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Please post comments on this poem?
“Joshua”
Young Joshua stood above the battle.
He clenched his spear, breathed in the smell of blood,
turned to Moses -begged to try his mettle
in God’s unspoken name to fight for good.
Grass whipped round the prophet’s ankles sighing,
not loud enough to mask the clash below.
His eyes, deep wells, filled with tears belying
the faith that hurled his sons against the foe.
And on that hilltop Moses’ time-worn hands
held Joshua’s smooth face close to his own.
He whispered of his people’s promised lands
and all the love and mercy God has shown.
As if on cue a cry of victory
rose from the chosen on the blood-soaked plain.
And Joshua’s eyes grew bright with glory
of this last and latest triumph’s gain.
Together, the young man and the prophet
began to pick their way down from the hill.
The youth leapt down, thinking nothing of it.
The elder walked and prayed for strength of will.
July 9, 2009
Isabelle, could you be more specific? I admit the last stanza was brutally negotiated. It may be overly compromised. What would you have concluded?
If only, Buk.
Thanks, Nick. God is great. I find the bible a great source of inspiration, both spiritual and literary. Religious writings, like the Jewish Torah and the Hindu Vedas, because of their antiquity and continuing impact on our moral and philosophical lives are probably the world's greatest human literature whether or not you believe in divine inspiration. The bible, though more recent, holds a lot meaning for me as a Christian.
Thanls Elys! I thought you'd like it! :)
That is a lot of adjectives, Katrina... Thanks, I think...
...obsequious? Really? Gosh, I hope not.
I dunno, Granny. I really wanted to place them above the battle on a windy hilltop. "Moans of the dying" would be closer to the action than I intended. Now, that is a sound they might have heard coming down the hill. Thanks for the thought!
6 Answers
- ElysabethLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Very beautiful...this was written from your heart, and it shows excellently. I like your rhyme scheme, and the message within...
Good Morning!
- GrannyjillLv 71 decade ago
I liked all of it except the line about the grass.....
.....how about......
The prophet heard the moans of the dying
Mingling with fierce battle cries below.
His eyes, deep wells, filled with tears belying
the faith that hurled his sons against the foe.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Wow - its a really good poem boet!
I've never thought about interpreting the bible in a poetic way!
It becomes alive with the style you use.
God is great!
Be blessed.
Keep Writing ;-)
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Finicky
Enthusiastic
Passionate
Zealous
Obsessive
Adoring
Keen
Passionate
Stimulating
Fastidious
Fervent
Wholehearted
Heartfelt
Magnificent
Jam-packed of sentiments
Congenial
Heartwarming
Obsequious
Terms are fewer 2 communicate the infatuation uncovered in this poem.
I away from uncertainty appreciate this poem by heart!!!!
This poem gets 10/10
Anticipate this facilitates :-))
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
If we could only flip roles when we need to.
Very nice.
