Borderline spouse - not sure if I can take it anymore (people w/borderline experience answer only please)?

You know, you're not his mother, and you're not his doctor... in other words, you need a functioning husband, and you don't have one.

I left. I know it sounds harsh, but I deserved to be happy, and a wonderful man has come into my life now. Leave, and let him walk his own path in life while you continue yours with the knowledge you've gained and the abilities you've developed to carry into another healthy, functioning relationship.

God Bless, I wish you all the happiness in the world. NEVER feel guilty about leaving, it's not your fault he's so f'd up.

The problem that you are dealing with is a very- very hard road to walk down,there is no other way to put it. How do I know this you may ask, because I have been there myself. I am the one that has the BP problem, and for years I just did not know what was going on. My wife and children (God bless their hearts!) were kind enough to stay with me during this whole thing. I finally went to the doctor, kicking and screaming of course, saying that there was nothing wrong with me ,but that it was the rest of the world that was nuts not me. I could not have been more wrong! So the doctor gave me Med's and right away my family, my work even people at church could tell a big change the the way I acted. But I myself did not see any change in the way I behaived. I thought that I was the same as I was befor. This is why it is so hard for people who have this problem to stay on their Med's, because they don't see the the change as others do. The first person that said to get a Med's box with the day's of the week on it had a good idea! That's great if you can watch your husband take the Med's. I would say that you both need to go back to the doctor and see if he can have the times that the Med's are taken made so that you can be there to watch.And also keep in mind that your husband also needs to do his part,because as the person said you are not his mother. If this man truly loves you he will do his part,and if you have chlidren it is a must!! I don't like the part of you leaving at all,not at all! But on the other hand if you have tryed everything else, you may have no other choice. See what the doctor says, but this man needs to step up to the plate, for you, for the kids, and for himself.God Bless and good luck. Darryl H.

My mother suffered severely from BPD, and after years and years of futile trying, I just gave up and concentrated on my life for once, and I know it doesn't sound too nice of me to say but it's the best thing I ever did. I deserved better then the paranoia, physical abuse and mental abuse. After she was diagnosed, which in it's self was a difficult thing to make her do, she was then prescribed some medicine, that, as you described, made her more bearable. But then she saw it as though both myself and the Dr's were conspiring against her, and she became her nasty old self again. People with BPD make your life a misery, and the only advice I can genuinely give, is leave. Good luck.

Buy one of those pill boxes with the Monday - Sunday logos on top to put his daily meds in and sort out his meds for him, put them in there. Get 2 one for day and one for night. It sounds like babysitting but make sure you are around when he is supposed to take his meds. Or give them to him yourself. Just try to convince him f how much you do love him ad that you are doing this for the good of all things. You guys should probably be counseling a few times a week, together and him alone. That would be a tremendous help.

I believe my soon to be ex-wife is bi-polar. She has meds for a neurological disorder, but if she doesn't take them, she has serious personality issues, irrationally lashing out over anything. Sometimes she'll have issues anyway (amplified at certain times) because she is dependent on the meds... well, she says she's not happy and is leaving me. I begged and pleaded over 5 years, but now I accept it, know I deserve better (someone who loves me as much as I love them)- she even said as much... It hurts, but I'm looking forward to closing this chapter of my life so I can move on and heal. Whichever way things go for you, good luck and God Bless.

Okay, I am BPD. There is nothing you can do. He will be Borderline for the rest of his life. He may or may not be taking his meds, but you can't enforce it. Borderlines are by nature a contrary lot.

My advice is to leave him. Borderlines do not make acceptable mates.

Deep down he knows this.

There is really no other option.

all i can say is, first of all thank you for posting on my venting not long ago. i really appreciated. also, i truly respect you for having stayed so long with him, u sure are loyal, and he must really be an awesome man, inside and when not controlled by this. physical love can help, try to stay close, even though it sounds basic and simple . when she was close, it helped , make sure to tell him how you feel. try to go out together somewhere where ur only the two of you. somewhere calm.

I don't know if this will help you any,,,,but having an adult be so dependent on you is not healthy--for you,,,,you may develop problems of your own. The important thing is he got help from professionals, you do not have to feel guilty any more.

I sense no True Love here. Perhaps it is time to cut your losses.