Have you ever broke off your engagement?? Why?

Yes, We were together for 9 years with one kid, and the engagement lasted less than 2 months... I didn't give my ring back, it actually was given to me on Christmas so it is considered a Christmas gift, which you don't have to return. Now, there are a lot of factors in asking if you should give it back or not, personally I don't think I would have given it back no matter what, but I have heard these are some factors... 1. Who's fault was the break up? Urs - maybe give it back; His - Keep it 2. What is the price? Expensive - Maybe give it back; Extremely Expensive - pawn it! 3. What will you do with a ring that has so much meaning to something that is a very bad experience in the end if it didn't work?

OMG sweetie, my heart goes out to you, that's terrible and reminds me and very similar of what happend to me and now my huband of 7 years....he was abusing pills and I did catch him, but, he was high when this happend and doesn't remember hitting on me that night...

Long story short, I didn't listen to what my family was saying or all the people telling me to leave him. We had been together 2.5 years when this happend and he cleaned his act up because he loved me and didn't want to lose me. I gave a choice of either the drugs or me. I thank God he chose me, because now we've proven everyone wrong we are HAPPILY MARRIED and do struggle from time to time, but, NO relationship is perfect. 4 years is a long time to give up in my opinion and obviously you two have made it this long for a reason, also, you said he's passive, so that tells me that it was the drugs. If he's apologetic and will give up the pills, then with hard work you two can work it out. This is exactly what happend to me and believe me its not easy, but, remember, when a person is on drugs, its really not that person, its the drugs are doing the thinking/actions for that person. By all means, I'm not condoning what he did....but, my husband did the same thing and doesn't remember putting his hands on me the way he did and apologized many times over , so I had to keep that in mind and we went to counseling and I forgave him. It was a long road and I'm glad I've forgiven him and we moved on. He truly is my partner for life. Thats a decision you have to make yourself hun and how much you truly love him. I would forgive him, sounds like he deserves a chance. Only reason why I say it is because I went thru it and it made our relationship stronger. hope this helps...

Yes I have broken off an engagement and it was the best thing I ever did. Based on what you've written, you need to do the same and get rid of him for good. An addict is bad enough, but an abusive one??? He doesn't have a passive personality at all...his real personality just didn't come out until he started taking the pills and you confronted him. Now you know how he really is. Good luck to you.

i have broke off relationships with girls that i was very interested in but i know that it was just my flesh and the person was not right for me we were going diffrent paths but on the surfaces it looked like we were a good match, take everything with a grain of salt for u dont know me, first abuse is never good in a relationship and you dont deserve that kind of treatment, also i am engaged and i think the world of my other half.God forbid but say for example if i were abusing medication or drugs etc. which i have before when i wasnt living right and say i was abusive toward my other half it would show me that i am not mature and ready for a serious relationship because i havent dealt and resolved the issue of why i am acting the way i am,the question whould be why am i running from my problems and not dealing with them. So how can i take on marriage one of the most sacred and life time commitments i could ever make when i cant handle who i am now. I personally did not truly think about marriage until i made up my mind that i was going to live right. So dont let the enemy lie to u thinking it will get better when you are married, seek godly counsel ask the Holy Spirit to help you put Jesus first and im telling you my sister from experience when you put Jesus first He WILL give you the desires of your heart according to His perfect will for your life. again with a grain of salt i recommend that you get away from him and pray that the Lord will change him, see if he will do counseling, how does he respond if you ask him if he wants to go to church, the Word of God will Change people gurantee, telling you from experience, people say things but without actions their words are empty if you dont see him changing and not just temporarily but a life style change he wont change when you get married, sometimes we say well change later but were only decieving ourselves because when later comes we are still the same. I cant stress this enough for you my sister wait on the Lord HE will guide you i promise you, hope this was helpful ur brother

I was engaged at 19 but kept the engagement quiet while overseas.

I had concerns about how his family saw me and how his father's cousin has spread word around that I was only after my boyfriend to get the family farm. My concerns were brushed off as not valid when I mentioned them to my boyfriend. He and his family also considered it "fun" to reduce me to tears by rubbishing me and my country.

Some weeks after becoming engaged we were doing the dishes together and I was drying. Suddenly, for no reason and on purpose, he slopped a dish mop full of near boiling dish water into the front of my jeans. In surprise I hit him on the arm for what he'd done. He turned and slapped me hard across the face!

No one had ever slapped me across the face in my life! Big RED flag!

Not long after this, I returned to my country for my grandmother's 80th birthday and my family did not recieve the engagement news very well. My dad made a bet with me that it would be all off in 6 months.

He won his bet in 3 months... a combination of distance and my concerns as to this being the right person to marry.

I have not regretted breaking off that engagement or turning down several other proposals... they would never have worked. I asked myself "can I live with this for the rest of my life?" The answers were No, so I did not proceed.

I am now happily married to someone who loves me and respects my country and... he does not believe in hitting women.

is this the man? you said...9 months ago....

quote: "I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We have lived together for 1 year. We recently have picked out an engagement ring together and planning to get engaged by the end of this year. He has always told me everyday how much he loves me, he always wants to make me happy no matter what. He has been kind to me and a gentleman for the last few years. And stupid me....I fell for it. He was drinking this past weekend and he came into the living room and out of the blue he tells me this...."You are a whore, you were a whore when I met you, your a whore now, and you will always be a whore!" We weren't even in a heated argument. I was completely blindsided by this. I haven't spoke to him in 3 days. I can't breathe when I think about it. I am beyond hurt. This is the first man I actually have been honest with and have let him in my personal life. He keeps calling my cell and leaving me messages of how sorry he is and he didn't mean it. I don't know what to do because the pain of this is unbearable. Not only does this comment let me know what he thinks of me, but it shows me disrespect. No one has ever said anything so hurtful to me ever.He has sent me flowers and is begging me for forgiveness, he has even been crying. What would you do if you were me? Remember, we live together but I am not sure I can get past this and forgive."

sounds like a real charmer to me...

edit: sounds like an addict to me. do you know about Alanon for yourself? run like the wind.

edit #2. two years ago you said this. same guy?

Has anyone ever had a family member or spouse who went to drug/alcohol rehab?

My ex is in a drug rehab and when I visit him he really seems to take it seriously and seems like a different person. I am worried what happens when he gets out. Does anyone have an experience or advice they can give me about this???

and there is a post on you being clean and in recovery yourself. you know what to do. you know what the deal is.

Go with what your heart tells you to do. Every relationship is different. If what he did to break your trust is unforgivable like he cheated on you then just move on. Try to talk about it and if that doesn't work then break off your engagement or hold off on getting married until you work it out. The worst thing ever would be to get married without trusting him. Good luck and hopefully you do what your heart tells you to do. By the way, what did he do to break your trust. Just wondering.

I broke off my engagement. But I was a little sneaky about it. I just started calling him my boyfriend again instead of fiance' when I would introduce him. He finally noticed and asked about it, that 's when I told him. I broke it off because I realized that he was not the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And instead of waiting until we were married I did it before it got to late.

A friend of mine broke of her engagement because the guy was the scum of the earth. He emotionally abused her, had started physically abusing her, and when she got pregnant (unplanned) he didn't believe it was his.

I can't tell you how incredibly glad I am that she never married him. He did deserve her. Not in the slightest. She's doing great now... entering a Physicians Assistant program, and mom to the cutest little boy ever.

Stay away from this guy, he'll only get worse.

I ended a relationship right before the guy wanted to propose...we had been dating for a year and a half and I just knew he wasn't the one for me. He was a nice guy but I needed someone more like me. I found my now husband less then a year later - no regrets!