did i make the right choice?

Question

This may or may not be long. my fiancee and i are having a problem. not with eachother but with her family. they hate me. her and i are both agressive people and thats what attracts us to eachother. animal instinct i guess...or no...oh well now they claim i abused her. she has screamed at them that i havent (which i havent) but all this led to my choice. my mother lives in co and i chose to get a job down there and live with my mom. the job pays 3 times as much as my last and i would be able to get my own place in as little as 6 months. i told my fiancee that i would come get her in 8 when i get completly settled. but now i miss her to death. her parents say she can live with me but there is alot of anger in their tone and such. (btw sorry if grammer and punctuation and spelling is bad etc... kinda in a rush) so now im here working and making and saving money but i wont get to see her for so long. i trust this woman with my heart but im getting feelings of doubt. not for her but for myself. am i good enough and stuff like that. she says im a good man she loves me and shes very proud. but i know the distance is hurting her. did i make the right choice to move and start a life earlier over here or should i have stuck it out with her. :( please help not so i now i did the right thing for us.

teresathegreat · Accepted Answer

You should have discussed this move with your fiancee instead of making the decision on your own.  This decision impacts both of you, so both of you should have a say in it.  You should develop this habit, because that is how married life works.

This separation is an ideal time for both of you to work on your issues.  Get counseling to discover why you are both so "aggressive", and develop better ways of communicating so that you don't continue this destructive and hurtful path.  
It also provides you time to take a step back and think about why her family dislikes you.  Instead of just running away and ignoring the problem, realize that they will soon be your family too, and they will always be a part of her life.  Try to find ways to address their concerns, reach out to them, and be friends.  Even if you don't like them personally, you need to get along with them for her sake.

nikkkiweeki · Answer

Omggggg my situation is prety close to yours . I moved frm NY to Tx for college n bcuz my parent wanted me to and I left my boyfriend back in Ny now I'm stuck in Tx without my boyfriend n I don't even want to do anything bcuz I'm miss him so much I haven't made an effort to set up my classes I just want to move back to ny bcuz I miss him so much n it's so hard n depressing I feel I made da wrong choice of leaving my bf...I didn't follow my heart I follow wht my parents wanted me to do.so my best advice for u is follow ur heart n if you feel like u made the right choice even though u guys r far away then u did if not then your unhappy n miserable away frm her then u defently made the wrong choice!!!!! We live n we learn....I really truelly hope the best for u two!!!Gud luck!!!!!

Rebel · Answer

Hi

Sure you made the right choice.  8 months isn't a lifetime.  If this relationship is meant to be, it will be stronger.

best of luck,
Rebel

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did i make the right choice?

3 Answers