What's an appropriate recognition of bereavment for a friend having to put their beautiful dog down?

I'll tell you what my good friend did for me. She actually met me at the vets office and was there with me when we put my dog down. She hugged and petted my dog and cried along with me, let me stay there as long as I needed. She then took me for a cup of coffee, where she let me cry and talk about my girl and then drove me home.

She never once told me to get over or to get another pet.

The other thing that people did was send me cards, which I thought was thoughtful. The other thing I thought was really special, was when my obedience club made a $200 donation to the local shelter in memory of my dog.

For a lot of people losing a companion animal can be quite a bit like losing a family member or child, especially when they've been part of the family for so long. A card, a small gift basket full of pampering stuff, a plant (flowers die, an easy to care for plant is a great choice and something that will be associated w/ you and their beloved dog in a positive manner), bring over dinner, make yourself available but don't be pushy and respect whatever way they choose to deal with their grief.

Be available for your friend -- I'm sure you already know that.

Cards are always good.

I've gotten memorial gifts that resembled the beloved dog for some friends, or given a donation to an organization about which the person cared (in one instance, the place where the dog and person visited as a therapy dog team).

It's really nice of you to be so caring. The most important thing (having been on both ends of this) is for your friend to know you're there for him/her anytime 24/7, but you recognize the need for space. When my pets die, I want to be left alone and I know I'm not that unusual, so make sure your friend knows this. Maybe you could even call later tonight.

Beyond that, a card is always appreciated. I got some really nice ones from co-workers when my first cat died. But anything beyond that might be too much - just your friendship and understanding is what matters most.

Just you being there supporting your friend should be enough.

Print this out for your friend.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

There are also may pet breivment hotline he can call.

I know your friends pain. I had to put my beloved scottie to sleep in Jan. He was only 11 1/2 yo.

My sympathies.

How nice of you to be so caring.

Be with your friend.. you don't need to talk or find words.

In the next few weeks, phone calls, text messages, emails,

visiting, will all be things that you can do to help carry your

friend through this difficult time.

Ask if you can drive them to the vet and bring her home after.

You could also contribute to Oliver's cremation, if he is being cremated.

Get her to pick an urn and pay for it.

Memorialize your dog if you think it will help. One way to work through your grief is to arrange for some kind of memorial. Whether that means a headstone, urn, or donation to a dog-related charity, a task that relates to your grief will make you feel better. Many types of headstones and urns are specifically designed for dogs.

http://dogtime.com/grief.html

When I lost my "soul mate", I was very moved by a floral delivery, and the very thoughtful cards. The best was a flowering plant I took care to nurture.

It was also VERY important to me that people would remember my Micah, remember little "things" about him, always picture him at my side.

Ah...it is so hard.....

Send a card saying you understand and are there for them. And be there for them. Listen when they want to talk, etc.

BTW, be careful with the Rainbow Bridge stuff. Personally, although I know people mean well with it, I find it offensive It is a fairy tale and I outgrew those several decades ago.

I'd be with the dear owner, but if I couldn't, I'd send a memorial gift.