Does your husband ever prefer to masturbate over sex?

Nope he prefers me

I don't think he is preferring to masturbate over sex ----I think he needs certain stimulation to MAINTAIN his erection ---- that is a difference....

I would NOT say a word to him. The more attention you draw to that --- the more he will worry and the worse the situation will get......wait a while and see what happens...like a month.

ps ---- honestly .... NOTHING turns me on more than watching my hsuband do this.... :)

......either he has something on his mind (guilt, conflicted feelings,) or its the start of a medical problem.

How is everythign in the rest of the relationship? Anything changed with you --- are you still acting/looking the same? Does he have every reason to still be attracted to you? I mean attitude also.....

yea... your going to have to try some extra things out. Routine becomes boring after a while (this includes sex). So if you are always doing the same thing, this might lead to him just simply being bored...

Sex is a two way street lady. Try and put some work in as well, and try and think up some other ways that will pleasure you both.

Force him to suck on your ****... try some bondage stuff... ask him what porn he has been watching and try and emulate it with him... that sort of thing.

EDIT:

and try not to put to much attention on him being unable to keep it up. this will only make the problem worse.

I dated a guy once who said his girlfriend was so bad he preferred to masturbate. If you've been married a while, that probably isn't it and maybe it is his age. Try cutting back on alcohol and smoking if he does either of those and increasing exercise. Beyond that, take care of him and nurture the intimacy. Give him massages and be close to him. As long as he's still "into you" (oral or something else) and the frequency isn't dropping off too dramatically, be patient with it. Good luck.

At 41 your husband shouldn't be having this sort of problem. He's using his hand to get added stimulation. If his circulation was good he wouldn't be needing this. A man's sexual ability or lack of can often be a sign of failing health. I would encourage him to see his doctor now before something serious happens. If he's not getting good blood flow in his penis his heart probably isn't either.

Whens the last time you did something other than the basic positions?

Try adding something to it. Give him a lap dance in lingerie first. Do messages, watch porn... start the stimulation before sex.

It might be he is losing his "mojo" and might need to see a doc. Try other ways first to see if it's just a dull moment in the marriage before going there.

If it works, it works. He may have ED issues and if manual stimulation is what he needs, then by all means, he should have it. You can try new ways to stimulate him yourself, have him "train" you so to speak, then you can help him instead of standing on the sidelines while he helps himself. Good luck!

Leave it alone.

As we age, certain things are harder to come by (no pun intended). The fact that he is still seeking you out for the intimacy speaks volumes about your relationship.

As long as you're skilled in using your hand (or toy), then there are no problems here.

you should use your hand or your mouth to help him out

or try to do something that is more stimulating

Maybe watch a porno before or during.

Make the sex more interesting. Do different positions. Bring in handcuffs, etc.

It's like an M&M.

Drive drops as you age, if you are having a lot of sex it can be difficult to get an erection.

either do it for him (masterbate him) or try new things until you find one that makes him hard without his own stimulation. . or you could see a doctor and get erection helper pills.

this isn't normal unless its not only your sex life that needs help