How would you feel if your spouse as much as gives you the go ahead to have sex with other people as long as?

This would NOT be a marriage in my site. How could you in all honesty love your husband, but have sex w/someone else?! IF my husband said this to me, I honestly would wonder how much or IF he even honestly loved me. This is NOT the true meaning of the word marriage. Marriage is between TWO people & NOT a "convenience" of doing what's better for him, what's better for you. I truly would take that as an insult if my husband proposed anything of the sort to me. I would NOT want him after I KNEW he'd been w/someone else. This to me would be a marriage of convenience, not a marriage out of true love for one another. Sorry, but that just does NOT appeal to me in one single way. If it does to you two, then do as you see fit. But no matter how you "cut the cake" so to speak, that would just plain be cheating as far as I'm concerned. He's telling you to cheat on him & he doesn't even care?! To me, that's NOT loving someone...:(

Sounds like a realistic method of dealing with a real problem. I hate that people say that marriage is all about compromise, but then you propose a situation out of their moral ability and they tell you that divorce is the best option - moral high road ehh. Now there are certainly implications of any decision, but those are not things that two adults can not take into consideration and overcome. I say that you proceed with caution, understanding, and respect, but remember that you and your husband have the right to arrange your marriage in the situation most fitting to you. So long as you maintain honesty, caring, love, respect and the relationship for and with each other then you can do whatever makes you both happy. We should all remember that the vibrator was a medical device first and there was a time that a copay and willing doctor would be all you need to make the solution happen, maybe you can call the new toy Doc - have fun and be true to yourself, why a messy divorce when all that is needed is a little messy fun?

If my wife honestly had NO sex drive what so ever, and gave me permission to have sex with any one else to make me happy, I think I would just take care "business" myself. This opens the marriage up to loads of future black holes. What happens if say someone gets pregnant or catches something nasty? What if it involves other innocent people like spouses or children? It could come up later in a divorce proceeding that you were cheating and caused the divorce.

However if this option is still your first choice, and you do not have the cash for a professional gigolo ( which would be ideal since he would not want to be involved with you in a relationship ), feel free to write or call to discuss this in private....

That could be a medical problem. He should see a doctor, if he hasn't already. If he has no sex drive, then he may be worried you are not getting what you need physically. You said he takes care of you and the kids financially and married for 23 years, so he cares for you alot. The offer may just be another way for him to see that your happy. Still, he should see a doctor because no sex drive for a man isn't natural. Good Luck!

If he really had no interest in sex with me and would not be hurt or offended (or use it as an excuse for divorce) if I had sex with other men, then it would be awesome to have the option. I'm not sure I would actually do it but I like having my options open. For that to happen, doesn't there have to be a deep friendship & emotional intimacy with the husband?

Maybe he is looking for an excuse to do the same. In otherwords what's good for the goose is good for the Gander. If you are going to have a sexual affair with other men whether he approves it or not then he need not feel guilty of doing the same. Which he wants to do any way he's just trying to find an excuse to be able to have his cake and eat it too. or maybe he has already had an extramarital affair and is afraid of you finding out so he is trying to cover his tracks and his butt

Knew a couple like this. It seemed to work. I was the accepted third.

Maybe some kind of advanced human reasoning?

Hard to pull off. Hard not to fall for the third party. On the other hand...playful way to be if discrete.

I'd offer to accept. Try it out with both understanding the 'rules.'

He may say that, but there is a good chance that he doesn't mean it. He may be actually hoping that you will say that you don't need anyone else and that he is enough. If he does think that he means it, it may be a entirely different story once you actually do it. Also, there is a chance that you will become emotionally involved with someone else and then I guarantee that he will not be happy at all. This sound like a recipe for disaster to me.

This is a very common condition among long time married couples. In the fact 'cuckold' is what it is called. The man fantasizes about a person pleasing his wife, this fantasy usually involves humiliation to the husband as she compare him to her new and better lover and this excites the husband.

In today's economy, I think you should go back to work and help bring in a little more cash to pay down bills and make ends meet. Sweet Mildred is my leader...Crawl into her playpen with me.