I have not really traveled in all of my 25 years, nor would I be able to fund this sort of trip on my own any time soon. I feel like he should want me to take this opportunity, and experience this. Instead it caused a big fight, with him saying if the tables were turned, how would I feel if the opportunity was offered to him. Truthfully, I would be upset that he got to go and I didn't, but that's not the right thing to do. As hard as it would be to deal with, I feel the right thing would be to want him to experience something like this, and not hold him back from it. I just don't know, part of me feels he is right and another part of me feels I should go, for me. Just because we are in a relationship and love each other, that doesn't mean every waking moment needs to be spent that way. Is it wrong for me to take this opportnity because I am in a relationship and he is not included in this?

Nicky · Accepted Answer

No and if your partner is a decent bloke who REALLY loved you rather than just saying he did then he would want you to go and have the experience because that is what real love is...putting the other person before yourself and wanting them to be happy! You go and enjoy yourself because if you ever split up you would really regret not taking this opportunity when it came up. If your with a decent bloke he wont have a problem with it.

OneHappyDude · Answer

There is no reason for you to not go.  If my g/f had that opportunity....of course I'd be a little pissed that I couldn't go, but I certainly wouldn't deny her the experience.  If you two were married, that'd be a different story, I don't believe anyone who is in a marriage should go anywhere on vacation without their spouse, especially Vegas!!!  Final answer - GO!!  If he really loves you, he'll get over it.  If he's mad because he doesn't trust you, you are better off without him.  Tell him you'll "make it up to him" when you get back!

~LuCkY~ · Answer

It is not wrong at all!  Its very healthy for couples to take separate vacations.  He's just jealous that he doesn't get to go, but that doesn't mean he's right in trying to stop you from going.  My husband and I had planned on going to Vegas a couple times but the plans always fell through. Then his brother wanted to take him out there because he had a free room and all that.  At first I was upset, but only because I was jealous!  But I never would have asked him not to go.  If you guys don't have a life of your own, you'll grow to resent each other for all the things you "could've" done.

Maybe so · Answer

Go. For you. How dare he be angry. This is a wonderful opportunity to spend time with your girlfriend before you get married and have kids and don't get this chance again. If you end up marrying this guy, I believe he wouldn't even watch the kids for you to go out. Sheesh. Too many of my girlfriends worry too much about their boyfriends/husbands opinions to really live their own lives. Pick your man carefully.

Mati · Answer

I think he may be angry not so much because you're going without him, as because he can't afford to take you. He feels bad about that and he can't find the words, so he lashes out.  Just reassure him that you're going to spend time with your friend and the two of you will have chances in the future to take wonderful trips together.

10tolife · Answer

o.k A long time ago my girl friend was invited to go to florida
 and not me she really wanted to go and we really didn't have the money to go.
so i took my pay check cash it and give her money to go
 she felt guilty a day before and didn't want to go i made her go she love d and we both are happy.
I say that to say this love is a selfish act to make the one you love happy even if it mean you cant enjoy the same thing all the time.
it not about if the shoe was on the other foot it about how much do you love the person and want them to be happy.
 tell him..then go if he loves you then he shouldn't take it personal
when his time come around to do something without you love him let him go and dont take it personal.

? · Answer

Of course it's not wrong.
You still get to be an individual, even in a relationship.  If I were in your boyfriend's position, I may be disappointed that I couldn't go but I would still be happy that you have the opportunity.
Talk to your boyfriend, then go and enjoy Vegas.

Kasey · Answer

It's not wrong for a couple of reasons:

1.  You are not married to him
2.  He was not invited
3.  You have to time to take off, he doesn't
4.  Free trip 

Go and enjoy yourself---Good Luck!!!

iluvmyman · Answer

I don't know this may be a damned if ya don't and a damned if ya do situation hon. I really cannot tell what to do. Just weigh your priorities and see what you come up with. Its important to have your own identity in a relationship and not constantly be "we".

Tattoou · Answer

Take the opportunity and have a wonderful time.

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Is it wrong to take this opportunity?

13 Answers