I have been with my Muslim boyfriend for 4 years...have I been wasting my time. Is he using me?

This will be hard to hear.

He hasn't introduced you to his parents, and he hasn't disavowed them or their views of inter-faith marriages. He hasn't asked you about converting (you or him), the sure sign that he's serious about marriage.

You mention that he refers to you as his wife on the phone with his friends, from which I infer that you haven't met his friends either. If you have, then they will be a big clue as to how he sees you. If not, well...

On another note, where do *you* see this relationship going? Are you planning on having children? Remember the awful British prejudices against Pakistanis also include their mixed children.

Are you thinking of converting? Because he will not, or if he does, he will probably convert back, then abduct your children to Pakistan (30 British child abductions last year ended up in Pakistan).

If you convert, then change your mind, do it before you go to Pakistan, where he will have his whole culture on the side of oppressing you and your children. You don't think he's capable of it? "According to the Pakistan Institute of Medical Sciences, over 90% of married women report being kicked, slapped, beaten or sexually abused when husbands were dissatisfied by their cooking or cleaning, or when the women had 'failed' to bear a child or had given birth to a girl instead of a boy. Another organization stated that one woman is murdered and one woman is kidnapped in Pakistan every day" (See source below) Ninety percent. Do you think you can buck those odds? Cheers, mate.

He has not introduced you to his milieu after four years. He refuses to talk about where the "relationship" is going. He's using you for sex, and he's not in love with you.

All you have mentioned are things that show he cares for you. You haven't mentioned one thing otherwise, so stop being so dense.

You have to understand that people from that part of the world are deeply rooted in customs and traditions. He's most likely under a lot of pressure from his family to marry someone of the same background as the family. You do have every right to know where this is going. If there is no future in this, then you should break up with him and move on but also understand that being with you is most likely going against his family's wishes. You also have to stop being so passive and letting him decide everything. It takes two of you to be in a relationship so if things aren't working out then you need to stop waiting for him to break up with you.

you have to understand our culture...if u havnt converted yet chances r he wont marry you...4 years is a long time if he wanted he could have told his parents about you..just ask him what he wants from you? and then see what you can do about it.

I really do wish i m wrong but i dont think you have a future with him. The sooner you ask him about ur relationship the beter it will be.

Tip: tell him that u want to meet his parents...if he agrees u proli have a chance but if even after 4 years he doesnt want that..then i think u should move on

Do you want to marry this GUY ??

Or do you want to get married in general ???

Cause if you want to marry this GUY . . . . That's kind of where ur at.

And if you just want to get married in general . . . . There's a whole lot easier ways to go about that then waiting around for this guy to figure out the sun then moon and the stars.

Its all about what you really reallly want out of life.

if u are never going to be accepted by his family then surely u are wasting your time hoping for a long term future with him

his family will

sort out an arranged marriage for him

and you'll be left behind

been there

done that

He's just using U!

im sorry, but most muslims only use women for sex. im guessing your white and blonde?