He doesn't care - how can I make him?

You two are way overdue for some major changes in your relationship.

First off, have a discussion with your husband about how he would like to be asked what to do. Tell him that it is obvious that he doesn't like you merely asking. So ask him how he would like to be asked to do things. Hopefully, he will be able to tell you how to ask, and you can follow through. If not, keep doing what you're doing, except for one crucial part: stop doing it for him. If it doesn't get done, let it not get done, and let him suffer the consequences.

I like what you're doing about sex. Let him come to you. If he'd rather cut off his nose to spite his face by stomping around, let him. I'd be interested to see how long it takes for him to decide how badly he wants sex. I do think you should tell him what you're doing, though, just to be clear, and fair.

Regarding your phone conversations, have another conversation with your husband in advance. Politely inform him that you will talk to them when you please and that interruptions will not be tolerated. Then, follow through. If he tries to interrupt, go in the bathroom and lock the door. If you can't do that for some reason, get in your car, drive to a nearby parking lot, and talk on the phone there.

Tell your husband that if the topics you bring up "don't matter" to him, then the topics he brings up are going to stop mattering to you. Give him a chance, but if he says it again, follow through. Next time he starts talking sports, hold up one hand, palm out, and say, "It doesn't matter."

In each case, communicate your expectations and tell your husband his choices. In each case, give him enough rope to hang himself. And in each case, if he hangs himself, let him hang, and don't make his problem into your problem.

Don't lay down for him. A marriage has to be a two way street with shared responsibilities. If he seems too distant, don't chase him. What could be the reason he doesn't want to talk to you? Is he upset about something that happened or did this slowly start? He seems to be becoming self centered and that is not a good thing. There is no reason he should not want you to talk to your family unless he feels threatened. What could that be? Try to share the chores on the weekend. I know, easier said than done.

I feel you have to start taking care of yourself and center on yourself. Right now you are the most important person in your life.

I doubt that he could or will ever change, you've made it too easy for him. He knows that you'll do things, he knows it! Do you work outside the home as well? Call your family when he's not around. Geesh!

I have a friend who sounds a lot like you. She lived with the guy for 25 years before he would marry her and then it was only for legal reasons. He's a big schmuck and she knows it because she says it's better than being alone. You don't mention kids, do you have any? I don't know, I'd rather be alone than to be treated like that. Quality of life is very important to me. Good luck on your decision.

Men are fickle in the sense that they like what they like, they want what they want and they see what they see. What I mean is that your husband has gotten used to you catering to him and basically spoiling him. He doesn't have to work for anything because you already provide everything. You can try some tricks to see how things go...

1.) If you want him to desire you change somethings up...for example, I'm not sure if you have kids but for once if you can get them out for a night, that would be good...however, try dressing in something that makes you feel sexy...maybe lingerie, a silk slip, heels, etc. Begin making dinner and if you can time his entrance, be sure to be dressed in your sexy gear while something good is cook ;) The idea here is that you appeal to his major senses...seeing something beautiful (because you feel sexy you will look sexy), his sense of smell...food is cooking (stomach will be happy) and well his member will definitely get excited.

or

2.) you can go on strike and not do anything so that he can see your worth.

If you read a lot, you should try reading Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

Good Luck!

Sounds as if you two have grown apart to the point he just needs a roommate and a mate for bootty calls every now and then? after 100 years you should never run out of things to communicate with your soul mate and partner, I sometime myself find it hard to do so with my mate but this is about you not me, you should be treated as an equal a partner in life and love no matter the reasons for both to share, I could go on with this but I am sure you catch what it is I am throwing your way, search with in your heart, it will never tell you wrong, if you should want to chat more you know how to find me good luck

You cant make a guy do anything. You can only persuade him to want to. And to me it sounds like he has gotten to where he is so comfortable that he thinks he can take advantage of you and you wont do anything about it. You need to try and persuade him to go to councelling so you two can work on this, and if he refuses and still says "i dont care," then I guess you really know he doesnt. Then youll have to make a decision about what your next move is.

Oh, and this line made me truly cringe for you "I read my books and clean house and lay down for him before bedtime." This is not the description of a marriage.

Yes, he has gotten use to you, he has no resect for you eather. You need to go to counceling and have him be more involved in your life. I am reading a book i got from the store and its wonderful. I got it to help my marrage of 10 years. Its almost the same pattern as you. So go get it and you will relate to this book big time its called "Good Husband, Great Marrage by Robert Mark Alter" get it and read it. Than work on your marrage.

ok, I answered your other question about the crush on your co-worker...you guys need some counseling. You are fantasizing about someone else --- when you need to make a decision - if you watn to work on the marriage, then do it -- stop complaining. Both of you need to take responsibility for what you feel is lacking.....

Nope

give him the same answer you get from him

next time he starts going off about the broken machine at work throw your hands up and say I don't care or it doesn't matter to me

gibve him a dose of his own medicine