Is it acceptable for a person in a relationship to spend time im-ing someone of the opposite sex?

Question

Is it acceptable for a person in a relationship to spend time im-ing someone of the opposite sex?
Computers have changed the rules in modern day relationships. Just wondering........ My boyfriend and I have been living together for six months. Like everyone else these days, we both have a facebook page. this has created lots of re-connections with people from our school days and out pasts. in his case one of these friends is a girl that he has not seen since the 7th grade. we are in our 40's. They chat now. He only chats with her when i am not around. Is this something I should be upset about or not. Im not being jealous, just feel like he should be able to chat with me sitting there with him, but he wont. If she messages him when im there he doesnt answer. and if i ask questions like "is she married" or where does she live, he gets defensive. I have always felt that it is ok to have friends of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship. I too have guy friends. but I feel there needs to be openness between you regarding these friends. Ill only chat with mine with him there and share with him so that he can get to know about them too. suggestions anyone? What are the new rules?
2 hours ago - 4 days left to answer.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You are correct to say, "I feel there needs to be openness between you regarding these friends." 

As far as rules go, I think intention is very important. It should be clean and pure, as you want to be faithful to your spouse.

Tell him honestly and politely how you feel.

. · Answer

I think that's a little fishy that he gets defensive and refuses to talk to her when you're around. What exactly do they talk about that he feels the need to hide the conversation?

Everyone's entitled to have friends of the opposite sex, of course, but his behavior is warranting suspicion. 

Doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating or going to cheat, but perhaps they dated in the past and she broke his heart and they are rekindling memories about things? Who knows, they could be talking about anything, but the fact he's hiding and acting like he has something to hide isn't good.

southern belle · Answer

Facebook and Myspace cause too many problems.  He should not be im'ming her.  Good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

you should be more worried if he did it when you were they (choosing to talk to them rather then you)

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Is it acceptable for a person in a relationship to spend time im-ing someone of the opposite sex?

4 Answers