I refuse to call my neighbor "Doctor Smith" (not real name) and call him "Mister Smith"..rude?

Oh, I agree with you. My Dad has a doctorate and when ever someone doesn't refer to him as Doctor, he gets made. He's not even a doctor.

On my wedding invitations, I put Mr. blah blah requests the honor of your.... and he called me to chew me out because I referred to him as Mr and not Dr. I think it is so stupid.

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I would go out of my way to not do it either. Since he has asked to be called Dr. What a huge ego on this guy!

It is pretentious and demeening to others, like they should kiss his feet because he got his doctorate, big whoop!

When I see my Dr. outside out of the office I still call him Dr. because we do not have a close relationship. If we were good friends or neighbors I would call him by his first name.

I think (1) it's totally pretentious to demand to be called "Dr."

(2) it's immature and moronic to go out of your way to call him "Mr."

(3) That spending time in school DOES give him the right to be called "Dr." That's the whole point. You really don't get that?

(4) If you knew your history, you would know that the Dr. of Philosophy (PhD) applies to all Doctorates outside of Medical Doctorates - including Physics, Math, Astronomy, Biology, etc. And also that the PhD is ancient, far older than the established medical profession; and that the whole reason we call MDs "doctor" is because about 150 years ago they started emulating the PhDs, not the other way around.

In short, while I think he's being an assh*le, at least he has the absolute right to act like one. You're acting like one without any justification whatsoever.

Traditional etiquette stated that individuals with doctoral degrees should use the "Dr." title only in academic settings. It was believed to be pretentious to use the "Dr." title socially.

However, modern etiquette in the U.S. suggests that individuals with doctoral degrees should use the "Dr." title in academic, professional, and social settings. This signifies a change from traditional etiquette. There will probably be a number of people who still prescribe to the old etiquette rules concerning titles. Most newer etiquette books recommend the use of "Dr." instead of "Mr." even in social situations.

So, according to modern etiquette, you should use the title "Dr." instead of "Mr." when referring to your neighbor. In addition, it is polite to address people the way that they want to be addressed. I see no reason to justify your antagonism of your neighbor.

He's a doctor. Call him by his title or his first name.

If you had a doctorate, you'd expect the same. It takes many years of hard work and great expense to earn a Ph.D. The least you can do it call him Dr. You're being rude.

You are my hero.

I too hate when phd called themselves doctors because phd is a research degree not a professional title like real doctors. by their concept we should call master degree holder a master.

I think it would be pretentious if he asked you to bow down and kiss his feet every time you saw him. Asking you to call him by his correct title is not pretentious at all. He earned that right by getting his PhD. And that's what he prefers to be called. You purposely calling him by the wrong name is just childish and rude. If someone preferred to be called Bill would you go out of your way to call him William? Similar situation. It's not harmful or difficult for you to call him by his preferred name so why are you making it a big deal?

Yeah if he isnt a medical doctor then I wouldnt call him doctor. I would respond "i wouldnt want to confuse anyone who overhears me greet you, in case someone around here ever has a medical emergency. I mean, you dont want them to come to your house at that time,. would you?"

I would maybe call them by their FIRST name from now on instead. Id be like "doctor is so informal" Hi BILL etc.

I think you are quite rude.

You are correct that strictly speaking normally only medical doctors use the honorific "Dr." socially. However, the other etiquette rule that you seem to be forgetting is that grown ups get to decide how they want to be addressed. Is he being pretentious? Sure he is. But I don't see how that hurts you in any way whatsoever. Do you really think that being a jerk toward your neighbor is going to make him suddenly change his opinion and stop wanting to be called Dr.? No. More likely it will just make him think you are a jerk. He might well be correct in that.

Let's break it down. Someone told you he prefers "Dr" to "Mr" and someone told you he gets upset when people don't address him that way. He requested of you directly--several times--to be addressed in the way he prefers.

You, however, decided that you wanted to deliberately upset and annoy someone who (presumably) has done you no harm. You are being nasty to someone that from your own posting sounds like he never did anything to harm you. He probably wonders why you are so behaving that way. From your comment on "bowing down" to his doctorate, I'm assuming that you don't have one yourself and that you somehow feel inferior and therefore are lashing out at a neighbor for no good reason.

I'm glad I'm not your neighbor. You sound like an absolute jerk. You owe him an apology. Failing that, since I'm sure you won't apologize, from here forward you should allow other adults to be addressed the way they want to and start calling him Dr.