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Kailee C.
Kailee C. asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Do you like this poem/song thing?

Please tell me what you think! I know its not very good. However, please don't copy it or use it for yourself or anything. It makes me happy, becaue I don't write very much. btw there are cheesy lines.

Thanks for your input! :)

My Best Friend <3

I had been watching you the whole time dancing with all the pretty girls and

talking with all your guy friends.

Then before I knew it our eyes met and

you were walking towards where I was sitting.

I hesitated, I didn’t know what to do. My mind went blank,

I was probably blushing all over.

You sit down next to the stool by mine and smile…….

I saw your eyes,

I saw your hair,

I saw your smile,

My heart was fluttering,

My prince has finally came to the fair maidens rescue.

You said “Hi”,

I said “Hello”,

You said your name

I tried saying mine but in the process I stuttered, feeling like the biggest dork alive

You just sat there staring at me with that beautiful smile of yours…….

I saw your eyes,

I saw your hair,

I saw your smile,

My heart was fluttering,

My prince has finally came to the fair maidens rescue.

When you asked “May I have this dance?”

You stared at my eyes and mine staring into yours.

I happily accepted the invitation.

When I was getting off my seat I had tripped over my feet

I didn’t feel embarrassed.

All I could do was start laughing at my clumsiness.

Then I see you laughing along me with those bright pretty teeth

I saw your eyes,

I saw your hair,

I saw your smile,

My heart was fluttering,

My prince has finally came to the fair maidens rescue.

On the dance floor you held me in your warm body.

I wanted to say something, but I was still overwhelmed

by the fact that you had came over to me.

The clock was almost striking midnight.

I was truly affected that night by your amazing, indescribable personality……

I see your eyes,

I see your hair,

I see your smile,

In all of our children as they dance around the living room.

My heart still flutters every night I kiss you goodnight.

2 Answers

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  • undefined speed
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Awww, the ending is strikingly sweet ;)

    The idea of the poem is simply gorgeous, and several lines really struck me- but i think a lot of things should be edited. there's literally no limit for 'improvement' in a piece of literature

    but no worries, this was just your first copy :]

    My Best Friend <3

    I gazed over at you throughout (where you were),

    saw you dancing with the most stunning of girls, and chatting with friends

    When suddenly our eyes met,

    and you stepped in my direction,

    I hesitated, my mind went blank, not knowing what to do,

    I could feel blood rushing to my face, turning a burning scarlet i knew I'd turned

    You smiled, took a seat by me

    I saw your eyes,

    I saw your hair,

    I saw your smile

    My heart fluttered passionately

    The prince i'd awaited had finally come for his fair maiden,

    You said 'Hi',

    I said 'Hello'

    You said your name

    I tried to share mine, but was caught in a stutter, the flutter feeling intensening

    You simply stared at me with that irrestistable smile

    I saw your eyes,

    I saw your hair,

    I saw your smile

    My heart fluttered passionately

    The prince i'd awaited had finally come for his fair maiden,

    You asked my hand in this dance,

    our eyes connecting for the longest time

    I gladly accepted this invitation

    but as i rose from my seat, i stumbled

    What could i do but giggle at my misfortunate clumsiness

    I noticed you laughing along, your stunning white teeth glistening,

    I saw your eyes,

    I saw your hair,

    I saw your smile

    My heart fluttered passionately

    The prince i'd awaited had finally come for his fair maiden,

    You held me softly on the dance floor, our warm bodies brushing against each other.

    I could produce no words, after the thrill i'd felt,

    by the fact that you had approached me (me should be italicised)

    The clock dared say midnight,

    and i can blissfully say, your dazzling, beautiful personality really impacted me

    I saw your eyes,

    I saw your hair,

    I saw your smile

    In our children as they danced throughout the living room

    And every kiss we share, my heart still flutters

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Sweet track....it's ... do away with the you's and yours.. we will be able to be blissful with the thee's and thines.. I took a tablet... however my brow is knotting up any how. I had a lovely bridal wreath blooming in my again backyard previous within the 12 months, It could have appeared beautiful wrapped round your head... I am certain.. I certain want I might calm down and write .. bet I will need to move lay down below a tree within the orchard and watch for an apple to fall on my head... at the same time checking for ticks... yikes! good enough can I climb the tree and pen a poem from the perch above?

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