Who to pick: your best friend or your boyfriend?

You answered your own question. If they both truly care about you, they should put their differences aside to make you happy. You're not asking them to become best friends, you're just asking them to let you be with both of them since they are both two individuals who are very special to you.

Just tell them that even though you accept the fact that it is almost impossible for them to be friends, you want them to accept the fact that the other person is a very important person in your life whom you care about. If they are not able to deal with this, sorry, but maybe they didn't care about you as much as you care about them.

Definitely try to figure out *why* your best friend hates your guy. Friends, having a viewpoint from outside the relationship, can see things about your guy that you can't...or that you maybe try to explain away. If she lists things like he's rude to other people (even if he's really nice to you), he doesn't listen to you, or anything like that...try and pay a little more attention, see if you can see the same things when you're looking for them. Also, try talking to mom or dad...hopefully they've met Boyfriend and have formed at least some opinion of him. This could give you a clue if Best Friend is jealous of him taking up your time (or something of the like) or if Boyfriend is actually a Bad Egg.

If, at the end of the search, you find their personalities are simply incompatible...at least now you know. Have a heart-to-heart with both of them...separately, of course. Let them know that you love them very much, but love the other very much as well. You cherish the relationship you have with them, but the ongoing feud between them is hurting you. Tell them you understand that they don't get along...but make it clear you are not their complaint department on this particular issue. If they bring up the subject and start throwing barbs, change the subject...don't try to discuss it or you'll just give them more reasons to come up with complaints about the other. If they don't drop the subject, cut the conversation short, letting them know you'll be glad to talk when they have something else to talk about.

All in all, it's a sticky situation. Best of luck to you.

I figure you got two basic options: keep them separated forever of talk to the both of them and tell them that, for you, they need to make amends. To agree to disagree, to kill the trash talk, and to chill out. Act civilized if for nothing else, for you. One is supposed to be your friend, and the other is supposed to be your man, both of them should easily agree to bury the hatchet for you. If one does and the other doesn't then I guess you have your answer about who to choose in the long run because the one who doesn't clearly lets their emotions override their feelings and respect for you. If they both do, cool, if neither one is willing to concede them I'd lay off both of em for a while and when they ask why tell them it's because if they really cared about you they'd shut the hell up and chill out simply because you asked them to and not wait until you stop talking to them to wonder what the problem is.

If they love you as much as you love them, they will deal with one another for you. Just dont put yourself in a situation where your stuck in the middle of them and its just you 3 in the room. or something like that. Tell them you dont want them to hear them talking trash behind each others back and if they are going to talk trash then deffinately not to you. Just say you really dont want to hear it and if they respect you they will listen. Hope everything goes well!

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I've been in this situation before and I lost both. But really, there's nothing like a friend, if you have to choose. I recommend sitting them down together and talking it out peacefully. Ask them separately what it is that they don't like about each other. Ask them both to work out their differences and be civil with each other if they care about you. But you don't have to put up with listening to one complain about the other. Make them understand that you love them equally and you can't devote your life to either one.

Why choose?

Here's the thing, they have to compete with each other for your affections - albeit different kinds of affections per each.

But as an individual, you have things that are just for you. You could never give your whole self to anyone (except maybe your child(ren)).

So, you'll have to give separate time to each, your best friend and your boyfriend. Don't allow situations where they have to compete. Allocate time just for each one - never for both. And don't allow one to enter the "time space" of the other.

This is a tough situation. I am in this situation right now as the best friend. But you have to understand that we are looking out for your best interest as a best friend. Your boyfriend maybe only looking out for his selfish interest. I HATE my best friend's ex boyfriend and there is a reason behind it. We see what you do not see clear as day. We get frustrated that you do not see it or accept it when we tell it to you. If you do not believe your best friend, put yourself in his shoes right now. Honestly try to see what he sees.

there really will be other guys. if they cant be friends, then there is a problem. If you have been best friends with someone for a long time and they are willing to give that up because they cant stand your boyfriend, they maybe you ought to take a closer look at that guy. friends notice things, and can be brutally honest

my friend was in the same position a few months ago....

me and her bf hated each other...... so she told us to either learn to get along or shell have nothing to do with either of us.....me and the dude started acting like friends when she was around but dam the second she left we would hate each other......

anyways they ended up breakin up....which i thought was the funniest sh!t ever.....but were still besties

so i say set them both free and whoever comes back first is the most important.....................hope this helped.......this is the longest answer ive ever written!! lol

are they making u choose?

if they are ur best friend/ur boyfriend they shouldn't make u choose in the first place :/

i don't think it's a matter of choosing but a matter of the love they both have for u and if they love and respect you enough they would find a way to deal with each other.