Is it normal to feel blue for so long after a messed-up performance?

I think it's perfectly normal to feel that way. The hard part of any performance is "getting over it." Either way, if it went really well, that euphoria can last long enough to get you to the next one where something goes amiss ... and then you feel even worse.

I think that because you were performing for a singer who you admire so much, you feel that you've let her down. And in doing that you feel that you've let yourself down. (It could have been just a touch better and now you are disappointed with yourself.)

... I cannot say I've ever experienced the depression / dissatisfaction you're feeling. I go into every performance KNOWING I will mess up somewhere (It's a miracle when I don't). Still the music is always appreciated by the audience.

Don't worry about it. I did a major piano performance with an orchestra one time. And for the first time I skipped 9 bars of the music! I had never done that before but I did! And the whole orchestra was lost and confused. I was so depressed. I was sad for 3 days and then I got really sick with the flu for a week. And then I was depressed for another week after that. It's a terrible feeling to think you've just embarrassed yourself (and in my case the conductor and manager and orchestra). It's natural. Don't worry too much. You'll get over it. Try writing your feelings down in a diary or something.

It has happened to me a few times, so you could call it normal. With some people we just seem to "click" as if we have a spiritual or emotional or even intellectual connection. I am learning to be more careful about this though and not get carried away by these feelings coz you can be so wrong in the end and oh, so sorry you let your impressions fool you! We have a saying that "chicken soup and precaution never hurt anyone" ...

How depressing to hear that you are so blue...

For me the closest experience I have had of that was when I was in choir singing an English folk song, and I accidently started singing "O thou that tellest." But, I have an excuse! The first interval/notes of the folk song are exactly the same as O thou that tellest.... That was one of the most embarassing moments of my "career." Or maybe it was when I started crying my eyes out during a performance of Gelido in Ogni Vena... but thank god my voice wasnt affected!

Or that time I was singing Una Voce Poco Fa, and my B was flat. I realised this almost immediately though, and corrected it by trilling the Bb/B. Then I obsessed over that cadenza for weeks...

Anya, everybody has 'off" days, when they cant sing as well as they would have liked. Maybe you are coming down with something, or maybe its something trivial like the weather is making you sound flat? (That logic works with my trumpet... It sounds flatter in hot weather)

-MissLimLam

I feel most of us are our worst critics. When a performance does not go perfectly, I tend to keep dwelling on it. I try not to, but cannot help it. Many times in bed it will keep me awake, my brain will not let go if it. Usually I will get up and practice the piano, and even while practicing by mind will still be thinking about it, however at least I am getting some practice time in. Eventually with time I move on and sleep like a baby.

Hang in there.

I feel that self reflection is important for a musician.However,not everyone can do their best.The only time when the "true" 100% comes out is when your with your instrument and the 4 walls close to you.

I felt pretty blue when I didn't win a competition too...Although I wasn't expecting to in the first place lol...Alkan's Allegro Barbaro doesn't contain much musical substance after all.

Cheer up!We all fail sometimes.If you need to talk to someone you can always talk to me.Just make sure your on msn lol.

Hi Anya,

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so down. But I can totally sympathise - like you, I tend to beat myself up for anything I do that's less than perfect...thing is (and it's taken me forever to realise this) usually the "imperfections" aren't so obvious to other people, but occasionally they are, and - oh, the cringe-factor - well, you know exactly what I mean.

I still burn with embarrassment when I remember the high bassoon solo in "The Dying Swan" from "Carmina Burana" - and during the performance, my reed decided to pack up just before my solo. It was excruciating, and it took me AGES to get over it. But I did get over it - to the point now where I can laugh about it! I'm sure the audience still talk about the poor, croaky, sick-sounding swan flapping about in the bassoon section...

But the thing is - to state the boringly obvious - we're only human, and that's what makes us so wonderful - and you know, you'll get another chance to prove (especially to yourself) that it was only a once-off hiccup, and next time, your performance will be soaring up there with the angels.

Anya, I'm sure your professor is remembering the 99.99% of perfectly beautiful notes you sang. She knows what an amazing musician you are. You're the only one remembering the dodgy bit, you know!

Be extra-nice to yourself, and pour your energy now into practicing for your next performance.

You'll feel better soon, and please email me if you like...

Hafwen xoxox

Hi Anya!

You are perfectly normal! ... Most of us go through those feelings after performing, even if we "have fixed" it afterwards.

As other poster says..."We are our worst critics" Been demanding with one self is very good, but being "over demanding" to the point of getting too upset might not.

Don't you think that your teachers, judges or whoever, were just as nervous many times? They understand, I am sure.

All you have to do is try your best and be satisfied.

In the meantime, just breathe deeply, get your mind engaged in other topics, no use going to the past if it upsets you...

I'll give you a star (which is worth about 100 stars, ok?)

I wish you the best, the very best!!

tucomena

Don't worry about it. It's natural to keep thinking about it. But the important thing is you went back and fixed it. It might help if you perform it to her again, to help settle your conscience. But it'll be ok, don't worry :) xx