Husband in Medical School and not much time for me/family...?

Your husband is being grossly unfair, as well as being self-centered and selfish. You need to nip this in the bud now!

And by the way, who is paying for his medical school? If it is you, have you considered the fact that many med students divorce their wives after they get their doctor's license, leaving the former spouse in poverty while they keep all the benefits of the degree that was paid for by their ex-spouse.

I think you need to tell him that you aren't paying another dime towards his education costs until this relationship becomes equitable (meaning he must spend more time with you and the family AND he must sign a legal document (doing this through the lawyer) that states he will repay every single dime spent on his medical decree if he divorces you within ten years of getting his license. Only then will you be protected.

And you might mention that he needs to get a part time job to help pay more of the cost of his child (no more free ride). He can use the time he is spending on the gym to earn some money. I suggest that you practice some form of birth control as neither of you can afford any more children at the moment. Take care.

Going to school with a family is tough as hell - I've been there. You fix the lonely part by hanging out with friends. Girls' night out, kaffeeklatsches, gripe sessions, whatever it takes. A doctor's wife is a tough job, too.

He doesn't need the gym so much for his sanity as he does his health. Three times a week is the minimum; four days a week he DOESN'T go. I think he is budgeting his time very tightly. He knows he has family obligations, school obligations, and other stuff on his plate, and he's really trying not to drop the ball anywhere.

But doing it, anyway, it sounds like. All I can suggest is patience. During quarter or semester breaks, make the most of it. Go to movies, take walks, make love.......anything you want. Believe me when I say he's not happy with how little time he's spending with you; it makes him feel guilty, but he's between a rock and a hard place.

Some therapy sessions might give you some coping strategies, or some friends in similar situations might be able to give you some insights. Other men? Not the answer, believe me, so don't find that out the hard way.

Good luck, hon.....

You should have a heart to heart conversation with him, if you haven't already. Maybe you need to plan your time together ahead of time, for the time being. If you buy two tickets for his favorite band, sports team, or movie he really wants to see, he is not going to want to flake out. Once he realizes how much fun he has, maybe he will try to make more time for the two of you.

Maybe one night when he gets home from school, have candles lit, music on and prepare a homemade dinner. Bribe him with some fancy new massage oil. [FACT: one hour of vigorous sex burns 360+ an hour]. Hopefully he will be much more interested in spending quality time with you this way, than going to the gym.

I'm definitely going through that, but is he a first year? how far along is he in his studies/residency? Does he seem to be understanding of you missing him?

First you have to tell him that you miss him and maybe join him at the gym or try to spend some time with him. If he doesn't want you at the gym, that means right now he is only thinking about himself and his education. It is up to you if he is worth waiting for.

If you have children together, you should try to make things work, if you don't, then maybe gauge how much he really thinks about you and examine if he's worth it in the long run.

If you didn't know this before committing to marriage you were very naive to the situation. I think at this point you make the best of it or leave him after telling him exactly what you've told us. The fact of the matter is simple...if the gym is more important to him than time with his wife then you married one selfish man who shows you little respect. Good luck changing him...sounds like you'll need it throughout your marriage.

PS...he does sound like a self centered man who will make a lousy husband. You may want to think of that before you commit any more time to him. Like any doctor he comes first, the patient second and you and family a very distant third. I couldn't handle living as such but everybody is different and if you can handle the loneliness and condescention then feel free.

He is going through medical school, what did you expect? Did you think a person could do that by spending five minutes a day on their studies? Great idea, by the way, to be "starting to notice" other men. It must warm your husband's heart to know that, while he's working his butt off to get a great career going which will not only benefit him but you, his kid and your kids too, his wife is thinking about ways to rationalise her desire to cheat. Sheesh, princess, it's not all about you. Get a hobby, spend time with your kids, support your husband. He won't be in medical school forever, but you'll be a skank forever if you cheat on him just because you're temporarily not the centre of attention.

im still trying to figure that out when my fiancee will start med school... my advice to you is things i have thought of for myself and our relationship:

-it's temporary; things will be normal soon:)

-med school can be very stressing and exercise helps reduce stress so let him do that because if he is stressed he will cause you to be stressed (my fiancee works out too)

-help him study it gives you time together and he can use all the help he can get

-this will provide a better future for you and your family (education is the key to success)

-devote a certain amount of time each day just for each other even if it's just for a short period of time

-i start to notice otha men as well and sometimes even flirt with them, when this happens talk to him dont tell him your noticing other men that could get bad, but tell him you are feeling neglected and need some type of affection but when you are saying this you need to remember he has a lot of responsibilities and a lot on his plate (make sure to tell him that) and work something out maybe jus 1 date night a week or 1 nite or day jus the 2 of u but compromise, even if it is cutting out a exercise day or jus exercising for 1 hr

-remember a relationship is a 2 way street

-once again remember this will be ova soon and it's for a betta future

**hope this helps:)

You have to put up with it.

Med school is not easy.

Ask him to at least dedicate the evenings on the weekend to you and get out and have some fun together.

When we were finishing school and working opposite shifts it about did us in; don't go off with another man and guard yourself a lot more if you go out drinking or what not. If you do... the only thing that saves your marriage is if he's doing it to.

you just ask him if the same thing happened to him dur to you then what the hell will happened to him

or

just find some one to share your feelings just like me

waiting for u r reply