Why is it when I have put all my energy into teaching my children?

what I believe to be the true values in life they have turned out so horrible?

When I met my husband over 20 yeas ago we were both real ling from bad marriages.(We were single when we met). We both had partners that the only thing that seemed important to them was how things "looked". You know, the nice house full of every thing shiny and new, flash car, debts up to you're eye balls. You know what I mean. The veneer to cover up what is really going on. My husband was a social climber and so was my husbands wife. We were both miserable. This was not the life we wanted. My husband was a bore, he gave me "pocket money" and treated me like a half wit. My husbands wife was a serial adulterer and left him for his "best friend" and business partner and took everything he had, including his children.

We worked together, that's how we met. We hit it off immediately, both of us going on and on about what we were really looking for,what would be nice, our hopes and dreams. We were singing from the same song sheet!!

Anyway, the thing is he asked me to move in with him, and then he asked me to marry him. We have just celebrated our 21st Anniversary and I think I probably love my husband more every day.

We vowed that we would not do the debt thing - no credit cards, no loans, no mortgages, no overdrafts. If we wanted something we would save up and buy it outright. We have stuck to it. Sometimes things have got really tough, especially when the children started to come along. But we did it.

We have taught our children that possession's are not important and why should you have things that you haven't earned. What you have around you should be as a result of what you have achieved, not a pretense of what you would like to be.

Our home is secure forever (we live in a council house) no bailiff is ever going to come to my door. My children have everything they could want. They have been on school trips to France, Italy, Barcelona, and quite a few day trips here there an everywhere. All paid for, no credit, no debt. We have two computers in the house - bought and paid for.

We have five children - yes I know probably a couple to many. Things happen and you go with it. My eldest is just about to turn 17 he is mean spirited and at times very cruel. The next is 15 and tells us regularly how grateful an appreciative of him we should be as he is doing so well at school, of which he is, but this is the reason why he should be given everything he wants and shouldn't have to do anything to help around the house! My daughter who is 14 is just an unpleasant little cow, she comes and goes as she pleases, dresses like a little tramp, stays out all night without permission, smokes, drinks and gets up to god knows what with the boys. Tells me that I don't ever listen to her, which is not true,we have spent many hours talking. She makes proclamations, admitting to all her wrongs, promises to be a good girl, I let her make the terms to try and win her round, then she still can't stick to them.

My twins are just about to turn 10 and time will tell what happens to them. Hopefully we have learned a few lessons from the older ones.

We have taught them that people are important, looking after, and looking out for each other. Loving and caring, being honest, respectful of others and their beliefs/feelings. To do the right thing, to be a decent individual that is quite clear in their idea of right and wrong.

Yet none of this seems to have stuck and we have a unpleasant bunch of selfish brats.

Why is that?

I have spent the last couple of days still fighting back the tears from my eldest sons latest comment, I quote, "Anyone would think you were African, you breed like vermin and live in squalor."

It saddens me to think that I don't like my children, what will they become, I just hope it is just the "phase" they are going through, what do you think?

I have to say that they are all doing very well at school, and everybody who meets them says how bright, intelligent and articulate they are, and how polite and helpful they are. It's just me and their dad that they are so unkind to. I love my children, they just make me unhappy.