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How do you get your husband to want to have sex with you?

My husband is 18 years older than me, im in my early 20's.

The past few months, he has been having issues with sex. Its almost like he has completely lost his sex drive.

I read somewhere that you should fulfill your hubbys fantasys.

I remember one time he said that he had a fantasy about me dressing up as a school girl. Plaid skirt , white shirt, ponytails.

So last weekend, Friday night, I went out and bought the things to make his fantasy come true. And Friday night I dressed up for him, and he was VERY aroused by this. Almost immediately he got erect, as soon as he saw me. I do everything he wants, Im not shy in the sex department.

But now, its back to the same old thing. I almost have to beg him for sex. And he acts like its chore.

I know he works, and he has to sleep, and he is tired.

But what gives. Im almost 20 years younger than him, and im attractive, at least to him.

I know he isnt cheating for a fact... so before any rude comments, thats not whats going on.

Thanks.

Update:

SIX6UN: You know what? I wouldnt dream of EVER having my man give me up to you. I love my husband, and am not asking for another way out, for sex.

I dont know what gives you the balls to think that youre the "****".

My man is twice more the man that you will ever be. He respects me and we have a very good relationship. Our sex life could use a boost. So? Im sure you have been there. Other than the sex thing.... He is the most decent, honorable man, I have EVER been with, or met. ... and Im POSITIVE you could learn MORE than a Thing or two from him.

And I respect my husband...Can any of your girl friends say the same about you? I doubt it!

20 Answers

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  • SIX6UN
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Gaga,

    My sympathies! I would like to say, not in a rude way, that for every woman begging, yes, begging for coitus there are ten thousand men who beg too. Not me, SIX6UN is loaded. I'm glad to meet any young woman married to an old guy, they always—every-dang-time—slip me their phone number. I see it in the man's eyes, he squints in quiet resignation, never had one challenge me. I think they know that they need help with their too, too young wife.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    Well that really has to suck for you doesn't it? I hope you both are not trapped in a marriage that your only staying in for the others sake. If you have needs then don't be afraid to tell him. Because it should already be obvious to him that you do and its not fair to you that your not getting what you want from it, simply cause he just doesn't feel like it. Its not like your going to do it everyday. Just when you both feel comfortable in doing it. He expects things to be a certain way, why cant he realize you expect it to be a certain way to?And as I see it the scale that you both have are uneven, so try to make him realize that by going to a doctor and talk about what you need to get the relationship going back on track. Because who knows it maybe a fact that something can be really wrong and needs to figure out to the root of what is happening because most men would not have a low sex drive at a earlier age like that. I know a doctor can be a little expensive, but for marriage that you want to last a life time will be well wroth it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My husband and I had the same problem. It turned out he had high blood pressure. I bet he loves you and is just as frustrated. Our doctor gave my hubby Cialis a medication for men with high blood pressure and not able to do the you know what. My husband is 20 years my senior and the medication did work. You sound like a wonderful wife. I hope this helps because I went through the same thing and through the medication and diet change it really helped. I wish the best for you and be there for him. Take care!

    Source(s): Younger wife too and my husband is not only my lover, but also my bestfreind.
  • 1 decade ago

    Hi Hon,

    I'm SURE it's not you. It definitely sounds like he's depressed. (Once again, I"m sure it's not you). Make him an appointment with his family doctor first. See how that pans out, see what he says and go from there.

    If the GP doesn't see anything 'wrong' with him, then I'd suggest booking an appointment with a marriage counsellor. Do NOT be embarassed. So many of us have to do this nowadays. If you want your marriage to continue, it's so worth it.

    It sounds like you're doing all the right things. So don't blame yourself. Something must be going on with him. Maybe mid-life crisis kinda thing? Anyways that is for the Dr. to find out. So take my advice and let us know how it works out!

    Good luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hey girl, I'm going threw the same thing. An overworked man and claims he's too tired for sex. Mean while he finds time to do the things he enjoys.

    1. Talk to him. Make sure the love he has for you is still there. Tell him to be honest.

    2. Having porno mags and videos on hand is not a bad thing. If it puts him in the mood and your his only love then it should be a good thing.

    It may even help if your the one who picks out the mags. It will make you feel better if you both can find your turn on's.

    3. Offer him oral sex first. Tell him just to sit back and enjoy. Maybe it will get him excited enough to perform.

    4. If he's really that tired and your in the mood.. Ask him if he can help you masturbate.

    Hope this helps. Good luck. :)

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Thirty eight year old men usually do not have any trouble with a sex drive. I would suggest getting him a tune-up at the local physician, and then getting his sorry butt off the couch for some exercise at the local gym.

    Then again, when you marry someone that much older, don't you expect that at some point and time this is going to happen?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you have been married for awhile it may be that he gets tired of the same women. I know that sounds crazy because you're married but men (and probably women also) deep down want variety with different women. The role playing helps but at the end of the day the routine after the clothes are off its probably somewhat the same.

    That said I salute you and wish my wife was as into as you are!

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi,

    Slightly concerned that your husband married a woman 18 years younger than him and gets very aroused at you in a school girl outfit.

    I am now half expecting you to tell me that he is a family friend that you have known for years and that he was probably grooming you from a young age.

    I guess the immediate answer to your question is, if you want sex put on your ponytails for him.

    But I would definitely suggest some sort of couselling for him. Because that is a little bit creepy.

    I am sorry to suggest that about your husband but you did ask for advice.

    And what is going to happen as you age? I know you are always going to be 18 years younger than him but you are not always going to be able to pass yourself off as a schoolgirl, even to him.

    I wish you all the best hon,

    Red Stripe

  • Shar B
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    There could be different reasons for the problem. Could be his blood pressure medicine if he takes it; could be he is really tired from work; and it could be that he needs to have a physical to find out if there are any underlying health problems. Some men do experience low testosterone.

  • Memory
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    If he got turned on by you dressing up like a school girl, that means that's what he's into. The guy is attracted to a woman dressed up as a kid. If that's what it takes to get him, then your in trouble. A real man doesn't need his woman acting like a school girl to get a stiffy.

    I changed my answer because I previously read the question wrong.

  • 1 decade ago

    It could be stress. A lot of guys are affected in the sex department when they are bogged down with stress. Make sure you fulfill his emotional needs or other needs of respect, admiration.... some guys have lower sex drive if they are not respected, admired or appreciated by their woman.

    I went thru this too... slowly coming out of it but its taking a while and a lot of effort.

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