Kind of a Morbid Poem I wrote a couple years ago, tell me what yall think.?

Question

hundreds of words spoken
over half of them lies
wish i could believe
what i tell people
i make up stuff
just to make people happy
even if its not really
what i feel inside
everytime i smile
its just one more lie
passing these cursed lips
everyword i say
seems to be a lie these days
i pretend to always be happy
so people don't think
start asking questions
too many questions
instead i just smile
and act like its all okay
even though my worlds
crumbling as i speak
life is whatever
you make of it
apparently
i haven't done so great
i try to make something
out of everything i havn't got
im constantly trying
but i always stumble and fall
nobodys ever here
to catch me as i go
i'm slowly slipping away
never letting it show
im gasping for air
that just isn't there
but pretend i can breath
grasping for life
and still i fake happiness
never let my feeling thru
always smile
pretending again
whenever somebody asks me
if i'm okay
its a constant reminder
that nothing ever is
im always fuccing up
screwing everybody over
turning my bacc
on everybody that cares
pushing everybody away
because i think it's all lies
i hate when people say
i know what its like
no you fuccing dont
nobody ever knows
what its like to be
somebody else
nobody ever feels
the pain they're really put thru
ive dreamt for ever
about just finally letting go
but i refuse to give up
its not what i do
so i always make myself
believe its will be okay
when deep deep down
i know it wont, ever
i just want to end it all
end the pain
fake smiles
stupidity
sadness
torment
agony
hurt
life
lies
all
of
it

I was going through some difficult stuff in my life at the time, and I sat down and wrote, that's what came out. I know it's not the best, kinda bad. But tell me what yall think, I want some opinions.

Thanks
XO

Lola · Accepted Answer

I think you're very sincere, and your talent shows through how deep you're able to portray all of your inner self in this piece of writing. It seems to me that you protected yourself wearing some sort of shell or something, so others wouldn't feel bad for what you were going through. Sometimes it's better to fake it than to show the reality.

♆Şрhĩņxy - Lost In Time. · Answer

I admire you for not giving up and that you got some comfort in a way, by writing down your true inner feelings to release the torment that you were hiding within. Thank you for sharing since when I was younger, I also too went through some hard times emotionally. 
 I hope your life is much better now.

♥

mattapan26 · Answer

A dark hole, even the physical geometry of the poem.  Hope you climbed out.  If writing that piece helped you recover from whatever hurt you were experiencing, it was well worth it.

? · Answer

Wow, very touching. interior the 2nd stanza, it says, "Asking now why God took their life?" you're able to alter the "their" to "his" to make it grammatically astounding. large activity, quite extreme high quality poem. save writing! and that i believe swoosh, you're able to alter the final 2 strains of the 0.33 stanza.

Anonymous · Answer

I hope you've gotten better [in the emotional and poetical sense] since then.

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Kind of a Morbid Poem I wrote a couple years ago, tell me what yall think.?

5 Answers