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Am i overreacting? Or is my boyfriend really a selfish ***?
My boyfriend and i got into it a few weeks ago because he claimed i wanted him up my butt 24-7 (totally not true). during the argument he commented that our time at work was supposed to be time apart and it wasn't because i "blew" his phone up every day texting him. So as part of our "making up" i stopped texting him completely. Well this morning, he texted me out of the blue and asked how my day was...i was pleasantly surprised and texted him back. he then asked me what time i was going to lunch so i asked why and he wanted me to bring him something to eat. (he only gets 30 min lunches & i'm the only one that has money today) in the past he has done this many times...i used to text him good morning sexy and he would respond an hour and a half later with 'can you bring me cigarettes or food'. Should i be upset because he seems to be using me or am i overreacting?
20 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Have you considered that he could be getting into trouble at work because of the volume of text messages you send?
- SheenaLv 71 decade ago
How old are both of you? And how long have you two been together? He's only using you if he doesn't pay you back for buying him things, doesn't buy you anything and doesn't spend any time with you outside of sex. It sounds like he cares for you but doesn't wanna be smothered. Most men are this way. They want alone time and time with the boys. I'm 23 and I live with my fiance'. I only call him once a day or if I really have to. And sometimes at night I ask for an hour alone just to think and relax. Maybe you should do the same thing, only call or text once a day or if you really have to. And only see him no more than twice a week.
- 1 decade ago
This is part of the learning about him stage where you ask yourself if he is worth it or if there are better fish in the sea. How long have you been together? Seems like it already is indicating he might not be the one for you. Only you can tell however but you could ask close friends who have seen the 2 of you together. Preferably people who aren't just one sided and will say get rid of him or keep him but can see the situation objectively.
It is hard for anyone to tell online without knowing you and him as we only hear your side of the story. Really it sounds like you should be writing down pros and cons in a journal and every single day writing down stuff .. good and bad .. so that later you can look back and make a more informed decision and not a irrational one you might regret later.
He might just not be that emotional or might just be taking you for granted but still love you. I know people like that .. some are on the fence and unsure but does not mean they are intentionally using you. However it does sound like you might be more in love with him than he is with you.
Ever read the book "He is just not that into you" ??
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Those gen X fogies don't get it.
There's even a special term for you kids today, 'Digital Natives'.
Texting once or twice day around lunch or in morning duirng the drive to work etc.. is fine. Texting through-out the day is not, that's *******-off and can get you fired.
e.g. you get a break or two during the day, and if you want to send or read a text-message then fine. But not while you are suppose to be working.
To me, it sounds like your boyfriend is a user.
When I have extra time and money, I buy lunch and take it home to my wife. I don't text her and say 'bring me a sandwich *****'.
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- TbbyLv 41 decade ago
1) Don't text him while you or he is at work. He asked you not to and you should comply. Also, you can't miss someone when you are texting them all the time. Also, if he texts you during your work, then do not respond until you are on break or off for the day. Explain to him that you are respecting the boundaries that he set. And then stick to them.
2) He is being a selfish jerk if he is always asking you to do favors. But by instituting the no texting while at work policy, it should stop this behavior. He will have to get his own food and cigs and not be able to use you in this way anymore.
OR, you could just DTMFA, as Dan Savage would say.
- january_starsLv 41 decade ago
Well he does seem to be using you, but that doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't care about you. Everybody uses their partner to some extent, especially (I've noticed) when it comes to food, lol. It's true that he started acting sweet to get on your good side so you would bring him something.
What's bad is if this is the only time he's sweet. If he's kind of a jerk the rest of the time yet he is suddenly sweet only when he wants something, that would piss me off very much and show that he is not being genuine.
- visLv 71 decade ago
that really depends.does he take you out sometimes..to the movie out to dinner and pay..if not and your paying for everything he may be using you .i can go along with to many phone calls and texting..that is a bit annoying but if the only times he wants to text you ends up with you buying him lunch than may be you got a user on your hands..maybe you should pretend to be broke once in a while..
- JosephineLv 61 decade ago
Personally, I'd be mad at him. I think I'd say "Oh, so it's fine for you to text me when you want me to bring you food, but if I text you at all, just to say hello, I'm crowding you and blowing your phone up?...Go get your own lunch, since the time apart is so important to you."
I wouldn't say he's using you, but I would definetely say that he's being really manipulative.
- MMLv 71 decade ago
Bring him the food. It'll give you an excuse to talk. (Sounds to me like he's just not the kind of guy who can shift into romantic mode during work hours, but if he's like that after work or he hasn't acknowledged that you're trying to cut back on the texts, you should address that with him.)
- mikeydonatelliLv 61 decade ago
You sound like my girlfriend. Cant even take a dump without her calling every second. I had to tame her into not calling me and freaking out like a needy girlfriend. Lunch time is cool at work. But, calling 15 times a day and leaving 15 messages is just annoying.