Why does my husband feel like that marriage counseling would be an attack on him?

My husband thought he’d be the bad guy when we went into counseling but I told him that if he wanted this to work, he’d have to go in with an open mind. On our first appt he sat in the waiting room saying “Why in the hell am I sitting here?”.

We’ve gone for a month now and our marriage is better because of it. My husband admitted he was wrong in thinking he’d be attacked, and he says that our therapist is open minded, non-accusatory, and that she’s a very smart woman who can help us out.

My husband didn’t cheat, but he does have anger problems. And he was always so quick to blame everyone else before he took responsibility for his own actions. That’s changed now….

Give counseling a shot. It may or may not help you guys. But you know darn well things aren’t going too smoothly now and obviously neither of you are happy. So either do something about it or stay miserable forever.

Don't make a big deal out of going alone. If it's that important to your wife, then just do it. Consider it a small price to pay towards having a give and take relationship with her. Besides, it's not like you won't get anything out of it. From all the questions you posted about your situation, it sounds like you have endured an awful lot with this woman. You have put up with things that most men wouldn't dream of ~ and there are reasons why you do that. Some of those reasons may be good and honorable, but I suspect there is a fair amount of dysfunction in your life that causes you to accept crap. Uncovering the reasons why may prove to be beneficial to you, and it can help you establish healthy boundaries as you try to put your marriage back together.

Your husband is only going to do what he wants to do. Slapping his was wrong, but I understand your frustration. And he reserved the right to move out. I think that you should keep your foot down on this one. If your husband really wants to work on your marriage, tell him that he will go at least one time and if he really doesn't like it, that the two of you will find other ways to resolve your problems. If he doesn't want to go, then you know how serious he is about the marriage. Go ahead and give him some time to cool off or out, but not too damn long. If that distance does not work or that time shows no change, its counseling time and if he says no, give him an altimatium. If he says Im not going, I don't care, then you know where your marriage stands.

Way too much here to read all of so I will just tackle the bigger picture. He is seeing the counseling in the wrong light, he needs to see it as a neutral party. Most likely its because he knows he is wrong and if he goes then there will be 2 people saying it.

A lot of people, both male and female, do not like to air their problems in front of outsiders. Sometimes they see it as an admission of guilt, having to explain that they are wrong or have failed in someway, while others see it as weakness, not being able to cope on their own.

A lot of times when men refuse counseling they do not want to fix what is broken.. Good luck hon I hope whatever happens is the best for you and your child. Maybe you should go see one just by yourself.

Well he feels like that cuz he doesn't want to get better and really i think you guys need more then marriage counseling because both of you need help

You need a whole TEAM of counsellors.

A lot of counsellors more or less automatically blame the husband for everything. A good counsellor will be objective.

I recommend a round of counseling for all...anything less would be a great disservice to your child - not to mention yourselves and your marriage...

Sounds like you both need counseling, and also some anger therapy.