Can someone review this poem please?

Question

I wrote a poem, but im not sure if it makes any sense...so let me know your thoughts on how to make it better and how you interpret it.

I see tears streaming down her face,
She stares back at me, 
she is alone, 
crying in the empty bathroom.
Hurt even more than she had been before.

This isnt the first time,
and each time she grows weaker,
filling her body with hidden emotions,

Telling others that she is ok,
covering it up with a sweet smile.
But if you looked into her eyes,
youd see the secrets, the lies,

...of the girl in the mirror,
the one who sits and cries.

Charli 9: · Accepted Answer

Wow, I love the ending! 
Maybe you could make it a bit more metaphorical? Keep the reader guessing until the end. 

I think it's a beautiful, and the emotion is raw. You have a real talent there, it just needs a little polishing :] 

xxx

andrew g · Answer

This has been one of the better poems I've read under Yahoo! Answers.  Keep the good work.  I could empathize with the female.  Pain is something most people are familiar with and you bring it out clearly in this poem.  Try to get publish.  I've been published and paid for my work and it is a great experience.  It may take some time but you can do it.  Keep writing great work like this and you're on your way.

Mister Answerman · Answer

It makes a lot of sense. And it is a beautiful poem. It is a girl looking in the mirror and seeing the emotional side of the herself.

Anonymous · Answer

the 1st stanza sorta confused me ... but the rest is just great!... i can relate to this poem and i think many others can... very nice job :)

crip_olewings · Answer

i love your poem...its deep...why don't you try to write songs, chorus and flows.

i look forward to reading more it them coming.

dare 2 struggle!

Trending News

Can someone review this poem please?

5 Answers