Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Trending News

Promoted
pip
Lv 7
pip asked in Entertainment & MusicPolls & Surveys · 1 decade ago

What's the funniest fortune cookie you've ever received?

I got one a little while back that read "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito".

That one's posted on the fridge now :P

Update:

Yeah.. we all started the "in bed" thing back in college... but you don't really need it for the mosquito one :P

13 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    ur not small then hahahahaahah XD

  • Ray Eston Smith Jr
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    The funniest book I ever read started out with a group of friends eating at a Chinese restaurant. One of them got a fortune cookie that said "your best friend will become involved with your wife." A few pages later the best friend accidentally got his zipper caught in the wife's braces. It was totally innocent but didn't look that way to the husband. From there the two friends go from one hilarious misadventure to another, thoroughly humiliating the KKK along the way.

    The book is "Handling Sin" by Michael Malone.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    you're sensible for issues you do well. I opened it on January 1st 2000 at 12:01 am. i became brainwashed into thinking the international became going to end, so I sat in a basement and ate fortune cookies.

  • Ladyitch
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    We took our daughter for fortune cookie food and when she picked her cookie out and opened it, It had NO fortune in it. We still laugh about that birthday.

    FYI: When you read a fortune cookie you should end what ever it says with: IN BED, it can get pretty funny.

    A squeaky wheel gets the oil...in bed?

    Source(s): I Love Nese' food, a lot.
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • aamh05
    1 decade ago

    WooooW now that's a funny one different to but I've never really gotten a funny fortune cookie.

  • LA*Lakers
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Haha, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my family, and this place had your fortune on one side, and "lucky numbers" on the other. So every one is reading theirs and when it came my turn I said, "No fair all I got was numbers" I didn't know that it had BOTH. Everyone laughed at me.

  • Kristelle's Trophy Wife♥
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Go to bed with a sore bum.

    Wake up with a sticky finger!

  • Geo.
    1 decade ago

    One of them said,

    "Help, I'm being held in captive labor in a Chinese cookie factory.:

  • Anna D
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    A friend once got this

    "Sing 'lover, come back to me' and you will receive a surprise."

  • Pfo
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    "Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you"

    Or, the one I most recently got:

    "It is better to be the hammer than the anvil (in bed)"

  • Cristal
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    "Some people collect postcards, others collect cookies!"

    Everyone at the table laughed..

  • Show more answers (2)
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.